Author No_Go Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 What do you call ignoring you 3 times if not more? I call it my hyper-anxiety Except last day or two, the rest of the time I'd just freak out if he doesn't respond promptly. Btw didn't you have similar hiccup in the beginning of your relationship? Stuff happens sometimes... Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Weak or not, I just can't be an a**hole to him - he didn't do anything malicious. He's a great person, which doesn't mean I won't meet another great person - but not right now:) It's not malicious to put yourself first and do what you need to move on and not hold out hope or 'wait' for what will never come. you deserve so much better 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I call it my hyper-anxiety Except last day or two, the rest of the time I'd just freak out if he doesn't respond promptly. Btw didn't you have similar hiccup in the beginning of your relationship? Stuff happens sometimes... Just curious: What excuse did he give for going MIA the day before yesterday, if you don't mind sharing? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Got stuck at work. Not that's impossible, I've done it before, but of course I know there was more than that. He was about to text me 2x that day and stopped, I am very observant so to speak;) I think he was on crossroads about dropping me, not maybe he did it for good. But in any case, it was a strong experience, I do not regret it. Just curious: What excuse did he give for going MIA the day before yesterday, if you don't mind sharing? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Well I guess you can still afford to lose a few more days, before you take off for your vacation. Either way, you should have made up your mind by then (with the unraveling of more information)... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Btw didn't you have similar hiccup in the beginning of your relationship? Stuff happens sometimes... Absolutely not, my bf planned and carried on our first dates and by date 5 we were exclusive. At the beginning he called me without fail every second day. We had a hiccup at 1 month dating when he lost his phone and I didn't hear from him from Monday through Thursday. That has nothing to do with what you are going through. Back to you. This guy tells you he'll get back to you the following day concerning a date and he doesn't - of his own will. That's not about someone's texting style, that's about courtesy and respect. Which he lacks. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Well rereading the thread about the lost phone it was more than that There was the caving explanation etc. Here we have never been out of contact for over 48 hours as well:) And it is also exactly a month. Absolutely not, my bf planned and carried on our first dates and by date 5 we were exclusive. At the beginning he called me without fail every second day. We had a hiccup at 1 month dating when he lost his phone and I didn't hear from him from Monday through Thursday. That has nothing to do with what you are going through. Back to you. This guy tells you he'll get back to you the following day concerning a date and he doesn't - of his own will. That's not about someone's texting style, that's about courtesy and respect. Which he lacks. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Well rereading the thread about the lost phone it was more than that There was the caving explanation etc. Here we have never been out of contact for over 48 hours as well:) And it is also exactly a month. No_go, you can interpret it as you wish. There is no comparison between the beginning of my relationship and the circus this man is putting you through. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Got stuck at work. Not that's impossible, I've done it before, but of course I know there was more than that. He was about to text me 2x that day and stopped, I am very observant so to speak;) I think he was on crossroads about dropping me, not maybe he did it for good. But in any case, it was a strong experience, I do not regret it. Disclaimer: I'm all for dropping this guy, personally. But I do have a different interpretation of the bolded: I think he's probably debating whether to reschedule your proposed date to next week. Guys like this are just not very decisive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 I do have a different interpretation of the bolded: I think he's probably debating whether to reschedule your proposed date to next week. Guys like this are just not very decisive. I'm 99% sure you're right I actually want to get him off this 'problem' because it is troubling him, but I don't know how, without being a pest with more messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 Sorry, but this man is ridiculous. He's acting like an indecisive teenage boy. "Oh, he's about to kiss me! This is it, it's gonna happen... Almost... Nvm, something interrupted us, maybe next time" "Yay, he's about to confirm the date! Any minute now. He's starting to text....Wait for it... Nvm he disappeared for the day" All this, while you're riding an emotional roller-coaster in your head. I understand, I have also accepted like warm treatment from men before. But this man, he hasn't even kissed you! There's still nothing between you two and you're already making up excuses 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 Well I attach emotionally way more than physically so the kiss was more for him to attach than for me. I know it is in my head. I hate this and love this in the same time. It is like purging my past emotionless experiences. I don't think he's ridiculous - I am. What you read is my interpret . For him it could be very different. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 (edited) Has he texted yet? Edited August 26, 2017 by JuneL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 This beggars belief. No, someone who loses his phone for four days is not remotely comparable to a man who won't even kiss you after A MONTH. This guy here is making excuse after excuse to not see you, each delay becomes less plausible than the last, and you even acknowledge you don't buy it. I imagine some naive, well-intentioned but inexperienced young guy watching a grown woman embarrass herself this way and thinking "what in the actual $&@#?!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 This guy just isn't into that you. That's the explanation. It's honestly in your best interest to block him and move on. Stop wasting your time. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 Well I attach emotionally way more than physically so the kiss was more for him to attach than for me. I know it is in my head. I hate this and love this in the same time. It is like purging my past emotionless experiences. I don't think he's ridiculous - I am. What you read is my interpret . For him it could be very different. Well it's even worse then. If a man you barely know can get you into this state of mind with barely moving a finger, then your readiness to date is really questionable, NG... You're already making excuses, shifting blame on yourself, lying to yourself. I don't think it's a very healthy place to be, especially knowing that you haven't even begun a relationship. You say you love this drama, it gives you thrill - well that just shows it's not really this man you're attached to, but an image in your mind. But it's just a matter of time when drama stops giving you thrills and starts causing pain instead. Cause it does, sooner or later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 Yeah maybe my guy lost his phone as well This is exactly plausible, right ? C'mon people - let's be real . People it is just funny how selective your memory is Mine is not. Lana - seriously? You asked out married/taken guy, right, despite him rejecting the advances. My story compared to this is just naively innocent, not embarrassing. That's not for arguing - I revisited the stories because they were similar to mine and gave me hope. I don't know why this needs to be mocked. This beggars belief. No, someone who loses his phone for four days is not remotely comparable to a man who won't even kiss you after A MONTH. This guy here is making excuse after excuse to not see you, each delay becomes less plausible than the last, and you even acknowledge you don't buy it. I imagine some naive, well-intentioned but inexperienced young guy watching a grown woman embarrass herself this way and thinking "what in the actual $&@#?!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 Well it's even worse then. If a man you barely know can get you into this state of mind with barely moving a finger, then your readiness to date is really questionable, NG... You're already making excuses, shifting blame on yourself, lying to yourself. I don't think it's a very healthy place to be, especially knowing that you haven't even begun a relationship. You say you love this drama, it gives you thrill - well that just shows it's not really this man you're attached to, but an image in your mind. But it's just a matter of time when drama stops giving you thrills and starts causing pain instead. Cause it does, sooner or later. Lorenza I don't need to wait for someone to 'move finger' or prove himself to get into him. This is a transaction. I firmly believe love/attraction/connection etc is not a transaction so it is action-independent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 Has he texted yet? No he hasn't. This time went all wrong with my last contact. I'm not sure if anything can be done here besides waiting him to come around eventually. If ever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 He's most likely gone for good. Well, my loss. It's definitely HIS loss. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 (edited) Yeah maybe my guy lost his phone as well This is exactly plausible, right ? C'mon people - let's be real . People it is just funny how selective your memory is Mine is not. Lana - seriously? You asked out married/taken guy, right, despite him rejecting the advances. My story compared to this is just naively innocent, not embarrassing. Uhhh, no, that is literally not what happened! I asked a guy if he had feelings for me. He said he did but we agreed nothing could ever happen because we were coworkers with other partners. Two weeks later we were both single and started dating. He never once "rejected advances" from me and there's nothing embarrassing about it, and I am proud of my relationship with my fiancé. I have an entire post history to back it up and showing just how proud I am! I get that you are hurting but now you are flat-out trying to hurt people in this thread by lying about their own lives. That's utterly inappropriate and unkind. This has gone beyond a place I can help. I wish you the best. Edited August 26, 2017 by lana-banana 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 Ok and sorry if I offended you. I'm happy that it worked out for you, and hope it will for me as well, that's all. Uhhh, no, that is literally not what happened! I asked a guy if he had feelings for me. He said he did but we agreed nothing could ever happen because we were coworkers with other partners. Two weeks later we were both single and started dating. He never once "rejected advances" from me and there's nothing embarrassing about it, and I am proud of my relationship with my fiancé. I have an entire post history to back it up and showing just how proud I am! I get that you are hurting but now you are flat-out trying to hurt people in this thread by lying about their own lives. That's utterly inappropriate and unkind. This has gone beyond a place I can help. I wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 (edited) It's definitely HIS loss. I had a lot to offer but oh well Maybe different stages in life, or just lack of attraction, whatever it is I'll lick my wounds for couple of weeks and call it a day. I realized I know nothing about this guy to judge him. He may be dating others, getting over a break up, has some medical condition, having financial issues. I have no idea. I miss him badly but I have to let him go ;( Edited August 26, 2017 by No_Go Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 I had a lot to offer but oh well Maybe different stages in life, or just lack of attraction, whatever it is I'll lick my wounds for couple of weeks and call it a day. I realized I know nothing about this guy to judge him. He may be dating others, getting over a break up, has some medical condition, having financial issues. I have no idea. I miss him badly but I have to let him go ;( That's the thing. You did nothing wrong here. I think you acted perfectly. You showed clear interest but didn't hassle him. You were very patient and understanding. Whatever his deal is (and you are right, we have no idea), nothing you can do about it. I am also impressed how well you handled some of the criticisms in this thread. You are way classier than I am 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 Gah I was kind of mean here because I got overloaded the past few days. Toning it down now. Link to post Share on other sites
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