my husband lied to me and when i called him on it, he said to leave, find better man

[sokidsfirst]

I need some advice. My new husband left me last fall over a ridiculous circumstance/misunderstanding. I begged for weeks for him to realize that he had things all wrong. He knew — I know he knew - but he wanted an excuse to leave imo.

 

Fast forward 2 months of no contact and he texted me. We shortly got back together. And he told me he was with no other women. and I told him I went on 2 bad dates and I was never w another guy. He told me that if he found out differently, he would walk away from my lying ass. I said fine!

 

Now, 6 months later, i found out he was with another woman. He went on 2 trips with her in 2 months! I don’t know how they broke up but i have concrete evidence they were together out of town.

 

This just happened to be during times that he said he was working freelance for companies. So when I confronted him he SWORE that he was working. He said that he never met another woman and I was not going to make him lie — to make me happy. He was WORKING.

 

I said well good. You have pay stubs to prove this? He said yes but he didn’t know where. I asked the name of the company. He couldn’t remember. The fight got bad and he told me if i didn’t believe him I should not be with him.

 

I said then show me SOMETHING that proves you were working. Please. It must be easy to prove me wrong?

 

He said no. he will not and he won’t ever be controlled by me and my demands. He said he has it but he will NOT show me and that I need to move on or don’t. But he’s sick of my **** and my games.

 

He questioned a trip i went on with a gf while we were broken up and I immediately dialed her number. I said ask whatever you like! I hide nothing! He said I was wasting my time. He will not talk to anyone now. He said they will cover for me.

 

When he came back I moved back in with him. He said he was never with anyone while we were broken up and he threatened that if I was and I lied he would disappear. I accepted that when we got back together. I didn’t lie. Now he’s lying and he’s telling me to go find a better man now if I think he’s a liar. What should I do?

[basil67]

Go find a better man. Seriously.

[BaileyB]

You need to separate again - for good. This relationship is really unhealthy.

[Purepony]

I'm a firm believer of getting back together if ... the circumstances make sense and well this makes no sense!

 

Break up for good he's a buffoon

[Scarlett.O'hara]

From what you have said, I think it is reasonable to assume that he was carrying on an affair before he left you the first time, which explains why he projecting his guilty conscience on you.

 

All the lying, gas lighting, projection, threatening to leave, and refusing to answer even the simplest question is so common, it's like they are all reading from the same cheaters handbook.

 

I urge you to take a look at the infidelity section. I think you will find eerie similarities between his behavior and other people's cheating spouses.