Zahara Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 I was told I was crazy. I would be ignored. Lied to. Cheated on. Strung along. You posted this a few days ago. Instead of clinging to him, it would be best to start focusing on why you keep wanting to go back to him. Your energy would be best invested in your emotional and mental healing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 Thank you all for your replies! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 He's not going to contact you because he's secure in the knowledge that no matter how poorly he treats you, that you will continue to put up with it. He has zero respect for you. Start having some for yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 7 years and just "dating"? Not engaged to be married, not living together, but 7 years dating? Doesn't sound like a relationship that was progressing, and now has come to an end - that perhaps should have ended long ago. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nothingsintheflowerz Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 I'm really sorry this happened to you. I've never been in a relationship that long and it sounds incredibly difficult to let go of. But know that you can't change people. And you shouldn't have to. For the most part, someone should *want* to prioritize you, give you the time you need, be there for you, even if they are busy. I recommend you possibly seek therapy (it helps me a lot) and try and understand why exactly you continue to run back to the same things. But don't worry about him. I think you'll be much happier and better off, not even looking for someone else right now, but really taking some time to focus on yourself and your own goals. You want to be the one being chased, not the chaser. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 7 years and just "dating"? Not engaged to be married, not living together, but 7 years dating? She's only 24 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 You pretty much gave him an ultimatum. Spend time with you or give up. He chose to give up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 If she is only 24 then he must be very young as well. If this is the case OP it doesn't look good. He probably want to date around and experience other girls. I think that is healthy for both of you. Very few people end up married to the first person they date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 I know he wants to date. I always worried about that in the past and I knew it was understandable. So that's why I believe him when he says things could work in the future. Maybe he didn't know how good or bad we had it because he had never experienced anything else. In addition, there's no way he is taking my ultimatum seriously because I have done that in the past and came back. Still haven't contacted him yet and have blocked him on social media so I am not tempted to say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 You two have been together since you were 17. You don't know anything else except each other. But maybe it's time to realize you have both outgrown this relationship. Yes, it's scary but it may be time to but the cord & explore the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 How long a price of string ................ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 So my ex said he wanted to work things out in July. Not much has happened since then. We talk every now and then and see each other every now and then. He seemed to always be busy on the weekends and I work a weeks schedule during the week. I told him at the beginning of this month that I am tired of waiting for him to come around. I've been waiting for six months for him to make up his mind. I also told him I was seeing someone and had gone on a few dates with him and wanted to pursue him because I didn't have time for someone who didn't make me a priority. He then said he wanted to make Hingis work but I had to drop the guy I was seeing because he didn't want to be in a love triangle. I told him I did and he then said hmmmm I think we need to wait a month for things to settle down and for you to figure out this situation. I told him no me and that guy are done. He said let's not talk for a month so we can reset our relationship. Three days of no contact and I see him paying this girl money for golf on an application called Venmo. I called him and freaked out saying he was just stringing me along unless this girl didn't workout. He said he paid her for a party bus instead. Basically I told him I don't believe anything you say, this is bull, **** you for stringing me along for months I am done with this and I deserve so much more. I then went on a date with that guy that night at a bar and my ex sees us playing games at the bar. He stares at me the whole time. The entire time!! He even walked up and asked me if he could join in playing arcade basketball. I blew him off and he walked to his friends. I called him a day later and left a message saying hey we're done. I am done waiting. If you wanted it to work you would find a way and I deserve much more than that. It's been radio silence since. I feel terrible for all of this but I didn't actually drop the other guy because I know my ex has this habit of stringing me along and the new guy is pretty nice! Is there anything I should do in this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Is there anything I should do in this situation? Yes, you should keep moving on. Stop being his backburner girl. When someone wants to work things out with you and prioritizes the relationship they have with you, they don't leave you waiting around. Actions rather than words. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Yep, stop talking to your ex. He's only interested if he knows you are with someone else. He doesn't really want a relationship again with you, but only to know that you aren't in one while he's not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 Why would he keep staring at us from afar and try to be involved in our game? It's so freaking weird to me. Link to post Share on other sites
CeciliaCylara Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Drop your ex. Make it clear you won't want anything to do with him anymore and ignore him. From your reaction, you're still bitter. The trust is gone and it's understandable. You're standing up for yourself after playing his games. You deserve a new start with someone who won't do that. Let go of the past. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Like I said, he's not in a relationship and doesn't want to see you in one. Not that he wants you back, just hurts the ego to see you with someone else. He'll do his best to come between you and any other guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CeciliaCylara Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Why would he keep staring at us from afar and try to be involved in our game? It's so freaking weird to me. He's being jealous and possessive. That doesn't mean he really wants you for you. Let him sulk on his own and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Why would he keep staring at us from afar and try to be involved in our game? It's so freaking weird to me. There are some people out that do not want to be with you but do no want anyone else to have you as well. He doesn't like the fact that he has no control over you. When you were sitting around waiting for him, he was in control of you and keeping you on his terms. Now that you are with someone else, he's showing his displeasure because he has lost his grip on you. He's hoping you'll cave and be his backburner girl again. It's not some grand gesture of his love for you if you 're wondering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Is there anything I should do in this situation? Like what? You broke up. You tried to get back together. That didn't work. Not sure why you can see what he's paying somebody else on some app but the fact that you have this info tells me you two were never fully disconnected. You allegedly moved on & went on a date with another guy. Unfortunately your EX was in the same place as your date. What you should have done is left that place that night & gone somewhere else. Instead you decided to play games. Wouldn't surprise me if the date guy never wanted to see you again. You are not being fair or respectful to him. I digress . . . After this disaster of a date (caused by you) instead of leaving a sleeping dog (failed relationship) alone you poke your EX one more time to say we're really done this time. (Ha! You are still secretly longing for him to miraculously become a great attentive BF) The only think you should doing now is going fully NC & leaving this guy alone on all platforms. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted September 25, 2017 Author Share Posted September 25, 2017 So is he a ****ty person for this? I doubt he'll realize my worth ever. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 So is he a ****ty person for this? I doubt he'll realize my worth ever. No he won't realize your worth, ever. Now that you have been told this, are you ready to fully let go yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 So is he a ****ty person for this? I doubt he'll realize my worth ever. The question is -- do you realize your worth? If you do, you don't sit around for months waiting for someone to validate you. You have to know that this isn't what you truly deserve. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 So is he a ****ty person for this? I doubt he'll realize my worth ever. He's not a ***** person, just an immature one. Show your maturity by not playing along with his games. Focus on this new guy and see where things go. Don't allow your ex to ruin things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2017 Share Posted September 25, 2017 Focus on this new guy and see where things go. Don't allow your ex to ruin things. If it may be too late for that. In the new guy's shoes, would you go on another date with the OP after her EX tried to butt in on the 1st date & she's acting like she's not over the EX? Link to post Share on other sites
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