Chewybrwn Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 i like a guy at work, and we have this great chemistry, but whenever the subject of his girlfriend comes up with fellow co-workers (me not asking anything about it and just being in the room) he isn't very verbal and open about it. when questions like "what's her name" come up and he ignores it and says nothing; or "are you serious about her" and he bluntly says no. what is the deal? we've gotten really close and i show obvious attraction for him, but I'm not understanding this relationship he is in with is girlfriend. doesn't a guy who at least likes his girlfriend at least acknowledge her name and moments every once in a while? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 it seems like he might of been avoiding to talk about it in front of you cuz he likes you? but uh, do you really want a guy who would do all that while he has a gf? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 He is keeping the two of you in separate places in his head so that your dealings with him and his dealings with his girlfriend stay separate. He probably no more wants to talk with you about the girlfriend than he would want to talk to his girlfriend about you. This can mean one of two things: he is either not very interested in her, or he loves her and wants to hide that from you to increase his chances of getting in your pants. Know this though: no matter what he says or doesn't say about the girlfriend - if he is holding on to her, even while going after you then you can be assured that he has a bond with her that he has no intention of breaking: even for you. If you want him for yourself, then cut off all the flirting and stop presenting yourself as a girl who has no problem pursuing someone else's boyfriend. If a guy has a girlfriend, and some other girl comes along who knows this and still has no problem flirting/being affectionate under those circumstances, then he will take advantage of the circumstance - AND keep his girlfriend. Let him know that you are sorry, but that you have to stop and when he finds himself single - then, and only then will you go out with him. If you are content with him seeing you behind his girlfriend's back, with the understanding that chances are you'll probably never be more than a side item to him - then continue what you are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 Get that book about he`s just not that into you. Pretty much covers it. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 how do you know when a guy doesnt seem serious about his girlfriend?? Hiya Chewy..... Yeah some guys are just weird in that respect...as girlfriends we hope our guys are going around telling everyone how lovely, and wonderful we are. He might have a real good relationship happening, you never know. BOTOH maybe he wants to keep the fact that he has a g/f secret cuz he's searching for greener pastures. Here's a story about what happened to me at work : the guy was a new employee and we hit if off really well. (oh, and let me reiterate for the 84,000 time - never date a co-worker!) So, to me it just seemed that I had made a new friend, and I was cool with that. Anyways, when talking about our lives, once or twice he would mention something his roommate said or did. Well, about a month goes by, and I casually made some reference to his romatic life...and I find out that he's actually living with his girlfriend - that's the ROOMMATE!!! I was appalled to hear a guy who's in a committed relationship, and living with her, descibe her as his ROOMATE! I would feel highly insulted if a guy referred to me like that. Rosalind Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 8, 2005 Share Posted August 8, 2005 Can you say "I can't go for that" Link to post Share on other sites
infinitehorizon Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 Is your cube next to his and does your name start with an "L"? When were you hired? recently like a month or two ago? If you are the person that I think you are, he really loves his gf but he screwed up big time relatively in the beginning of the relationship and as a result his gf has trust issues. Also, she has broken up with him twice granted both times were for less than 20 minutes. He is scared that she will leave him for good when she goes back to college in the fall (which is on the east coast - far away from here). I must tell you that he loves her infinitely but her expectations of him are impossible for a guy like him (perhaps not but thus far it has been impossible). She is also drop dead gorgeous and so perfect and it seems to me that she is unable to understand that he is only human and a guy. If you are who I think you are, he is only keeping you around just in case she ends it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chewybrwn Posted August 9, 2005 Author Share Posted August 9, 2005 thats great....but yeah....im definetly not this person.... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 When he DOESN'T have a Girlfriend. When he DOESN'T live with another Girl. When he DOESN'T have an exlcusive relationship with another Girl. When he IS available to date or start another relationship with someone (You) IMO it doesn't matter IF someone is happily married or not happily married... OR if someone is serious about the person they are with or not serious... IF both parties have agreed to an EXCLUSIVE relationship then that makes them unavailable regardless. I wouldn't waste time in trying to measure how much this Guys Girlfriend means to him... Unless or Until he isn't with his Girlfriend any longer I would determine that to mean he is serious ENOUGH about her and move on. My 2 Cent's Link to post Share on other sites
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