Making decisions and having "faith"!

[Soak]

Okay, it's a tricky but simple concept.

 

Making an overall decision on how you expect to be treated in life, and deciding what you want, which in my case, is to be happy.

 

Decision 1: not to tolerate abuse from anyone, whether it be emotional, psychological or spiritual.

 

Decision 2: to do what, vocationally, makes me happy.

 

My thinking is this - in making decisions like this, is a framework for 'life'. It's hard to explain, but it's like almost every decision for me now must pass through these two questions:

 

1. is this making me happy (am i not being abused, and also hanging around healthy, well adjusted people?), and

 

2. does this career make me happy (essentially happy - Do i enjoy what i do, would i do it of i could just 'survive' on it?).

 

Navigating my life like this seems like a leap of faith and trust. Until now, i have had a very fear-based framework - a fear of famine, will i go without? I need to survive!

 

I'm not sure that this has brought me any content, and it certainly hasn't brought me any happiness.

 

So, now i grapple with fear-based thinking vs. bravery and stepping forward, even though it offers me very little instant gratification. Note: that is where the faith comes in. Faith in self, and faith in the Universe (although i've always trusted my self more than a vague concept, though i am curious to see whether there's a little magic in 'intentions'..).

 

Some people seem so happy and content, and there must be something driving them, like an inner belief, or determination. Without the sleazy sales pitch, if you know what i mean.

 

Just wondering whether anyone else has made core decisions even though those decisions, despite it not being (perceivably) easy, or within your comfort zone?

Edited July 25, 2017 by Soak

[Novz]

 

Just wondering whether anyone else has made core decisions even though those decisions do not lead to instant gratification? Eg, the decision to do a vocation you love might not immediately make you money, but if you hang on... Maybe you can make a good success out of it?

Also, the decision not to be abused and to only be around people who treat me well, has ironically resulted in me losing a part time job, which will place strain on me as im studying (but their behaviour wasn't sitting right with me, and it was them who terminated the position).

 

Interesting.

 

Yes! I made two big decisions in the past. I was worried about the outcome after i made those decisions, I thought I was wrong. However, looking back and seeing where I am at now. I knew I made a great decisions

 

As to the abuse, I hope one will not be blind with it. Speak up and stop tolerating it.

 

I am sorry about the termination but I know you will find a replacement for the job. Your welfare should come first.

[Chilli]

So many huge decisions, as big as they get, after divorce this last few yrs, l don't care if l never have to make another one again tbh.

 

But one thing about other people seeming happy, it's actually fact that simpler people are usually the happiest people.

So if intelligence is measured by happiness , which l reckon is the only true way of measuring it, then simpler people are far smarter than most.

 

Anyway , with the way lifes been for me the last few yrs, l'm sick to death of struggling with decisions and so a few mths ago l realized just how much grief l'd been giving myself and yet l was probably least happiest ever and l was still making bad ones as well as good ones anyway.

So , l decided to make a few changes in the decision thing and try to just go with my gut and what feels right, what makes me happy and that's it.

Try not to dwell , just go with it and move on.

Seems to be working well and so far they've all been right to l'm happy to say.

 

Not sayin it's right for everyone, depends on your instincts too.

But for me it's so far leaving the brain wracking and agonizing for dead.

 

Good luck anyway.

[Soak]

Yes! I made two big decisions in the past. I was worried about the outcome after i made those decisions, I thought I was wrong. However, looking back and seeing where I am at now. I knew I made a great decisions

 

Yes, it's all about belief in yourself and setting standards for yourself.

[preraph]

I really believe it's good to deliberately use filters like these. I've seen too many "easy going" people end up with whatever the wind blew at them, which wasn't good.

[Soak]

So , l decided to make a few changes in the decision thing and try to just go with my gut and what feels right, what makes me happy and that's it.

Try not to dwell , just go with it and move on.

Seems to be working well and so far they've all been right to l'm happy to say.

 

Not sayin it's right for everyone, depends on your instincts too.

But for me it's so far leaving the brain wracking and agonizing for dead.

 

Good luck anyway.

 

Wow, Chilli, so glad things are looking up. I think you're right about the not dwelling.

 

I really believe it's good to deliberately use filters like these. I've seen too many "easy going" people end up with whatever the wind blew at them, which wasn't good.

 

These filters / frameworks for living are good. From now on, almost every interaction i have with other people will pass through the respect and conduct filter. If they don't pass, they get nothing more from me. No ifs, no buts.

 

I'm quite pleased that i have come to these decisions

Edited July 26, 2017 by Soak

[Chilli]

Yes, it's all about belief in yourself and setting standards for yourself.

 

 

Yeah , this is a very big part in it l believe.

l trust my instincts mostly and l know mostly what l want and like for the future ,

lf all is well then l should feel pleased and relaxed at whatever the choice is.

lf not , my head will be screaming at me.

[Soak]

l know mostly what l want and like for the future ,

lf all is well then l should feel pleased and relaxed at whatever the choice is.

lf not , my head will be screaming at me

 

Knowing what i want is a problem for me sometimes. I am so busy thinking about what i 'should' do, that the spiritual part of me has withered.

 

Maybe i do know what i want underneath it all, but am too afraid, or feel too defeated to really persue it.

 

I think i need to go within and have a really good search. Maybe i knew what i wanted in the past, and it all fell apart.

[Chilli]

Ahh, don't worry tbh, it's been a big problem for me too since my divorce.

And many a time l've felt too defeated too tbh.like walking away , hands in air, fk it all.

So when l said l know what l want , mainly just referring to the few big things going on for me since and in this last 12mths..

l've needed to get those straight before l can think or do much else.

so gf ,now ex, the house l've just bought stay or go ,the 2 or 3 basics that have been wrecking my head.

They're very big basics , but they are the basics.

 

l've decided l'm gonna stay here , go on with my house, l'm not gonna lay everything on the line for gf , or ex now, l just can't trust her personality.

live life for now , work , do the house, just do things l feel like doing in life, and see where the cards may fall for now,

And so if not gf then l would also love to meet somebody new, serious, down the track and hopefully have a future there in that too.

 

The rest , l know is all inside and that should fall into shape and reveal itself as life goes along now that l've sorted the main big basics.

 

And that's probably all you've gotta do for now.

Sort out the big main 2 or 3 basics in your life and, settle into that for awhile and go from there,

Relax on the rest, forced things like that are usually wrong. They'll probably just spell themselves out for you along the way later anyway, once you get the big basics right.

 

Good luck , hang in there,

[Soak]

see where the cards may fall for now,

 

Yes, that is quite new to me, and could be an adventure.

 

Thanks for your thoughts Chilli

[Chilli]

Yeah, it's sorta not quite as it sounds , like you can usually have a back up in mind to turn to if whatever it is starts looking like a bad move half way through.