Thank you all, but I'm still so worried

[ReallyConfused]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my first post about ending my 15 year relationship.

 

I've thought a lot about it and I think all of you are right. It is wrong of me to continue my marriage if I'm only in it because of my concern for her well being. I guess I'm just one of those people who never want to hurt anybody, even if it means hurting myself.

 

My wife will return from visiting her family tomorrow night. I'm trying to get up the courage to sit down with her and talk about my feelings, but there are so many "what if's" running through my mind now... I'm terrified.

 

How do you tell someone you've known for 15 years that you view her as a best friend, and love her like a sister, but don't see her as a wife? I just feel so awful about it.

 

She is so emotionally fragile, I just know this will devistate her. She loves me so much.... how can I hurt her like this?

 

But I know....it is very wrong for me to continue to live a lie. And I know I will never be able to give her what she wants in a marriage, so it is certainly unfair for me to go on pretending like things are fine. I just hope and pray we can get through this and still be friends. I really do want the best for her.

 

I guess I just need support.

 

Thanks

[Tony T]

Let her know it's absolutely because you want the very best for her that you are communicatiing your feelings. You are living a lie and she is as well.

 

The only way she can find bona fide passionate real romance is to be with someone who feels about her that same way.

 

Remember, you have absolutely no power to hurt her. She can only hurt herself. Sure, she will feel bad for a while but at the same time she should be very grateful for your forthrightness and honesty.

 

Above all else, you must do this for yourself. You only live once and you can't put yourself through this any longer. I know it will be painful for you but you must not procrastinate. Get this all out in the open and go from there.

 

You'll be by her side and if she needs psychological counselling or assistance, you can get that for her. But doing this is looking out for the both of you.

[ReallyConfused]

Thanks Tony. I appreciate the upfront & honest way you have answered my questions. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but it is the right thing to do.

[Ashesmum]

I agree with Tony, the only different is having a couple drinks before to relax you and take the edge off. Only a couple though!

Let her know it's absolutely because you want the very best for her that you are communicatiing your feelings. You are living a lie and she is as well. The only way she can find bona fide passionate real romance is to be with someone who feels about her that same way. Remember, you have absolutely no power to hurt her. She can only hurt herself. Sure, she will feel bad for a while but at the same time she should be very grateful for your forthrightness and honesty. Above all else, you must do this for yourself. You only live once and you can't put yourself through this any longer. I know it will be painful for you but you must not procrastinate. Get this all out in the open and go from there. You'll be by her side and if she needs psychological counselling or assistance, you can get that for her. But doing this is looking out for the both of you.