"part time" open relationship

[roster212]

Me and this girl, whos more than a friend. We are seriously into eachother, however we both know eachothers past. Both of our past relationships ended with us cheating on the other person. We are both guilty yet both worried. We have a track record that points to us cheating on eachother in the future.

 

We are looking for ideas that would help us combat that. Not just promising to be monogomous....cause that works so well. Also not being obviously open. Does anyone else live in a relationship like this where you can be open "part time" and both partners agree? More or less, cheating with permission?

 

The easy thing to do would be to ask for permission...but i dont think i would want to know, and i dont think she would want to know. We both suspect the other might, but how do you get away with it without cheating. Is it possible?

[preraph]

I mean, you can ask her if she wants to date without any commitment and agree to multidate. You certainly wouldn't want to live together and do that or have kids. And you wouldn't ever want to share your exploits with each other, because one or both of you will still be jealous even though you're both doing it.

[somanymistakes]

If you can't talk to each other about your other dates without jealousy, then non-monogamy isn't going to work for you either. Even if you both agree to "don't ask, don't tell" eventually one of you will find out something that the other is up to and get upset and there will be just as much drama as if you were cheating normally.

 

Either you need to work on being actually faithful and monogamous, or you need to work on being able to face your actions, AND your partner's actions, with honesty and open communication.

 

That doesn't mean that you have to tell each other everything about everyone else you see, especially if you choose to be more of a FWB thing than a committed relationship, but you need to at the very least be comfortable with the knowledge that you two DO see other people sometimes.