Jagged100 Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 What do you do if the fear of regretting leaving is equal to the fear of what you will find in life if you leave. In this situation do you pick your wife and not hurt her or do you pick your self and go your own way. It crushes me the pain I will cause my spouse do I keep working since niether has cheated and no physical abuse would it be more manly to stay in a marriage and fix it or leave so wife can have a chance to meet someone . Pick yourself, you're not doing her any favours by living in a clearly disfunctional relationship. It's the loneliest feeling in the world to be with someone who isn't certain they want to be with you. You'll hurt her more over time if you stay, rather let her be free to make a new life. Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 How is your communication with your wife? Whatever you are dealing with, if you feel that you cannot talk to your wife and need support from elsewhere, that in and of itself is a red flag that your bond, trust, and connection is weak with your wife. What do you think would happen if you say out loud all your concerns openly to your wife--without editing, just with absolute honesty? Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 Note: we've merged 5 similar threads for context. ~6 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused2020 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Share Posted July 30, 2017 Note: we've merged 5 similar threads for context. ~6 Your merging did not help at all and was unprofessional will no longer be able to get advice from this thread. I am just leaving wife Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused2020 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Share Posted July 30, 2017 How is your communication with your wife? Whatever you are dealing with, if you feel that you cannot talk to your wife and need support from elsewhere, that in and of itself is a red flag that your bond, trust, and connection is weak with your wife. What do you think would happen if you say out loud all your concerns openly to your wife--without editing, just with absolute honesty? I have always been very honest with my wife including how I feel. When I tell her I want to work on things she brings up all the things I have said and done. We are suppose to be separating in a couple weeks and I am moving to another state. I have had feelings it is a mistake and I will regret plus not find someone better with all my issues. I have a bad foot with dead bone, mental health condition, and in between careers. I told my wife let's work on it she said she would not go to therapy because it's too emotional. Last night I said one more time let's work on things last night and today she kept bringing up ways I treated her in past and how we should be having a kid right now. I did not feel I can say let's have a kid when we need to work on things so I said fine I will leave and now we not talking we were suppose to go to beach today I did not go why hangout with wife if separating in couple weeks. Now we in seperate rooms doing nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused2020 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Share Posted July 30, 2017 Note: we've merged 5 similar threads for context. ~6 I still can't believe how horribly you merged my threads you kept the most insignificant and deleted the most significant thread plus title not sure how I can get correct advice . You did a real chop job on someone's emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 You are right that instead of cheat, you would divorce. Don't feel bad for saying that. Once she digests it, it will give her the most promise of security anyone has, which is that hopefully their man isn't cheating or going to unless the marriage falls apart. Any of us could meet someone we were tempted by tomorrow. Whether that person proved to be long-term is much less certain than how attracted we are at first to just having a fresh new person to get to know. If you value your wife, just keep exercising discipline -- and be polite and stop staring at other women. That is so disrespectful to all concerned. Don't feel her jealousy. No one likes a swivel-head, not even that perfect woman you think may be out there. THAT woman would drop you the first time you looked over her shoulder at the waitress, my friend. So don't go getting cocky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused2020 Posted July 30, 2017 Author Share Posted July 30, 2017 Well it appears we are separating over the next couple weeks a gave a final push but she brought up so many things plus having a kid and I felt overwhelmed . The plan is for me to move to another state I have wanted to move to in couple weeks we have been talking about this for year. Is it normal to feel weak like your going to throw up? I packed a box and felt dizzy and just got back in bed. Moving all the rest of my stuff to storage over next week going to other state to apartment hunt in one week. Link to post Share on other sites
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