alec007 Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Every time I ask him to go out somewhere e.g. a bar, cinema or just on a night out, he refuses, gives me stupid excuses such as 'there's no point of going, we won't do anything interesting' etc etc. But 80 percent of the time, when he's outside, it's to hang around with people aged 11-16 years old. I just find it really weird, he's 24 years old and he prefers to go to hang around with them. Seems to engage in really immature activities and displays a really immature attitude towards life. Sure it's ok to let yourself loose once in a while, but at the age of 24 I don't think it's healthy to spend most of your time with teenagers. E.g. he prank calls restaurants and department stores a, with his teenage friends. Also, prank calls escorts, once again with his teenage friends. I've been friends with this guy for a very long time, but I seem to be losing any commonality with him. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Honestly, he just sounds like he has arrested development. Now a lot of pedophiles have arrested development, but not everyone with arrested development is a pedophile by any stretch of the imagination. As long as you know of nothing inappropriate going on sexually between him and these kids, it's really just up to the parents to set the boundaries. Arrested development can come from childhood trauma or abuse or anything that kind of robbed someone of their childhood, like a prolonged illness or, like Michael Jackson, being a rock star from the time he could walk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alec007 Posted July 17, 2017 Author Share Posted July 17, 2017 Honestly, he just sounds like he has arrested development. Now a lot of pedophiles have arrested development, but not everyone with arrested development is a pedophile by any stretch of the imagination. As long as you know of nothing inappropriate going on sexually between him and these kids, it's really just up to the parents to set the boundaries. Arrested development can come from childhood trauma or abuse or anything that kind of robbed someone of their childhood, like a prolonged illness or, like Michael Jackson, being a rock star from the time he could walk. It's nothing sexual at all, he is sexually attracted to women his age, so that's ok. It's just the fact that we would prefer to do things with teenagers, which I find concerning. I don't understand why. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Ok, maybe if it was like 16-19 year old's he was hanging out with, it would only be slightly weird, but 11-16 year olds? I would flip if I found out my child at 11 or 12 years old had a friend that was 24. There is something wrong on both sides if a child has that much in common with an adult that they can hang out as friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 It's nothing sexual at all, he is sexually attracted to women his age, so that's ok. It's just the fact that we would prefer to do things with teenagers, which I find concerning. I don't understand why. Arrested development. They get stuck at a certain level of maturity because of something that happened to them. It happens in different areas of their life. Like maybe they're mature in one are like employment but not in their daily routine. In yours, he dates age appropriate women but he's a little kid inside. And sadly some of those people think they're actually superior because they still think like kids and think there's no work to be done about it. I guess the most common thing you see are people who never transition from their childhood interests to adult interests, like grown women obsessed with Disney, middle aged guys who still act like little boys and take no responsibility. One of the earliest things I learned that I thought was interesting and has proved to be true over and over is a sign of former abuse or arrested development is a woman who uses a "little girl" voice or a whisper. I've come across a few of these and they have always had past abuse of some type. They have arrested development and their voice is their voice from back at the time of the abuse. Whoever marries your friend is going to be sadly disappointed that he will be just another child and not the leader/father she had hoped. Link to post Share on other sites
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