damni Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 We have been dating for a month now, he was very full on at the start so I had to tell him to slow down basically, felt bit love bombed but what I noticed is even though his not been on the dating site since we met (you can check) I notice he adds random girls on FB, these are women who lives in our area...some are single and some are not but I just find it a strange thing to do. Is he using FB as a way to message women? if so he been lieing to me about me being the only girl he is interested in or seeing. This weekend we are meeting up, going to have dinner at his and I am guessing he is going put on the moves...but I obviously do not want sleep with him if he is still actively messaging other women especially as I feel he has been love bombing me at points though contact has declined this week. I just wonder how I should play this? I really do not want sleep with a guy just be dumped after, I had this happen before to me a couple of times but i dont want overreact either as im prone to that as well. Just bit advice be good Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 does his name start with a T? I knew a guy who did exactly this. Yeah, he's lying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author damni Posted July 20, 2017 Author Share Posted July 20, 2017 does his name start with a T? I knew a guy who did exactly this. Yeah, he's lying. Eurgh, another dud. I am going be single FOREVER, lol. How should I play it then? ask him about it and likely get an excuse "your only girl im seeing, interest in, its nothing!" Benefit of doubt? go on date but not sleep with him. Just end it (overreaction?) aaah. Tipping towards confronting him about it. Link to post Share on other sites
2005tahoe Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 We have been dating for a month now, he was very full on at the start so I had to tell him to slow down basically, felt bit love bombed but what I noticed is even though his not been on the dating site since we met (you can check) I notice he adds random girls on FB, these are women who lives in our area...some are single and some are not but I just find it a strange thing to do. Is he using FB as a way to message women? if so he been lieing to me about me being the only girl he is interested in or seeing. This weekend we are meeting up, going to have dinner at his and I am guessing he is going put on the moves...but I obviously do not want sleep with him if he is still actively messaging other women especially as I feel he has been love bombing me at points though contact has declined this week. I just wonder how I should play this? I really do not want sleep with a guy just be dumped after, I had this happen before to me a couple of times but i dont want overreact either as im prone to that as well. Just bit advice be good I just went through this with a girl I was dating for a month. I confronted her and asked her how she knew them, said she didnt, she knew she was busted and couldn't give me a reasonable explanation. So, I asked her why she added them, couldn't answer. I told her that she could get to know her newly added friends a little better since she was going to have more time without me in the picture because I wasn't dealing with it, so I dumped her. Dump him and move on, he is looking for a hookup 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Talk to him over dinner & express your concerns. If you don't like the answers, finish your meal & leave. Do not sit on the couch to watch a movie or snuggle. remain in a chair that can only be occupied by one person. If these random women are local that is a bigger problem then he just adds pretty girls he'll never meet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 (edited) He sounds like a player(wannabe)and I just dump those guys at first notice. Confrontation doesn't change the way a person feels/what they want unless it makes them run in the other direction! You can sit around and wait for him to change his ways. Or roll the dice and sleep with him and hope to keep his interest and "love bombing"(very doubtful) I am just not the type for either of those routes. Dump the chump Edited July 20, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 We have been dating for a month now Are you two exclusive? Have you talked about exclusivity or are you still just dating and seeing how things are going? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author damni Posted July 20, 2017 Author Share Posted July 20, 2017 Are you two exclusive? Have you talked about exclusivity or are you still just dating and seeing how things are going? We not said those words but he told me im the only one he is dating and seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 We not said those words but he told me im the only one he is dating and seeing. So go to dinner & ask about the FB adds. See what he says. Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyp32 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 does his name start with a T? I knew a guy who did exactly this. Yeah, he's lying. So weird! Was going to ask if his name started with a T! lol I'm with her, he's lying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 red flag....there is no point in dating someone that does things that make you feel you have to address them all the time. To the curb he goes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 So weird! Was going to ask if his name started with a T! lol I'm with her, he's lying. Yeah... we all know T. We have him on FB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 So go to dinner & ask about the FB adds. See what he says. Is it a good idea to confront a guy about this in his own home? She is at a great disadvantage and after a month doesn't know the guy at all really nor know how he will react. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 We not said those words but he told me im the only one he is dating and seeing. Yet you are also not the only woman he's allowing into his friend-corral, so while he's saying he's not be dating anyone else, he also appears to be one of those who compartmentalizes the women in his life. His name is "Knob"--every girl gets a turn. Yeah, have that dinner at a public place and probe for the truth and don't accept the okey-doke from him. If you can't proceed with him without constantly being in his FB business, then don't even waste your time trying to be with him. All it will do is turn you into someone you're not just to keep hold of him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Confront and he's just gonna deny. It makes you look insecure before you're even together too. He's just gonna say it's nothing and he's only seeing/talking to you. He won't mind lying because 1. You aren't together and he's ~technically ~ not doing anything wrong by keeping the door open with other girls 2. If he really cared in first place and truly saw it going somewhere at this point he wouldn't be doing that in open view where I hope he has the common sense to know you can see it. I know when you like a guy, despite some wariness you want to give the benefit of the doubt, . but I seriously recommend not sleeping until you get to know him more/become a couple if you can't handle him bouncing after. You're a month in and if he really feels as strongly as his words indicate that should be coming soon, right? When your rship is stable then you can ask questions about girls. He's just seeing you now, he is a free man and can add whomever he wishes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Yes he can do whatever he wants at this stage BUT it goes to show you your worth to him....about a 4 out of 10. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Yes he can do whatever he wants at this stage BUT it goes to show you your worth to him....about a 4 out of 10. He can? Is it cos they not exclusive? Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 Don't go to dinner at his place or sleep with him. So he definitely doesn't know these women? How many are we talking? I don't see any point in confronting him about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author damni Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 Don't go to dinner at his place or sleep with him. So he definitely doesn't know these women? How many are we talking? I don't see any point in confronting him about it. I think about 8...unlikely he knows them and funny their only women he adds. Contact has declined as well. You know im not going have it out in person or text, he would lie anyway and make me look insecure. I lost interest at this point, i dont trust his intentions and i had doubts at start anyway due his love bombing. Another one bites the dust... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 He can? Is it cos they not exclusive? Yes. Just because one is talking to someone doesn't mean that they are exclusive to that person. That is unrealistic. Only after a declaration of intent has been made does this shift over to expectations that accompany exclusivity. Not a moment before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I'm sooo glad I'm happily married before the age of FB. I would have never passed through the today's laundry list of social media do's and don'ts. I'd been single till I dried up and blew away. Just some of the things I've seen here in LS and else where... Didn't change his relationship status Hardly acknowledges me Messaged Ex Hides his page Didn't message me back for several hours Had an argument and he blocked me Friended someone he knows I don't like Friends to many girls Posted something to another girl Gawd I'm sure the list rambles on and on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I'm sooo glad I'm happily married before the age of FB. I would have never passed through the today's laundry list of social media do's and don'ts. I'd been single till I dried up and blew away. Just some of the things I've seen here in LS and else where... Didn't change his relationship status Hardly acknowledges me Messaged Ex Hides his page Didn't message me back for several hours Had an argument and he blocked me Friended someone he knows I don't like Friends to many girls Posted something to another girl Gawd I'm sure the list rambles on and on. I'm with you. It's like junior high never ends anymore. That said, I don't add ANYONE I don't know on FB - even if we have 50 mutual friends. I've learned the hard way lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I'm with you. It's like junior high never ends anymore. That said, I don't add ANYONE I don't know on FB - even if we have 50 mutual friends. I've learned the hard way lol Same here. It's also the way scammers get into your profiles and steal your pictures to create fake profiles with which to scam on dating sites. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Contact has declined as well. You know im not going have it out in person or text, he would lie anyway and make me look insecure. I lost interest at this point, i dont trust his intentions and i had doubts at start anyway due his love bombing. Another one bites the dust... If you are done, just end it & move on. It's the best thing you can do -- preserve your dignity & value yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author damni Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 Ahh I wonder now if I should meet him face to face to confront him and give him a chance to explain then just end it. Against my better judgment I do like him, I defo will not be sleeping with him anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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