thefooloftheyear Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 I'm not against anyone sharing their opinions, and I tend to be the most contrarian and pessimistic person here! But as No_Go just confirmed, everything with this guy is absolutely fine (to the extent that things have been fine so far). Yes, he's a bit slow on the uptake and there's SOMEthing weird that is keeping him standoffish. I totally agree. But predicting doom and gloom when we don't know any better isn't too helpful. Unless he actually starts to show signs of disinterest---ignoring her, not offering dates, not trying to be with her---it seems sensible to assume that a dude who had been on several dates with her and wants to date her again is at least vaguely interested in some way. Just trying to give an unbiased male perspective, age appropriate, which on a site like this is about as rare as a vegan at the steakhouse....meh.. But fair enough....This cock is leaving the henhouse.... I wish all the best NoGo....Maybe its all meant to be after all... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 What's the point of shaming people for their opinions? It's not like anyone here mean NG anything bad, we're all cheering for something great to happen here and we're not therapist to know how to build an anxious person up (heck I'm anxiety ridden myself). All we can do is speculate together with the OP and tell her what we think. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Just trying to give an unbiased male perspective, age appropriate, which on a site like this is about as rare as a vegan at the steakhouse....meh.. But fair enough....This cock is leaving the henhouse.... I wish all the best NoGo....Maybe its all meant to be after all... TFY I personally don't agree with some of your conclusions, but I thought your perspective is helpful. It'd be unfortunate if you bow out of this thread due to shaming. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 I don't know why all the speculating is bothering anyone. I personally like to do it and it's part of the fun. I over-think too but it doesn't mean I am "all doom and gloom" or am about to jump of the cliff if things don't work out. I suspect NG is the same. I think this is all going well but there are some question marks that warrant the speculation. Whoever doesn't like it, can leave the thread. TFY had some valuable input as a male...we don't all have to agree 100% of the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 Hey of course all opinions, negative and positive alike, are welcome. I'm sorry if I was offensive in some way. Don't leave our henhouse Just trying to give an unbiased male perspective, age appropriate, which on a site like this is about as rare as a vegan at the steakhouse....meh.. But fair enough....This cock is leaving the henhouse.... I wish all the best NoGo....Maybe its all meant to be after all... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 A bit of a twist here - just wanted to say both Lana and TafY and the rest have valuable perspectives that I don't want to lose. I'm usually 'liking' all opinions to acknowledge I read them. I don't think this was meant to be a disagreement between posters - Lana is a bit more direct, but that's it. TFY has his opinion and that's it. All is good and valuable. On more relevant note: going very soon to have update... It can be very awkward... No action at all from his end and I feel like I'm forcing him now to come with me into the woods... If we gave the dreaded conversation 'it's not you...' it will be terrible, I prefer this over text in this stage. I hires I'll now more very soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 I over-think too but it doesn't mean I am "all doom and gloom" or am about to jump of the cliff if things don't work out. I suspect NG is the same. Off-topic but I'm wondering if this is cultural. Seems like in Eastern Europe more people are 'worriers' or appear to be so. I hyperbolize a lot in my daily life and people often take it literally (like if I say 'I had a bad day, I want to die' sure as hell I DON'T want to die, it is just a figure of speech. ) Moreover when I was younger i used to get these comments: 'you can't succeed because you're too anxious', 'you will have hard time in life because you're too nervous' etc. Well... life didn't go that way Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Off-topic but I'm wondering if this is cultural. Seems like in Eastern Europe more people are 'worriers' or appear to be so. I hyperbolize a lot in my daily life and people often take it literally (like if I say 'I had a bad day, I want to die' sure as hell I DON'T want to die, it is just a figure of speech. ) Moreover when I was younger i used to get these comments: 'you can't succeed because you're too anxious', 'you will have hard time in life because you're too nervous' etc. Well... life didn't go that way As your non-Eastern European soul-mate, I can confirm that the worrying tendency knows no geographic bounds! I've been reading and cheering for you, NG. Hoping for a good update after today! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Off-topic but I'm wondering if this is cultural. Seems like in Eastern Europe more people are 'worriers' or appear to be so. I hyperbolize a lot in my daily life and people often take it literally (like if I say 'I had a bad day, I want to die' sure as hell I DON'T want to die, it is just a figure of speech. ) Moreover when I was younger i used to get these comments: 'you can't succeed because you're too anxious', 'you will have hard time in life because you're too nervous' etc. Well... life didn't go that way I do think this is cultural to a large degree. Anglo-saxon culture has this mantra: "Be positive." "Be confident". Anything outside of that is seen as weird. I often find that people way overestimate how anxious or negative I am. I would have what I feel like is a normal conversation, just kind of playing out all the possible outcomes of a certain situation and an Australian person would tell me that I am being way too anxious and negative. My whole family is similar to me. Back when I lived in Eastern Europe, not one person ever told me that I am anxious or negative (and Eastern Europeans are pretty blunt and speak their mind). There is a large cultural disconnect there. The same with hyperbolizing. I would get home after a bad day and say to my former flatmate "I want to go an jump off a bridge" and he wouldn't get that I am half joking or would roll his eyes and say "there is that negativity again"..... Ugh, so frustrating. Obviously nothing is 100% and I am sure there are anglo-saxon people that are like us. But I find that they are in general colder, more controlled and less in touch with their emotions. It seems socially unacceptable to show any negative emotion unless there are extreme circumstances. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Off-topic but I'm wondering if this is cultural. Seems like in Eastern Europe more people are 'worriers' or appear to be so. I hyperbolize a lot in my daily life and people often take it literally (like if I say 'I had a bad day, I want to die' sure as hell I DON'T want to die, it is just a figure of speech. ) Moreover when I was younger i used to get these comments: 'you can't succeed because you're too anxious', 'you will have hard time in life because you're too nervous' etc. Well... life didn't go that way Definitely an Eastern European thing! In my country it's normal to have a negative attitude, worry, complain and expect a disappointment. We even have a saying "don't laugh too much during the day, cause you'll cry in the evening". Doesn't make much sense! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 Wow guys I'm so stuck! This was a glorious morning - sun was back for us, walked to a hidden path, played with the butterflies, spoke about music and nature and the eclipse and the sun in general .. Ended up on a bench and I was *that* close of making a move and... the security guard came over to chat with us after apparently watching us the whole time playing with the optics to spot some birds around:lmao: aaaargh no move yet, I simply can't give up now, I'm so excited, and another spatial separation (vacation) coming soon so I need to sort it out by then... This guy is playing my strings so well that I'm defenseless ... can't give up but can't get out of the limbo. Help! Ideas are soooo welcome! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 So happy you hear you had another wonderful time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 So happy you hear you had another wonderful time Among our platonic activities he was talking about the instincts of copulating insects I hope it was a hint , no?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Great that you had a wonderful time! I think it's time to progress and take it to the next level...really hope the next date is at your place When is the next vacation? p.s. Didn't you need some help and have an excuse to grab his hand/arm while walking on those hiking trails?? Wow guys I'm so stuck! This was a glorious morning - sun was back for us, walked to a hidden path, played with the butterflies, spoke about music and nature and the eclipse and the sun in general .. Ended up on a bench and I was *that* close of making a move and... the security guard came over to chat with us after apparently watching us the whole time playing with the optics to spot some birds around:lmao: aaaargh no move yet, I simply can't give up now, I'm so excited, and another spatial separation (vacation) coming soon so I need to sort it out by then... This guy is playing my strings so well that I'm defenseless ... can't give up but can't get out of the limbo. Help! Ideas are soooo welcome! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 Ooooh in September and it will be looong time .... we overlap trips so it is terrible timing....... There was some arm touching this time but it's not the point hahaha I NEED more than that sooooo badly omg this is like building pressure to no end... His turn to plan I guess?? So I'm helpless getting him in here unless he proposes himself... Or not?? Are there any rules?? This is a mental f*ck! I can't handle more of it but on the other side I sooo much want it... Great that you had a wonderful time! I think it's time to progress and take it to the next level...really hope the next date is at your place When is the next vacation? p.s. Didn't you need some help and have an excuse to grab his hand/arm while walking on those hiking trails?? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Hahaha copulating insects..ow ow. So sexy. His turn, imo! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Ooooh in September and it will be looong time .... we overlap trips so it is terrible timing....... There was some arm touching this time but it's not the point hahaha I NEED more than that sooooo badly omg this is like building pressure to no end... His turn to plan I guess?? So I'm helpless getting him in here unless he proposes himself... Or not?? Are there any rules?? This is a mental f*ck! I can't handle more of it but on the other side I sooo much want it... If he suggests dinner next time, just tell him it's his turn to try out your cooking 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 And... by then I wait and BITE MY NAILS in anticipation... No action?? Woah this time this got me rolling I checked my profile now and I'm really not interested in anybody there... And the one that I'm investing all this energy in is now maybe not interested?? Bummer! But then, why, just why, he's doing rolling with it as well?? He must be at least marginally interested I guess... Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 I thought a bit - this is certainly the p**p or get of the pot time. Next month we'd both be traveling so basically no see time. We've spend time together on 5 occasions, ranging from 3 to 6 hours, so substantial enough to say interested/not interested. I've let him into my world and home and to some extent, he let me into his world as well. Sitting idle, as Blue said, doesn't help. I initiated last time so this time I think I'll go overboard if I initiate again. It is 2 weeks to separation - then it will all sink into the sea because such a short term connection doesn't sustain breaks unless there is something to anticipate after. I'm in a loss here. I am not ready to let this die out but I am also not able to move it forward Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 I thought a bit - this is certainly the p**p or get of the pot time. Next month we'd both be traveling so basically no see time. We've spend time together on 5 occasions, ranging from 3 to 6 hours, so substantial enough to say interested/not interested. I've let him into my world and home and to some extent, he let me into his world as well. Sitting idle, as Blue said, doesn't help. I initiated last time so this time I think I'll go overboard if I initiate again. It is 2 weeks to separation - then it will all sink into the sea because such a short term connection doesn't sustain breaks unless there is something to anticipate after. I'm in a loss here. I am not ready to let this die out but I am also not able to move it forward You can't move it forward on your own, you both have to be 100% into it, or you don't have anything. If it is going to turn into a relationship, it won't die because you didn't see each other for a few weeks. But it doesn't sound like it is moving forward. I wouldn't push for something that doesn't seem completely mutual. Having to push for any of it is not good. And his sexual comment about insects would have been a turnoff for me. You can do better, and you are better off alone than putting yourself through the agony you seem to be feeling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 He is on vacation for 2 weeks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 He is on vacation for 2 weeks? I'm away with family then he's on work trip over 2 weeks, much more Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 You can't move it forward on your own, you both have to be 100% into it, or you don't have anything. If it is going to turn into a relationship, it won't die because you didn't see each other for a few weeks. But it doesn't sound like it is moving forward. I wouldn't push for something that doesn't seem completely mutual. Having to push for any of it is not good. And his sexual comment about insects would have been a turnoff for me. You can do better, and you are better off alone than putting yourself through the agony you seem to be feeling. Insects was a joke obviously in line with our conversation ... I'm very into insects for that matter;) For the rest I agree - it should be mutual Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Damn:( :( Because I don't have the psychology to multi date and I prefer guys who don't multi-day either, I just could not deal with that much uncertainty. Over 2 weeks and not knowing if I would ever see the person again. It would just be too hard. I like it when we plan the dates on the date or like no more than a day after. I need guys to make their interest clear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Insects was a joke obviously in line with our conversation ... I'm very into insects for that matter;) For the rest I agree - it should be mutual I think it sounds interesting. Haha. Knowledge is cool. Some insects mate on their wing... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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