Highndry Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 It's not "breaking in" when he has a key. Furthermore, it doesn't seem to bother you much since you're happy to have conversation with him after said "break-in." I've also never heard of reading texts off a computer. Methinks there's pertinent info missing in regards to this story. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Call police Change locks Block him Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 It's not "breaking in" when he has a key. Furthermore, it doesn't seem to bother you much since you're happy to have conversation with him after said "break-in." I've also never heard of reading texts off a computer. Methinks there's pertinent info missing in regards to this story. If he's been moved out/broken up for a year and never relinquished his key, I think Judge Judy would find that he did indeed enter the residence without permission/illegally, even if he used a key . Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 Just like another poster noted, sounds like some info is missing. But nonetheless, sounds like the ex is a creep. Who cares what he was thinking! Who cares he is mad at you for text messages from 2015! Who cares if he was trying to manipulate anything.....you should be glad you two are not together.....Remember, you can now be open to the possibility of loving someone else. Once you broke up, why would you not change the locks? Time do this now... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 It hurts because I still love him and he is moving on to someone else. He said she was a ****ty person but he still liked her because she thought the world of him. Now he is saying she is beautiful, smart, ambitious, wealthy, and has said she loves him. He now says he is going to open himself up to loving her. I just don't know if this is the truth or if he is trying to hurt me ): Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 He's moved on. You need to. He is a sick person indeed if he thinks it's OK to use the key to your place a year after you broke up. Instead of wondering if this means there is still a chance you should be pissed as hell that invaded your home. Change the locks 1st thing Monday. You are a fool if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 I don't understand. He does like her? How could he move on like that and lie to me about her? Will he continue to be a sick person to her too eventually? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 This has to be about you -- how you will heal & live a good life. He's irrelevant, except for the fact that you need to change the locks! Of course he will eventually do something bad to her. Nobody who is demented enough to use an EX's key a year later is playing with a full deck. A Leopard doesn't change it's stripes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 12, 2017 Author Share Posted November 12, 2017 (edited) I know. It just is excruciating to see him be the man I wanted him to be all these years. A successful guy who is more independent. All because of me pushing him and setting a good example. I don't understand how this girl get everything I ever wanted from him and wanted him to do for me. I stood by his side while he was failing college. Stood by his side when he was so insecure about his appearance. I stood by him for years and I broke it off because he wasn't happy with me. Just why the **** would someone play my emotions like that? Tell me they love me and want to be with me but they're not ready right now. When I told him I was ok being his friend and that I was losing intimate feelings for me he came to my apartment the next day to find information he could use against me and he said he hated me. I was a rotten person who he never wanted to see again. Edited November 12, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 The simple answer is he grew up. By that time there was too much water under the bridge & it was time for you to be apart. Let go of him once & for all. Then go find a better guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 My ex told me this new girl he has been seeing for months is beautiful and they get along well enough and that they have some chemistry but he doesn't really feel compatible with her and that he and I had much better compatibility when it came to hanging out! On paper she is perfect. She was the president of her highschool class, has a high paying job working with disabled children, he said he and her always talk about politics (something I never enjoyed) and that she thinks he is the world and adores him so much and couldn't understand why I broke things off with him. Initially he said she was unmotivated, lazy, on loads of antidepressant medications, played video games too much, and that she was okay looking. He then told me all the Great things about her I mentioned above after reading upsetting texts I sent in 2015. I honestly don't know what to believe. He says he doesn't think things will work out between them but "we will see" I dont know what to do. She is so much better than me in all aspects and I am Shocked there's not compatibility between them. Seriously shocked. Is this all a lie? What do I believe? Can someone look perfect on paper and things still don't feel right when dating that person? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Take your ex's words seriously when he has actually broken up with his incompatible gf and is at your door with flowers begging you back. Until then nothing he says negatively about her should be given much thought. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 Meaning that she actually is great but he just hid it from me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 These were his final texts to me. Well I do think some time is needed for us both to heal and become independent. I do hope one day we can come back to another with hope and new feelings of trust for one another. I will be waiting too. I don't hate you and I'll always care about you. I will never block you and you can always reach out to me if you are in need. But I think time is need for us to heal and hopefully allow us to mature and eventually trust again. We have known each other for seven years and have done some really ****ty immature stuff to each other over the years. Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Why is he with her and not you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 He isn't dating her. He said they hang out occasionally. But they're not bf or gf. We have some of our own issues to solve but we both kind of agreed to wait a few years to mature and forget the past a little to start over. I feel like this line is bull**** because he has this new girl on the side and I'm so afraid he will fall in love with her and forget about my existence. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 There is nothing for you to do. Why, why, why are you still so hung up on your ex boyfriend? Who cares who he is dating. Comparing yourself to another woman, in any situation, is a foolish endeavour. You, need to spend some time not dating anyone and focus on your own life for a while... You need to develop more self confidence and a clearer vision of what you want from a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 You broke up with him. Why are you still in contact chatting away like friends? Do you want him back right now only because he seems to have found someone else? If you don't want him back, stop communication so like you both said, you can heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 (edited) I feel like this line is bull**** because he has this new girl on the side and I'm so afraid he will fall in love with her and forget about my existence. You should only hope that he will fall in love with her and forget about your existence. He was sleeping with both of you - at the same time. This is also the guy who broke into your apartment and went through your computer - without your consent. This guy is a jerk! Darling girl, you need to forget this guy, grow up, and develop some more maturity... This relationship is totally unhealthy and dysfunctional for you. Edited November 15, 2017 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Meaning that she actually is great but he just hid it from me? Obviously something is great about her or he wouldn't be hanging out with her. There are millions of other girls to chose from. Maybe they aren't as compatible as you two in terms of what they like to do in their past times but that doesn't mean they are incompatible in all things (if you know what I mean). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 He says he likes her because he can trust her (they've known each other for like three months) and that she is happy when he is around her. He still talks to me though and has been seeing me and having sex with me for months still. Does he really like her if he continued to see me and have sex with me while also seeing her? Or does he just not want to be alone? Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 He says he likes her because he can trust her (they've known each other for like three months) and that she is happy when he is around her. He still talks to me though and has been seeing me and having sex with me for months still. Does he really like her if he continued to see me and have sex with me while also seeing her? Or does he just not want to be alone? Not only is he having his cake and eating it.. he’s hand selecting all of the ingredients! Lucky guy! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 You really need to stop having sex with this guy & stop talking to him. He let himself into your house without your permission a while ago & destroyed personal correspondence. That's a crime. You & he broke up for valid reasons. Him dating her & having sex with you makes him a liar & a cheater. What have you really gained by taking such a person back? You have started seeing some other guy. Does he know you are still having sex with your EX? if you told him, I bet he hightail it out of your life. You will be so much better off once you get this EX out of every aspect of your life for good. Until you do, you will continue to be miserable. The choice is yours. I expect you will make the wrong one. Best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Guys like the OP's ex are why there are so many bitter women out there who claim that there are "no good men left." Unfortunately, people like the OP only reinforce the behavior of people like her ex since there are not consequences for a long time, if ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riot21 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Then why does he still talk to me? It's so weird! He's like I like her because she likes me and can trust her but he says they're not compatible. Now that he was upset about finding stuff in my apartment he literally is telling me he now wants to make things work out with her and that he hates me and he can now potentially see her as marriage material. Is he doing this just to hurt me because he is mad? Link to post Share on other sites
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