Feel so

[Lostsoul1992]

So I found out my husband has been cheating on me for years. I have proof of online chats and sexting images. I'm not sure if he's ever had sex with anyone. Until I found a hair on his privates. No it's not my hair. It was a different color than mine. He said he didn't know where it came from but come on I'm not stupid. He showered for 3 days straight after work and after I found the hair. He never showers after work. I'm just wanting some advice on this. I'm I right or just jumping to conclusions because I'm turning something into nothing like he says?...

[LivingWaterPlease]

Since you have proof of online chats and sexting you're not jumping to conclusions. Cheating is right there before your eyes. If you're asking if he got physical with any of those he cheated with that's another question but I think it's probable.

[BaileyB]

Indeed, if you have proof of online chats and sexting then you are not jumping to conclusions. When you first mentioned the hair, I was a little sceptical... But, it's probably fair to assume something physical is happening given the fact that he has now begun to wash the evidence off when he comes home every night. That is strange and suspicious behavior.

 

I'm very sorry. What are you going to do about this discovery?

[pheonixrisen]

1.chatting /sexting is already cheating .

 

2.how does ones hair get into another private area

 

Perhaps take a look into phone bills/put a VAR in his car to see what's going on are you crazy ? Or he is really up to no good !

[Ahurtgirl]

People cheat at work over lunch all the time. Private bathrooms, their cars, in their office if it's private, etc. You might want to stop in over his lunch hour unannounced a couple times. Remember, smart people ignore rather than being dramatic about it once you learn the truth. Once a cheater, always a cheater so you need to decide if you can accept this flaw of his or not.

[stillafool]

I different color hair on his privates, showering as soon as he gets home and online chats are pretty good proof that he's cheating. What are you going to do?

[jenkins95]

I do think that there is a lot to be concerned about here.

 

I would just say not to get too hung up on the hair in isolation. I went out for a break yesterday and found a stray hair on my shirt. It definitely wasn't mine or my wife's or kids... And I'm definitely not having an affair (been there, done that and NEVER again). I just blew it away and forgot about it...until i read this post. Hairs do just have a habit of sticking to things and goodness knows where they originally came from. Mind you, in my case it was a shirt, not underwear.

 

The fact is, the chatting/texting IS already cheating. The question is, did it ever go physical? This hair alone is a red flag, but not enough to prove anything on its own IMO.

[ericsvibe]

I can tell you from experience, that the sexting is cheating. He wants to be with these other women. He just hasn't gotten the ability to pull it off YET! It will happen if it hasn't already.

 

 

You need to sit down and have a talk, without distraction. You need to find out why, don't just accuse him. Because you already know about the sexting, you should ask him why does he do it, instead of coming to you. What is it about these other woman, what do they have that you don't? That is where you start. If you can get him to open up about that, then you can start working on the rest. Cheaters really do line up into a couple of groups.

 

 

#1. Not enough sex, or sex isn't good enough for some reason.

#2. No longer physically attracted to you.

#3. They feel their emotional needs aren't being met.

#4. They really want a divorce, but are too weak to just walk away, and need an exit affair.

 

 

You need to find out the reason, and see if it is something you can work through.

 

 

From one BS to another, I wish you well.

[Superchicken]

ericsvibe is correct..

 

 

It always starts as flirting, texting.

Then if unchecked, or controlled, it goes out of hand really fast.

Once you get that sense of being wanted in that way, its hard to stop from going to the next stage.

 

 

Like boiling a frog, if put into boiling water, it hops right out.

But, put it in cold water, and "Slowly" increase the temperature a little at a time, it boils itself alive without even knowing it.

 

 

I agree with others here, along with yourself, that he's gone one step too far.

Its now up to you as to what you want to do with him, your relationship and your future.

 

 

Your life has just changed !.

It will never be the same again, but, please remember, you had nothing to do with his actions.

 

 

 

 

Ted.

[RewindRomancer]

He's gaslighting you...trying to minimize the fact that you found another woman's hair in his pubic area (wth?). Even all that showering couldn't erase the evidence!

 

 

He defends the absurd and expects you to believe his bizarre explanations. It's crazy making. You doubt your sanity.

 

 

Lostsoul, let me confirm your gut feeling...your husband is cheating. My exH cheated on me for more than 20 years. Don't be me. Trust your instincts and take action.

 

 

Best of luck sweetie.

[misspalmy]

how come you havnt kick him out? looks like hes cheating be what you have said