Author No_Go Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 As said most sexual 'disorders' I'm fine with and willing to work on if need be. Nothing like permanently premature or hopeless psychological ED can scare me off, I've dealt with some and it is not such of a big deal. Yes, I think I'm matching his description of a woman that he'll find attractive - tall, thin, brunette, long hair etc (I can't measure it on a scale but I'm considered attractive by conventional standards and take care of myself). But who knows... I may have the wrong reflection in the mirror... Just because you think he had a boner, doesn't mean he doesn't have other physiological sex hangups....Maybe he goes limp before getting his fly down, maybe he's a two pump chump...among other things.. There is no way to be sure...But I guess you'll find out soon enough... As for lack of interest...I know this is a subjective question, but do you think you present what a guy would consider a "sexually attractive package"?? TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Firm believer in biology here. Well... there are exceptions but I'm trying to stop my mind from spinning. And this gets back to my original post about how neural pathways are forged under the flush of new love, which can then provide the glue for long-term happiness/satisfaction. Pussyfooting your way into a relationship is just not building the same sorts of connections, either for you or for him. Of course YMMV... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 (edited) The comment he made on his profile(and that it was significant enough to put there) about him not liking sexual forwardness combined with his comment how love transcends physical sex and he could w a man combined with his behavior so far makes me think this a psychological rather than physiological issue with sex (although they're one in the same, pretty much) He reminds me of one of those demisexual people Edited August 16, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 And this gets back to my original post about how neural pathways are forged under the flush of new love, which can then provide the glue for long-term happiness/satisfaction. Pussyfooting your way into a relationship is just not building the same sorts of connections, either for you or for him. Of course YMMV... Um so much build up that if it launches, it will be explosive... Don't underestimate it as pussyfooting 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 The comment he made on his profile(and that it was significant enough to put there) about him not liking sexual forwardness combined with his comment how love transcends physical sex and he could w a man combined with his behavior so far makes me think this a psychological rather than physiological issue with sex (although they're one in the same, pretty much) He reminds me of one of those demisexual people I'm near certain if there is an issue at all , it is not physiological but psychological. IME the 2 are not the same at all... at least not in what I've tried so far. I'm thinking if it ever happens it will be out of this earth... because of all the build up / waiting ... that's why I'm also a bit scared to start ... staging it will be hard... I mean thinking oh lets kiss and wait another week for action ?!?? Counting the days, hope he doesn't bail... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Oh sorry I meant that they're one in the same in the case of it being a psychological issue that impacts his arousal...like his psych can have impact on him physically . But I read since then he did get physically aroused. Hmm. I agree the anticipation is exciting!!! And this is from a 3rd party 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 Oh sorry I meant that they're one in the same in the case of it being a psychological issue that impacts his arousal...like his psych can have impact on him physically . But I read since then he did get physically aroused. Hmm. I agree the anticipation is exciting!!! And this is from a 3rd party Ooh my mind is playing games from this anticipation... I have had ummm interesting dreams recently and I think this waiting torture is priming them :laugh: .... And he's quiet as heck! If he bails I'd be quite deflated.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 16, 2017 Share Posted August 16, 2017 I can almost rule out the possibility that he's not physically attracted to the OP. I mean, why would he waste time going on so many dates?! It's likely performance anxiety or sexually conservativeness, or that he felt intimidated to make a move on such a high-quality woman OP: Did he at least compliment you on your looks or outfits or check you out (you know, giving you that look )? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 Haha hopefully is the high-quality issue Ehh.... maybe he's dating others that he likes more... But I match to the T his description of what he finds attractive, which is funny. He did look haha. Generally I wear fit&flare dresses that are easy to slip off he didn't take advantage but I doubt he didn't notice. Compliments were strangely mostly on things I've done, not looks (I liked that a lot, i get embarrassed if someone comments on my looks ) Since there are just 2 days I'm pulling back a bit on communication. I don't know what else to do - I feel like I played all my cards. I can almost rule out the possibility that he's not physically attracted to the OP. I mean, why would he waste time going on so many dates?! It's likely performance anxiety or sexually conservativeness, or that he felt intimidated to make a move on such a high-quality woman OP: Did he at least compliment you on your looks or outfits or check you out (you know, giving you that look )? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 So, you have a date? he replied? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 So, you have a date? he replied? Yeah we do - on Saturday. Long time to wait but I thought not to rush it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Yeah we do - on Saturday. Long time to wait but I thought not to rush it. Great! somehow I missed that bit. Saturday is only 2 days from tomorrow and anticipation is good! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Ok, I can 99% guarantee it is not physiological ED - as said my peripheral vision is usually good enough... That much for that. This gives a lot of imagination for our dirty minds again :lmao: 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 This gives a lot of imagination for our dirty minds again :lmao: And here is within a reason... If he could read my thoughts at that time he'd blush... He confirmed the date again (for no reason), but then got even less active than before. The remaining hours will be tough ... But he won't agree on 5th date if not interested, right? Or why would he... I'm assuming platonic friendship is ruled out based on meeting in OLD... Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Who knows maybe a bunch of people on a forum are telling him to not text so much. I have a theory. I think he is purposely putting space between you and him to tone down a bit this connection you have been experiencing. It puts you back in a more comfortable spot for him and of course a bit of space will delay intimicy as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 :lmao: I think you may be right. I hope that's it. I think he mentioned something like this - how much he values patience and moving slow :/ I swear I can't take this off my mind... Except when we are together, then it is magically getting calm... Who knows maybe a bunch of people on a forum are telling him to not text so much. I have a theory. I think he is purposely putting space between you and him to tone down a bit this connection you have been experiencing. It puts you back in a more comfortable spot for him and of course a bit of space will delay intimicy as well. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 :lmao: I think you may be right. I hope that's it. I think he mentioned something like this - how much he values patience and moving slow :/ I swear I can't take this off my mind... Except when we are together, then it is magically getting calm... This type of talk or thought process is usually what the woman says / does....For the obvious reason that they don't want to be a notch in the guys belt, so they put the brakes on, in hopes that it will rule out the players as they generally don't have the patience.. It's as if the usual roles are reversed....You can't wait to get this off the ground and get laid, and he's being coy... Seems odd,....just a man's perspective.... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 BTW my last bf had no problem getting hard and I always thought that the sex would be explosive. It didn't happen till the 7th date. He did kiss me on date 2 though, but....he had a type of ED that happens mid-act or sometimes just before the act starts. It was refreshing for me that he didn't push for sex early but now I realize there was a reason. It honestly wouldn't have bothered me if I was really into him otherwise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 This type of talk or thought process is usually what the woman says / does....For the obvious reason that they don't want to be a notch in the guys belt, so they put the brakes on, in hopes that it will rule out the players as they generally don't have the patience.. It's as if the usual roles are reversed....You can't wait to get this off the ground and get laid, and he's being coy... Seems odd,....just a man's perspective.... TFY My first serious boyfriend (we were in our early 20's) made us wait a year until we had "real" sex. He wanted to take it slow and wait until we're both more stable and responsible. And yes, he had a lot of feminine qualities and low testoterone levels. Maybe that's the case with NG's guy. That kind of guys just aren't instinctual and sexually driven 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 I'm thinking: 1) Not interested 2) Still dating others 3) Some sexual hangup 4) Low libido/testosterone 5) Anxiety Hoping it's not 1 or 4... Then I have no choice This type of talk or thought process is usually what the woman says / does....For the obvious reason that they don't want to be a notch in the guys belt, so they put the brakes on, in hopes that it will rule out the players as they generally don't have the patience.. It's as if the usual roles are reversed....You can't wait to get this off the ground and get laid, and he's being coy... Seems odd,....just a man's perspective.... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 My last ex had extreme issues the first 2 weeks - he'd get hard than lose it and nothing would work. Turned he stated virgin until mid 30s because of religious hang ups and didn't know what to do. I took it VERY patiently - like not pressure at all - if it doesn't work we'll just stay and chat in bed, I'm not going to try to 'make' him hard. Sometimes this was 4-5 hours because he'd be so frustrated. Well once he eventually relaxed (in couple of weeks) - no issues whatsoever. We'd crank up 4-5 rounds a night and practically never skipped a day in the next 2 years He got too enthusiastic I guess. Point being - I'm not worried for sexual issues on psychological level, these are workable. If it is psysiological - like low testosterone.... then I'm lost. BTW my last bf had no problem getting hard and I always thought that the sex would be explosive. It didn't happen till the 7th date. He did kiss me on date 2 though, but....he had a type of ED that happens mid-act or sometimes just before the act starts. It was refreshing for me that he didn't push for sex early but now I realize there was a reason. It honestly wouldn't have bothered me if I was really into him otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 My first serious boyfriend (we were in our early 20's) made us wait a year until we had "real" sex. He wanted to take it slow and wait until we're both more stable and responsible. And yes, he had a lot of feminine qualities and low testoterone levels. Maybe that's the case with NG's guy. That kind of guys just aren't instinctual and sexually driven Ohhh I am fine with delayed but an Year??!! No way.. I guess now I need to see how it goes this weekend and stop extrapolating.... Could be just fine or he dumps me... who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 But even if it's low testoterone, that isn't a death sentence on sex life either.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 18, 2017 Share Posted August 18, 2017 Ohhh I am fine with delayed but an Year??!! No way.. I guess now I need to see how it goes this weekend and stop extrapolating.... Could be just fine or he dumps me... who knows. We were young and our lives were turbulent... But yeah a healthy masculine guy wouldn't wait a year for sure. Most probably wouldn't even wait a month with a willing and ready woman at hand but people are different of course 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 18, 2017 Author Share Posted August 18, 2017 But even if it's low testoterone, that isn't a death sentence on sex life either.. Was it ok after your year long wait? What was his frequency after that? Pls don't say once a week Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts