My boss is not fan of my husband and they are supposed to see each other tomorrow!

[sokidsfirst]

My new husband and I have had fireworks in our relationship. We broke up and there were police involved. No one was really at fault but the neighbors called and people started talking. Unfortunately, my bosses got wind of it. So much so - when my husband showed up at work once, they got security to protect me.

 

They overreacted, but they were so helpful trying to protect me.

 

We are now back together. I've hid this for 6 months from them. I have a work conference that I must attend and he is going to travel with me. he is staying in the hotel and wants to go to the dinners. I feel that if he is seen around there, but bosses will not look fondly upon me. I already feel my job is on the line.

 

I have a girlfriend who says I should just show him off proudly and pretend that everything is fine. But, I don't know if that is smart? I have a family member who says if I take him and do that I will be on the edge of losing my job for being so weak and having poor judgement.

 

Objectively -- how would you deal with this?

[basil67]

Can you trust him 100% to not be domineering, rude or make a scene? If not, then he should not attend anything where he may embarrass you or make your workmates feel uncomfortable.

 

If you can trust him, then take him to other events where spouses are invited. If no other spouses are invited, then I would say that his attendance would not be wanted or appreciated.

 

As for the girlfriend who says you should show him off proudly....Does she know the full story of your marriage? I'm not sure how one could be proud of a man like your husband.

[sokidsfirst]

the problem is i am 'working' the events where spouses might attend. So, I feel very uncomfortable.

 

I thought it would be best to not go to work dinners and go to dinner alone w him. But thenhe gets mad and says i'm hiding him.

 

He is not happy no matter what i do but certainly telling him not to come is far the worst...

[BaileyB]

Based on what you wrote in you other thread, I would keep the job and lose the husband....

[basil67]

the problem is i am 'working' the events where spouses might attend. So, I feel very uncomfortable.

 

I thought it would be best to not go to work dinners and go to dinner alone w him. But thenhe gets mad and says i'm hiding him.

 

He is not happy no matter what i do but certainly telling him not to come is far the worst...

 

Your story sounds really familiar. Did you used to post under a different name?

 

Did your husband insist on attending the conference with you or did you want him to come along? If your husband insisted in coming, what would have happened if you said "no"?