My fiance is chosing to pay child's tuition and there is no decree of divorce

[doorshaker]

my fiancé has been getting divorced for 2.5 years now. It’s not been pretty. She left him and he started a major legal battle with her and she said the delays were due to the fact that neither of them could afford the continuous retainers.

 

When I came into the picture, I fell so head over heels I offered for her to quit her job - focus on her daughter and I would help with the legal bills.

 

She did this but things seemed FAR tighter than I she said. And I couldn’t keep paying these legal bills!

 

I stopped and that meant that suddenly she said that she couldn’t get divorced. she got a job quickly and started paying but now we are 2 years later and she still is not divorced. It’s much closer, but I am sick of the fact that she’s still married.

 

She also pays a good portion of her salary to her ex. He keeps the child most of the time and she obviously feels guilt. God only knows what’s going on. He works and if he wants to keep the kid - and fight for the child — HE should man up and stop asking for money.

 

We actually had a big fight that caused me to leave her last fall. She got her own apartment and I went no contact with her. I came back to her several months later and she moved back in. But, she told me she had to pay her apartment for 2 more months. Then the month she said it was up, she mysteriously said she didn't realize she had 2 more months. She said she got a one bedroom first and then moved a few weeks later and they somehow changed her exit date and now she is using this as an excuse of not paying ME the amount she is paying for rent. I feel she has been hiding money from me.

 

I asked her today if she can pay me the 3500 monthly she promised after her lease was up and she said she would "try" but she had a lot of bills.

 

She does pay almost all of our meals, but I feel like i'm going into so much debt following her and my business isn't doing well at all and she knows this.

 

She lashed out at me because she said that I just bought a new computer and clothes -- and she feels if I can afford that -- she doesn't need to pay. Not true!

 

Tonight we had a major argument because I found out that she paid tuition for the child. She is paying 700 a month to tuition! Nothing to the ex - but STILL. I told her she is not court ordered. he is dragging his feet and she should stop paying. She buys the kid shoes, clothes — takes on vacations. with us. Everything is for this child and there’s NO DECREE.

 

She says that she is going to be going to court next month — to get all finalized….now that SHE paid. She is so ungrateful. She pays money to tuition and that takes money away from our income.

 

She just got done telling me she wants to help ex pay for the kid’s SOCCER camp. NO! Enough!

 

Would you support your fiancé as she pays tuition and shoes etc without a court order. I’m sick of waiting for this divorce — and it’s been years! She blames me because I didn’t pay all the legal fees — but is that my job???

[S2B]

No it isn't your responsibility.

 

She is still married!

 

Stop communicating with her! Start dating single, available women.

 

Pay for dates! Don't pay for any woman to stay with you. You've basically trained her to use you for money and now she's mad that you want her to contribute... don't make that error again. Be supportive of a woman being independent and strong enough to support herself.

 

 

This gal is busy supporting her family - which she should! You two aren't a good match since you don't agree with her family being her priority... and it seems like maybe she's seeing another man too.

[doorshaker]

Well she had filed divorce 2.5 years ago and it's almost final. (next week) SHe blames me because I wouldn't let her pay for divorce bills before -- and I will admit -- I was controlling all the money and I told her she could quit her job. But now she has a 6 figure job and she is angry that I want some of her cash... she's TOO Independant!

 

SHe has lived as divorced people for 2.5 years.

 

But, she is paying all of my meals, car payment and travel. But, I think she should pay rent and she says she can't becasue she has a lease that "I CAUSED" since I left her... since she refused to give me all her paychecks.

Edited July 24, 2017 by doorshaker

[S2B]

This is miserable. She doesn't take responsibility for her actions.

 

Be prepared for a ton of unhappiness if you continue on with her.

 

 

Read what you've typed...make a decision that's best for yourself and don't see her again.