muffinman1127 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Hi guys, I know that most things work themselves out over time, but it is really therapeutic to hear other opinions when things are rough. So here's my situation: As always seems to be the case, I started seeing someone casually about 5 months before we would be spending a full summer in separate parts of the country. We meant to keep it casual, but things got really intense and we completely fell for each other. Fast forward to summer, we tried long distance for a week or so but then decided it was best to break up for summer so that we could be independent instead of attached through long distance. Breakup was mutual, but there was nothing bad about the relationship, just circumstance. We have talked every couple weeks, and I recently found out she is seeing someone else. We talked about it and she said it wasn't serious because she still has feelings for me and wasn't ready to put walls down for someone else. We are both young, and I just graduated university so it was unsure if we would love in the same place again. As circumstance would have it, we are going to be in the same city after summer and then I'm moving to work where she plans on moving. We had talked about getting back together after summer, but she thought we would be far apart. When I told her about us being in the same place, she said it changed things and that there was a lot to think about. However, she is still seeing someone casually and it will be over a month before summer is over. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar to this. I don't want to dwell on the relationship but I also really want it to work out. It's a very confusing middle ground and I don't know how to handle it. Thanks for reading, I would love to hear opinions Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Hey, I guess the best thing to do is to keep in touch and see where things go. For what you say there is a good chance you guys can get back together. Don´t pressure things and see what happens with the other guy. In the mean time try to enjoy your Summer! Link to post Share on other sites
Author muffinman1127 Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 Thanks for the reply. Just had another call with her and she said that she needed to close the door to pursue the other guy. I'm really struggling and I don't know if I decided to move to the same city for her or for myself. I still feel like I really want to go but it's a smallish city and I would likely see her around. I wouldn't be going there until the end of the year, but after summer I will be in my university town, where she would also be. How do I separate my own decisions from her? Do I just completely drop hope of reconnection to move on? This is hitting me really hard and I feel completely lost. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 If the move isn't happening until the end of the year you don't need to make a decision TODAY do you? Let your emotions settle down some to where you can view your motives accurately. Write down a list of the reason why you want to go to that small city, and be honest with yourself. You do know why you want to go, if you give it some honest thought. Link to post Share on other sites
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