d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Is it rude of her to not even acknowledge any of the texts? No. You two are broken up. You're reaching out after you have been drinking. It's smart of her to ignore you. It's actually rude of you to keep chasing someone who doesn't want you, especially in this drunken manner. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 No, she's not being rude. She's being smart. Being on the receiving end of a drunken text/phone call/any sort of communication is a huge turnoff. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Yes I have deleted it this morning, unfortunately it's an easy number to remember so I'll have to work hard not to. Is it rude of her to not even acknowledge any of the texts? You're broken up she owes you no response. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 You have much to learn. If there was any chance at all in this your actions probably destroyed that. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 No, she is not being rude. She is being wise. She has already made it clear that she isn't coming back, and while I get you are upset, she really shouldn't need to keep repeating herself. She is sending you the message that she wants you to stop and she doesn't want to hear things like this from you. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 YOU are 35, you can't just keep texting this woman when you are drunk like you are still in high school or college. She didn't see a future with you in it, and this immature stuff is not helping your cause any. She will not be at all impressed and she showed her displeasure by ignoring you completely. She actually made it very plain why she broke up with you. I know it is hard, but you have to start accepting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bromeo Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Here's the thing to remember. If she was replying, playing hot/cold, or giving any sort of communication, that would be one thing. Letting someone know you miss and think about them is completely fine, overdoing it is where the troubles start. One time isn't chasing, chasing is what I did until I learned. Two things will happen. You will either get your feelings spit roasted over time and learn that way, as I did. Or, you can take the communities advice here. And yes, you are broken up and she doesn't owe you anything. And yes, ignoring is rude. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 One time isn't chasing, chasing is what I did until I learned. He did the same thing last weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Yes I have deleted it this morning, unfortunately it's an easy number to remember so I'll have to work hard not to. Is it rude of her to not even acknowledge any of the texts? It hurts but I think she's doing the right thing by sending a message thst she's not wanting to lead u on and reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rko28 Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 I've deleted her number. So along with pictures, messages and all social media, she's now gone. Nothing left Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I've deleted her number. So along with pictures, messages and all social media, she's now gone. Nothing left Smart thing to do. An even smarter thing is to stay on that path. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
la74219 Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I did the same thing over and over and over. The games never seemed to end, and I kept chasing. Until finally she got tired of it, and blocked me. I blocked her too. A week later she reached out to me on social media. The games started again, but this time I wised up. I advised her that while I'm okay with being civil and mature, I do not wish to speak to or see her. That's where I'm at. Listen to the people here when they tell you to accept it, and move forward. Whether you and her cross paths again in the future is irrelevant. Put the pieces of your life back together, and get the healing process started. Don't let the process drag on for as long as it did for me, and a lot of others here. It hurts now, but it'll hurt a lot more the longer it goes on. Respect yourself, and don't put yourself through this heartache any longer. Hang in there man. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rko28 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 Thanks everyone. Another day and another dream, this time we got back together and she was asking me to the wedding next Saturday. I'm thinking/hoping that as soon as Saturday is over things will improve, her sisters wedding was like THE big event for us and one we were both looking forward to, it's all her brother talks about in work. I'm gutted I won't be there with them and this is the last event that we had planned before the break up, so in some ways after Saturday I won't know what she is up to and doing with her life. Hopefully that's a good thing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Thanks everyone. Another day and another dream, this time we got back together and she was asking me to the wedding next Saturday. I'm thinking/hoping that as soon as Saturday is over things will improve, her sisters wedding was like THE big event for us and one we were both looking forward to, it's all her brother talks about in work. I'm gutted I won't be there with them and this is the last event that we had planned before the break up, so in some ways after Saturday I won't know what she is up to and doing with her life. Hopefully that's a good thing it really sucks. I had holidays planned with my ex but he chose to let that go. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Make sure you have alternate plans this Saturday, OP. You will need something to keep your mind distracted. You will likely feel a little better after Saturday passes and there isn't that one reminder hanging over your head anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Midnight.Amber Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 (edited) Smart thing to do. An even smarter thing is to stay on that path. And even smarter to lay off the booze too until you have better moved on. Or at least until you have a better handle on your emotions. Especially since you have her number memorized. I'm sorry you're hurting though. Edited July 3, 2017 by Midnight.Amber Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rko28 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 I have plans for Saturday with my friends for the whole day, they've been great throughout it all. Hope it's not coming across like I have an alcohol problem, it's just been 2 social events, a wedding and a festival, I don't drink at home or anything to cope with the feelings. I just don't know why I'm not feeling any better, it will be a month this week and I'm still pining for her like it's the 1st few days Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I just don't know why I'm not feeling any better, it will be a month this week and I'm still pining for her like it's the 1st few days Because you keep putting yourself back to square 1 by breaking NC. I'd recommend giving up the booze for a little while. Whether you have a problem or not. It seems that when you get drunk you pine for your ex and feel bad. Giving it up for a while will make you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rko28 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 Because you keep putting yourself back to square 1 by breaking NC. I'd recommend giving up the booze for a little while. Whether you have a problem or not. It seems that when you get drunk you pine for your ex and feel bad. Giving it up for a while will make you feel better. I've gone around 7-10 days at a time before breaking NC, it feels just as bad during these periods as when messaging her. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I've gone around 7-10 days at a time before breaking NC Exactly my point. You broke it after 7-10 days which is much too soon, and you're right back to square 1. Try sticking to it for 30 days, then report back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rko28 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 I understand, but apart that from the eating normal I don't even think I've moved from square one. So a month of NC and I'll feel better? Link to post Share on other sites
JJNY Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 So a month of NC and I'll feel better? There's no timeline my friend. You may not. But you'll be a month closer. Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Why was her number even in your phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I understand, but apart that from the eating normal I don't even think I've moved from square one. So a month of NC and I'll feel better? Slightly. NC isn't an instant cure to a broken heart. In fact, some people have gone 2 years NC and still feel like it was just yesterday. I've moved on from my ex to another woman, who is far better. I hardly even think of my ex these days because my mind is pre-occupied, but the world is filled with things that will remind you of them. When I do, I feel bad about WHAT happened, but I'm no longer interested in her. 9 months post-breakup and 5 months strict NC (though she spies on my social media all the time. I think that may have ended and she entered her own NC after checking it 50 times a day after hearing I have somebody else). Before I found this new person, it got better but she still occupied my mind often. Time doesn't really heal all wounds. You have to put in the work. If you're sitting around moping all day you'll be stuck. You have to start finding happiness within yourself. A lot of the times NC gives you that opportunity, because eventually we decide for ourselves that we're tired as hell about being depressed and miserable and want to do things to make us smile again. We start getting attached to those things and move on. That's how it works. There is no time frame. Some people move on instantly. Others move on years later. I thought I'd never move on, but yet here I am and I clearly see my ex as someone I don't want in my life because she's off the pedestal and in the trash. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rko28 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 Thanks for that great post. I am feeling fed up about thinking about it all to be honest, but then when I find I haven't thought about it for a while I feel almost sad, like I'm forgetting her and then the pain hits hard in the chest. A good friend of mine once said to me "you never truely move on from someone until you meet the next one" - I think that is true but I can't even get my Head around going on a date with someone new or even the motivation to speak to any. Link to post Share on other sites
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