She is back - again!

[Baz]

Hello all,

 

Need advice. Met a girl in a different country. We hit it off but we were with other partners. She eventually leaves her bloke and I soon follow. We have a two year relationship meeting at weekends whenever we can. During that time some weird stuff happens.

 

Anyway, December last year she wants out. I suspected she had been having second thoughts re her ex but she said not.

 

I have not seen her since but on four seperate occasions since then she has contacted me and tried to keep in touch. Twice it got to the point where we agreed to meet again but she cancelled both times.

 

I have never initiated contact, it is always her. I do miss her and would love to meet her again but at the same time I am moving on.

 

Anyway just recently she has started texting me again asking how I am and what I am doing and signing off with a "hug". I am acting aloof but polite because I dont want to get hurt again.

 

My question is - what is she doing?

Also, is there anything I can do to influence how she feels about me so that she wants to see me again?

 

With your help I think I might give it one last go to bring this baby down!

 

Thx

[Mr.positive]

This is a tough one. I think she wants you back. but dosn't want to tell you that. Just play it like you are.

[zoey15]

Sorry Baz, but she's playing you. She probably feeds off your attention when she is having problems with her daily guy. I'd be careful if I were you.

 

But then maybe she does want to try it again. You'll never know unless you get caught up again. Good Luck.

[Baz]

Thx both

 

Her ex is now with someone else and actually having a baby with her so I doubt that he is in the picture unless he is a complete twat. Perhaps there is someone else now...?

 

As for my ex, she has been having therapy and says that there is some stuff from her past that she needs to sort out. She also says she had bulimia when she was 13. She told me this last time we spoke which was about 3 months ago now.

 

Since then I have had text messages only and a couple of emails. Zoey, you are right when you say she feeds off my attention. Ive looked into her behaviour quite a bit and there does seem to be something wrong. Whenever we met she would give me the silent treatment for hours for no real reason. I think she is frightened of commitment and love, or rather doesn't understand it in a way that a healthy person does. When we first made love she wouldn't let me kiss her. It was so odd I felt cheap and cant believe that I went through with it. Weird stuff.

 

Anyway like a fool I do miss her. SHould I continue to initiate NC and answer her if she contacts me or should I ignore her altogether?

 

She sent a text two weeks ago asking how I was etc and saying that she is still feeling "poor". Two days later I get a text saying that she was in Turkey for a week. Its like she is trying to hurt me.

 

Thx

[TnT]

Baz, I hate to say it, but this sounds a little wierd.

Do u really need a strange girl like this in ur life??? Y waste ur time thinking about someone who cant make up their mind in life???

If she wanted u, you would know about it!!!!

If u wanted her, surely u would be with her right???

I dont know man, but this sounds wierd, and whats with her not wanting to be kissed while making love?? who does that??

 

Sorry if this is a little negative, but she sounds wierd man.

[Baz]

TnT. Thx for your response. You are right, she is weird and I know that I need to get out of it but its like I am drawn back into it whenever she deals one of her cards. Its like im hypnotised by the damn thing. I tend to think she is just one srewed up chick who is going to be farting around for years to come.

 

I dont know, I just feel very confused I guess.