Change in circumstances

[freengreen]

There will be atleast once in your life that you come across a person and think .."... right person but wrong timing"...every one does. But what makes us sensible is how we react to it, the ability to differentiate a faux alarm to a real one. Well not everyone is a pro in these ( ayleast not me), but toblearn quickly from experiences is a acheivement on its own...

 

Look closely through the fog, then decide..

[anika99]

Remember that "overall, slightly more likely" doesn't mean "all men love their sons a lot more than their daughters".

 

(I know some of you already know that but repeating for those to whom it isn't obvious)

 

As a resident feminist I'm required to chime in and defend men lol

 

Yes and some women actually prefer their sons over their daughters. I know my mom loved me but not as much as she loved my brothers.

 

However it seems that almost all cheating men who want to be cake eaters say they can't leave their kids. If they don't have kids then they can't lose their dog or their house or their status or whatever their excuse of the day is. There's always something that they are helpless to walk away from.

[BluesPower]

Whoever answered that survey for the study are fools...

 

Ladies, what I am fixing to say is what is usually the case and should always be the case.

 

Children are a blessing in whatever form. It does not matter about gender. No man or women should ever abandon their children. The internet boards are full of men, and women, that have sacrificed their lives, stayed in bad marriages, worked crappy jobs, worked two jobs, in order to provide for their children.

 

Sons are special and truly need their father and those that don't have one usually don't fair as well. But when raising sons is different. You are there to teach them to be men, I am not their to be their friend, I am there to be their father. I am there to make sure they do the right thing and don't make the same mistakes I did.

 

Daughters, like all children, need their fathers. But that relationship is so much different. She is my princess, she is my angle. She is to be treasured like no one else.

 

She gets whatever she wants. And yes I am there teach her to be an adult, but it really does not matter the same. I would take care of her until the day I died.

 

Yes it is a double standard, for sons and daughters.

 

Daughters are such a special love like no other...

[Overtaxed]

If you read my post you will see that my situation was not dissimilar to yours. It sounds as though your MM has already laid his cards on the table in respect to what he has and he doesn't want to lose it. Why should he, he has the best of both worlds at the moment, doesn't he?

 

I, and probably the majority of people on this board felt exactly the same as you, but the end result is depressingly familiar - he is unlikely to do anything at all to change the current situation. If this comes to a head at home, he will chuck you under the bus until things calm down again, and then he will look to continue the relationship with you when he isn't being watched as closely. My xMM has told his wife before and packed bags, etc but has never quite has the gumption to walk out the door permanently. Its easier and less risky to stay where he is.

 

He is very very unlikely to leave her, you just need to focus on what is the best for you in the long run.

 

Bold above.

 

Your absolutely right. But you need to see it from the man's point of view as well, he's unwilling to change the situation because it's a great situation for him! He's having sex with 2 women regularly. He's getting ego and validation non-stop. He's keeping his house, his money, and his lifestyle and still has someone out there on the side to fulfill whatever is missing from his primary relationship (usually sex, but not always).

 

Of course he's unwilling to change things! Let me tell you, his wife is good at something. Something that he values. Could be home making, could be emotional closeness, could be taking care of the children. But there's something that she's good at that you're not, and, because of that, why on earth would he choose to throw that away when he can have both? It's a fools decision, not one that most men would have to think very long about.

 

Leave him, tell him to call you when he files his divorce papers. That'll tell you if he's serious. Expect to never hear from him again. Because, end of the day, most of the MM doing this are there "more". Typically sex, but could be something else. But it's MORE, it's not "replacement". Women typically act differently in A's, they are looking for a "new man". Men are looking for "another woman", not a new one.

[waterwoman]

Regarding male v female offspring impacting a husband's likelihood of cheating, it truly boggles my mind that any decent father of girls can treat his wife and OW with such contempt and not be put off by picturing his daughters in that position. Do some people simply lack the empathy or basic imagination to do that? I might ask DH that question later.

 

DD told us she was gay a few years ago and now is in an established relationship so at least she won't ever be betrayed by a husband

[ClassyTaste]

Whoever answered that survey for the study are fools...

 

Ladies, what I am fixing to say is what is usually the case and should always be the case.

 

Children are a blessing in whatever form. It does not matter about gender. No man or women should ever abandon their children. The internet boards are full of men, and women, that have sacrificed their lives, stayed in bad marriages, worked crappy jobs, worked two jobs, in order to provide for their children.

 

Sons are special and truly need their father and those that don't have one usually don't fair as well. But when raising sons is different. You are there to teach them to be men, I am not their to be their friend, I am there to be their father. I am there to make sure they do the right thing and don't make the same mistakes I did.

 

Daughters, like all children, need their fathers. But that relationship is so much different. She is my princess, she is my angle. She is to be treasured like no one else.

 

She gets whatever she wants. And yes I am there teach her to be an adult, but it really does not matter the same. I would take care of her until the day I died.

 

Yes it is a double standard, for sons and daughters.

 

Daughters are such a special love like no other...

 

This is a very sweet post Bluesman. I have read another thread and you have several lady suitors. You are quite the smooth talker (see above).

[ClassyTaste]

Regarding male v female offspring impacting a husband's likelihood of cheating, it truly boggles my mind that any decent father of girls can treat his wife and OW with such contempt and not be put off by picturing his daughters in that position. Do some people simply lack the empathy or basic imagination to do that? I might ask DH that question later.

 

DD told us she was gay a few years ago and now is in an established relationship so at least she won't ever be betrayed by a husband

 

 

The ability to place each person in their place, compartmentalize. I would think men being around men would understand how awful men can be regarding women in general, so protecting their female offspring would weigh as heavily as their male offspring. I do understand that many do, but apparently a majority fail to bond with their daughters as they do their sons or feel they need a father figure.

Edited July 16, 2017 by ClassyTaste

[Jersey born raised]

My 3 brothers had a unique bond with my dad. My sister had her own bond with him. In someways dad was the ultimate decision maker. But, for some reason mom laid down the law. Their was no appeal to Dad, his response was ask your mom or she right what don't you get. With his sons dad stood sure and steady. With sister in her teens, he ran to the hills. Of course he backed mom but dads always remember when they where that age and have a lot of problems with that - so they keep their mouth shut.

 

Occasionally watched last man standing. Loved his "rants" for pod cast. They left me laughing at myself. Anyway his way of handling befriends was to meet them in his study with all the guns on the wall. Taking time to discuss each one walk out smiling and then running to the hills, letting his wife handle it.

[Jersey born raised]

Classy, when you get PM I will send you one that will make you laugh about my sister and my dad.