What does attraction mean to women/men?

[Andy_K]

And, I've met men who were 7's and became 10's in my mind after they opened their mouths.

 

Really long tongue?

[mikeylo]

I've met men who were 10's until they opened their mouths. And, I've met men who were 7's and became 10's in my mind after they opened their mouths.

 

True. Same for women.

 

Physical attraction is just part of initial interest. After that it's personality that will turn it into relationship or not and become long term or not.

[thefooloftheyear]

True. Same for women.

 

Physical attraction is just part of initial interest. After that it's personality that will turn it into relationship or not and become long term or not.

 

Ok...now what level of personality defect would kill this for you?? Murderer?? Psychotic??

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFuLaNsMTrk

 

:laugh:

 

TFY

[somanymistakes]

Ok...now what level of personality defect would kill this for you?? Murderer?? Psychotic??

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFuLaNsMTrk

 

:laugh:

 

TFY

 

Being boring, ditzy, and having an irritating voice?

 

(I am not saying that the lady in question is any of those things! Just that FOR ME that would pretty quickly counterbalance the curves. Of course I'm not primarily into ladies anyway so! I just wanted to make the joke that some people, you'd rather look at than talk to!)

[knabe]

I find most people to be attractive on some level, but it takes a lot for me to be attracted.

I don't pay much interest to a guy's physical appearance; I'm more drawn to how he sees the world and his place in it, and how he relates to his family, friends or his colleagues. A guy's political convictions or general laid back attitude are far more appealing to me than the colour of his eyes or the size of his muscles.

 

I'm this way as well. I may see someone who is very handsome to me across a room and think "hubba hubba!" But that just means I think the package is attractive, like the way I think Monet's painting are beautiful or Dean's 1969 Impala is hot. It's a reaction to an aesthetically pleasing image.

 

Attraction to a person has to do with what happens AFTER I see them and we engage. Are they approachable, positive, confident and friendly? Do they seem to have a more bouyant rather than dismal view of life? Are they quick witted and can they converse? Is he a natural gentleman?

 

If he is THOSE things, then even if I didn't go "hubba hubba" when he walked in, I could be attracted to him.

 

A man who is whiny, negative, or has a chip on his shoulder is an instant turnoff, even if he looks like an Adonis.

[knabe]

Oddly enough, I'm never really attracted to a woman until I hear her voice. Sure, there are women who are good-looking, but it doesn't morph into an attraction until I hear them speak.

 

Yeah, kind of like this....

 

 

But I can relate. A rich, deep voice makes my knees melt. My fiance's deep voice when he says "darlin" with that touch of drawl....sigh.....

[bradt93]

Oddly enough, I'm never really attracted to a woman until I hear her voice. Sure, there are women who are good-looking, but it doesn't morph into an attraction until I hear them speak.

Try hearing a hillbilly Tennessee accent on a woman, it's a huge turn off for me.

[bradt93]

When I vacationed in California, I loved the women's voices there. I don't know maybe because they can speak proper grammar lol.

[MonkeyLogic]

My understanding is that for women it's more holistic and for men it's mostly looks based. But of course there are individual differences. For women that are more looks based, I think they really struggle with dating and relationships...

[No_Go]

For me is exactly the opposite. I get attracted to personality first and THEN check the looks. It is something that I picked up very early on I think and it is so strong that unless I am into the guy I don't perceive his looks at all - literally can't give a description even after I've spend time around him (it is like I've been talking to the guy for 2 hours and have no memory about how his face looks like - I remember just the siluette if anything). If I'm once attracted - I remember very fine details about the guy's appearance and start developing attraction to his features.

 

I don't know if that's some imprint or what but it is something that has always been that way for me.

 

There is absolutely no other way to be attracted to someone beyond looks at first. PERIOD. And, yes all women are different because all people are different. And, if I told you that most women like men with dark hair and green eyes, are you going to die your light hair and get colored contacts?

 

I've met men who were 10's until they opened their mouths. And, I've met men who were 7's and became 10's in my mind after they opened their mouths.

 

I say that unless a man or a woman doesn't completely turn a person off at first blush, I'd give them a chance at least.

[Bastile]

For me is exactly the opposite. I get attracted to personality first and THEN check the looks. It is something that I picked up very early on I think and it is so strong that unless I am into the guy I don't perceive his looks at all - literally can't give a description even after I've spend time around him (it is like I've been talking to the guy for 2 hours and have no memory about how his face looks like - I remember just the siluette if anything). If I'm once attracted - I remember very fine details about the guy's appearance and start developing attraction to his features.

 

I don't know if that's some imprint or what but it is something that has always been that way for me.

 

Feminine women do not prioritize looks. I keep saying it.

 

When I get a number, no woman is remembering what I look like after it. She's remembering my vibe/energy. That's what lingers on a woman.

 

I've seen the massive massive difference in results when my energy has been great, and when it's been piss poor. On the street, on dates, over messaging, etc.

 

Vibe/energy is literally the most important thing a man has. That's his biggest asset. More than looks, money, or anything else.

 

No idea why no one listens to that. Even experienced guys ignore that.

[littleblackheart]

I get attracted to personality first and THEN check the looks.

 

That's the case for me too. That's not to say looks don't matter (they do, at least for me and I'd feel like a hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge that) but it's not the first thing that's attracting me to a man, and it's not a priority.

[No_Go]

Of course they matter, I agree. But they matter if and only if the context allows them to.

 

That's the case for me too. That's not to say looks don't matter (they do, at least for me and I'd feel like a hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge that) but it's not the first thing that's attracting me to a man, and it's not a priority.

[bradt93]

Yea, I try to avoid the preppy girls, because their is no way they would date someone is nerd like, what I mean by that is an intelligent guy.

[knabe]

When I vacationed in California, I loved the women's voices there. I don't know maybe because they can speak proper grammar lol.

 

I am chuckling in my husky southern way and positing the high likelihood that my understanding of grammar is better than yours. Which is absolutely on topic because I do not find condescension attractive.

[bradt93]

I am chuckling in my husky southern way and positing the high likelihood that my understanding of grammar is better than yours. Which is absolutely on topic because I do not find condescension attractive.

Okay, whatever.

[Mysterio]

I tend to link kindness and softness together when I think of romantic attraction. I also like a woman that puts some pisass in her dress aperance. Another turn on is how she reacts to me, and is playful and flirtatious with me.

 

I am not attracted to hard traits. The may be my friend, never a romantic prospects.