How do you know you found the one?

[guy45]

I have so many regrets when it comes to women. I've had several opportunities to go out with some very attractive women in the past but passed, because I always assumed there's someone better out there for me.

 

Now their all pretty much married.

 

How can I be certain that I should date someone? Because honestly I'll never find a perfect match, and chances are few.

[RecentChange]

So you reject them before you have even dated them?

 

You don't know if they are "the one" when you first meet them..... That is what dating is for.

[BaileyB]

There is no such thing as a "perfect match." If that's what you are looking for, you will be sadly disappointed.

 

And, you can't possibly know which girl is "the one" without dating her. Besides, it is all about the journey... That's all the fun.

[basil67]

If you thought you could do better without even knowing them, they must have had some significant and obvious issues. Why did you reject them?

 

I agree with what has been written so far. You won't know if someone is a good person to date unless you've spent time with them. And there's no such thing as a perfect match. There are some mighty good matches but nothing in life is perfect.

[guy45]

Just typical grass is greener problem I'm guessing. This was several years ago. Usually I'm faced with the situation of being able to date someone I find attractive and not attractive at the same time. The one's I do find without fault are usually out of my league.

[basil67]

Just typical grass is greener problem I'm guessing. This was several years ago. Usually I'm faced with the situation of being able to date someone I find attractive and not attractive at the same time. The one's I do find without fault are usually out of my league.

 

What do you mean by finding someone attractive but not attractive? Can I assume you're dating them for long enough to make a solid decision on seeing them again?

 

As for the ones who without fault. They say that if you think someone is perfect, then you don't know them properly. I rarely talk in generalisations, but I will this one time: EVERYONE has weird stuff going on. Nobody is perfect.

[Blanco]

I think he means the girls he can attract are superficially good looking but may have a noticeable flaw or two, which the OP eventually emphasizes and can't get past.

[guy45]

I think he means the girls he can attract are superficially good looking but may have a noticeable flaw or two, which the OP eventually emphasizes and can't get past.

 

Yeah this. It's never really been me being 100% sure

[basil67]

Yeah this. It's never really been me being 100% sure

 

Ok, I assume we're talking personality flaws here. So are these problems significant to the point of being deal breakers or are you looking for perfection?

 

Edited to add: in answer to your title question....you know you've found The One when you've spent a couple of years with them and you both still really enjoy each other's company and love. And there's respect and general compatibility.

[guy45]

Ok, I assume we're talking personality flaws here. So are these problems significant to the point of being deal breakers or are you looking for perfection?

 

Edited to add: in answer to your title question....you know you've found The One when you've spent a couple of years with them and you both still really enjoy each other's company and love. And there's respect and general compatibility.

Every characteristic including personality.

 

I agree, it takes time to prove they are right, probably a good reason why people shouldn't get married too fast.

[BaileyB]

Just typical grass is greener problem I'm guessing. The one's I do find without fault are usually out of my league.

 

If what you are doing isn't working for you, perhaps it's time to reconsider what you think is important and what you are looking for in a partner.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I have so many regrets when it comes to women. I've had several opportunities to go out with some very attractive women in the past but passed, because I always assumed there's someone better out there for me.

 

Now their all pretty much married.

 

How can I be certain that I should date someone? Because honestly I'll never find a perfect match, and chances are few.

 

There is no such thing as 'the one'.

 

Some people are born tragically deformed and will never experience romantic love. Other people are born physically beautiful and are brilliant and charismatic and die in car accidents at age 15 before they can experience love.

 

So, considering that ... do you think the world has predetermined a woman for you that is perfect in every way?

 

Now, the tricky question comes into place when you have found someone who makes you happy but feel there might be a better match out there.

 

I think that's why so many people cheat. They don't want to give up what they have, but at the same time imagine somebody better.

[guy45]

There is no such thing as 'the one'.

 

Some people are born tragically deformed and will never experience romantic love. Other people are born physically beautiful and are brilliant and charismatic and die in car accidents at age 15 before they can experience love.

 

So, considering that ... do you think the world has predetermined a woman for you that is perfect in every way?

 

Now, the tricky question comes into place when you have found someone who makes you happy but feel there might be a better match out there.

 

I think that's why so many people cheat. They don't want to give up what they have, but at the same time imagine somebody better.

 

I don't really believe there is a predestinied one out there for me...better yet I should have wrote the best I can get.

 

How do I know someone is the best I can get? And if they aren't the best how can I deal with it?

[BaileyB]

How do I know someone is the best I can get? And if they aren't the best how can I deal with it?

 

There is a certain arrogance to this comment that bothers me... Real love is not about you. It's not about taking, rather it is about giving. When you truly love someone, you will want to give of yourself to make their life better, easier, happier...

 

I will say, having dated many men before finding the one who I thought was "the best match for me..." My thought when I met him wasn't "Is this the best I can get?" Rather, it was "I am so grateful to have found this person. I am so excited to have him in my life."

 

I would suggest that you consider changing your perspective.

[Blanco]

I don't really believe there is a predestinied one out there for me...better yet I should have wrote the best I can get.

 

How do I know someone is the best I can get? And if they aren't the best how can I deal with it?

 

I don't think most people should settle, but the quest to have the absolute best of anything, whether it's a car, TV, or romantic partner, is an endeavor that can only end in disappointment.

[SammySammy]

There is no such thing as THE ONE.

 

Find a special someone you're compatible with, treats you well (and vice versa), devoted to fighting through the hard times, and someone you can grow with. Be happy.

 

If that doesn't work, find another special someone.

 

But, there is no the one because we all have flaws and situations change.

[guy45]

Thanks for the replies everyone, believe me I have the best of intentions and am still trying to figure out what exactly I'm looking for. Time flies by so quickly in life and I fear I may be searching for the wrong person.

[goldenlotus]

I think you mean you are searching for someone who is as attractive if you can get. If so, that's a rough road to trod. Honestly, there will always be someone better looking than your partner. Even if you married the best looking woman in the world someone would eventually supplant her. If at this moment, right now, the 'best you could get' walked into the room and fell into your arms, someone would get plastic surgery, change their hair, fix their teeth and suddenly be better looking and potentially interested in you. On the other side of that coin, you and all the other women out there are getting older, more wrinkly, less slender, less hair.

 

When you are always looking for someone better, you are missing out on your actual BEST match. Your best match isn't something you can see, it's something you have to experience. As you get to know someone, they should become more attractive to you. When you fall in love with someone, you tend to feel they are truly beautiful, more beautiful than any other woman out there because they are THE woman.

 

When you are dating someone who puts a smile on your face when you see her, when she inspires you to be the best you can be, when you feel you are the best version of yourself when you are with her, when days when she's away are never as good as when she's there, when you want her to be a part of your family and social circle, when you want to confide your secrets to her, when you can look at her and say that her personality, spirit, charisma, and attractiveness combined make her someone you never want to be away from, then you know she is The One. But you can't get to that point until you open yourself up to it.

 

Once you find her, there will always be someone more attractive, more talented, more intelligent, more fun. But the thing is, it won't matter. You won't want them...because they aren't HER.

[Ieris]

... because I always assumed there's someone better out there for me.

 

So many women have done the same and passed on some good guys. The someone better did not come along and the good guys have found someone else to marry so the women have to settle for something less than what was on offer in the first place or end up alone. A very common story...

 

There are people who settle with what they can get and then there are those who won't settle for anything less. If you don't want to wound up alone then you need to be flexible with your approach but if you're fine being solo forever then just relax and see what comes by.

[GunslingerRoland]

Perfect people don't exist. If you only want to date flawless people contact Google and see if they can make you a robot. If you want to date human's you'll have to accept flaws of the physical, mental, emotional and social natures.

[thefooloftheyear]

Give her "the test",,,,

 

 

 

 

TFY

[Zul]

I have so many regrets when it comes to women. I've had several opportunities to go out with some very attractive women in the past but passed, because I always assumed there's someone better out there for me.

 

Now their all pretty much married.

 

How can I be certain that I should date someone? Because honestly I'll never find a perfect match, and chances are few.

 

I used to think there was "The One"... I'll tell you the truth, there isn't "one". You need to find someone who has imperfections that you find perfect in your eyes. Someone you know day in and out that no matter what you will always smile when you think about them. I have NEVER found "The One" because there isn't "The One". There will always be someone better looking, skinnier, funnier, more active, nicer etc... You need to find the person who you like, and realize that that person may become the best at everything you're looking for.

 

Good luck, you'll know when you find them

[Mysterio]

I personally think that most people are going to go in and out of Relationships and all Marriage and Kids are going to do is slow it down. I am 46 and I have been single for 5 yrs.

 

Before that. I was single for a long time as well. There are some perks to being single that being attached does not have. I think I have more stronger friendships by being single, than if I was attached. I had the time to nurture those relationships.

 

I feel that I will meet that special lady in my life. She is coming. It will just be more Universal devine, than my major efforts. So I have chill out about dating and getting a romantic relationship with a woman. I think you should do the same.

 

I notice a lot of men in their 20's too worried about the romance thing when it has yet to come to pass yet.

[Chilli]

Think your over thinking it all by miles.

First of all , you should just really like her enough to wanna date her in the first place.

Couldn't get much simpler , there's nothing to do , you either do or you don't.

lt's only a date , right.

 

And then, for it to go any further after that, same , you should either really really really , and then really, want it to go further, to or you won't.

In my experience anything in between is usually a waste of time in the end.