Why I can't I get a second chance

[Ronjack40]

Hello everyone, I've been in a relationship for 5 months with this female and she broke it off almost 2 months. She says she won't allow herself to give her another chance with me for a new us because when she gave her exes another chance it didn't work out.

 

Now we've been texting back and fourth the whole time and I'm showing her that I addressed the issue that brought us to break up and always speak positive in our messages but she is not biting it one bit. Soon as I say something negative she is quick to respond. I asked her so the positive things I say help you to get over me? She replied no. Ignoring you help me to get over you. She say she is still attracted to me but she also say she trying to forget me and move on and that I should do the same as well. I just can't though.

 

I love her like i love my children. I mean I will do any and everything for this woman. I've cried everyday and night lost time at work lose sleep lost weight over this. Not because of the breakup but solely because she is focused on the negative that I will hurt her again like the her exes did when she took them back. Why she won't think of the positive as well?

 

She never hint that she think about the positive if she gives us another chance she is just stuck on not giving us another chance. I mean I love her so much and she know this. I came up with every option suggesting not to be in a full blown relationship but let's start off as friends and work our way up. Now she is like completely ignoring me.

 

I say Gd morning to her,tell her to be sure to drink water, ask her how is doing, etc etc but I get no answer to those questions no good morning or nothing and it hurts like so baaaad. Like the pain is so bad inside of me it's crazy.

 

I just want her back. Only if she gives me the chance we could be better friends and lovers because she will see, know and belief I will never betray her love her all in any way. Help me please to get some understanding of it all.

Edited July 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[elaine567]

I'm showing her that I addressed the issue that brought us to break up.

 

What was the issue?

[SammySammy]

That's her prerogative.

 

She doesn't owe you a second chance and has the right to move on with her life.

[Ronjack40]

Yes I know that. It's not about me getting the second chance it's about her.

[Ronjack40]

Going back and forth with my ex. She knew I was she even allowed me a few times to call her and message her from her phone as well but I told her i finished with my ex. She went out with her friend then the next day she came back packing her things and left.

[ClassyTaste]

Going back and forth with my ex. She knew I was she even allowed me a few times to call her and message her from her phone as well but I told her i finished with my ex. She went out with her friend then the next day she came back packing her things and left.

 

 

Why would she degrade herself by going back to a man who kept leaving her to go back to his ex?

[Bastile]

I love her like i love my children.

 

That's completely unacceptable. Pull yourself together. Get a grip.

 

She's a bird you went out with for a few months. She's not your children, for goodness sake. You can replace her.

 

Your "second chance" is the next fine woman that you go out with, taking the things you learnt from this experience into the next. That's how life works.

[Ronjack40]

Yeah but she allowed me. She was down with it also is what I'm saying.

So now that the ex is completely over why she can't see I'm all about her and will not do anything to hurt her.

[Ronjack40]

Yes I understand that but I just want to prove to her I am worthy of a second chance at love with her. I mean we were so compatible. It's crazy how she could just give up and only see the negative instead of the positive.

[SammySammy]

Yes I know that. It's not about me getting the second chance it's about her.

 

If it is about her, then respect her wishes and leave her alone. Stay out of her life.

[Ronjack40]

Uuuugh, it's so hard to when you love and she loves you but she's being stubborn.

[ExpatInItaly]

She's not being stubborn, she's being smart. I would not stick around with a guy who had an ex in the picture either. The point is not that you thought she was okay with it, but that you didn't think to not do it in the first place. She shouldn't have had to give you the okay to begin with; you should have cut that off when you started dating her. That is the problem, I imagine. You didn't just do so on your own volition.

 

Saying you love her like you love your own children and reminding her to drink water is plain weird - women want a partner, not a Daddy. So please lay off that. It's so cringe-worthy and self-righteous.

 

The bottom line here is that you can't always get what you want, when you want. She doesn't want to be with you and wants you to move on. Please listen to her before you annoy her to the point of being blocked.

[elaine567]

I am afraid it sounds like the last straw broke the camel's back.

You messing about with your ex and even using your gfs phone to contact her was never gong to end well, was it?

What were you thinking of?

 

As you are finding out positives do not usually overcome negatives.

YOU treated her bad, she wants nothing more to do with you, so you have to listen to her.

 

Keep your ex out of your next relationship.

[Bastile]

Yes I understand that but I just want to prove to her I am worthy of a second chance at love with her. I mean we were so compatible. It's crazy how she could just give up and only see the negative instead of the positive.

 

Pardon me. My attention was split between reading this and other things, so I missed the point of you going back and forth with your ex.

 

You seem very unstable mate, to be honest with you. That isn't good for long-term relationships. You need to sort yourself out.

 

And you probably shouldn't enter anything exclusive until you do. Not with this woman, or anyone.

[Marc878]

You chase they move farther away. You don't get it.

[Ronjack40]

Daaaamn, uuuuugh this sucks!!!

[Bastile]

Daaaamn, uuuuugh this sucks!!!

 

Now then

 

You didn't want her when you had her. Then when she walks, you value her as much as your children?

 

It's very histrionic. And If you had perspective, I think you'd understand that she did right by walking.

 

Take it on the chin, and work on yourself.

[basil67]

You chase they move farther away. You don't get it.

 

And you stop chasing and they breathe a sigh of relief that you're gone.

 

Either way, there is no way to get back someone who doesn't want to try again. It's time to accept that this relationship is over.

[Little-Wolf]

Yeah but she allowed me. She was down with it also is what I'm saying.

So now that the ex is completely over why she can't see I'm all about her and will not do anything to hurt her.

 

Sounds like you had your cake and wanted to eat it as well.

 

I don't blame her for leaving. I can't even begin to imagine how hurt I would feel if my ex used MY PHONE to contact his ex. I'd be disgusted and repulsed with him and that would be that.

 

Things went t*ts up with your ex, and now this woman who stood by you through this BS is the love of your life? You should have realized that sooner instead of acting like a fool.

 

Be the good person for once and walk away. She owes you nothing and probably needs time to repair her destroyed self esteem.

[preraph]

She doesn't love you. Maybe she did once, but she now realizes she does not. So you trying to be perfect and there for her is a waste of your time (and too little too late) and you need to just let her go and move on. You can't MAKE someone love or want you. I'm sorry.