He says I am So Dumb for doing this. Am I? [I’m going to meet my online lover.]

[LovelyRose]

Hi OP,

 

I'm really glad you cancelled the hotel and cut ties with both your online dudes ( if I understood it correctly). Seriously, they both sounded toxic already and weird.

 

I am in my mid 30's as well and single mom of two. Just like you I don't really go out, I don't confide to my family and really do my best not to run to my close friends. In short, I pretty much keep most things to myself. I am extremely insecure of my stretch marks, haha. But the love I have for my kids are so great that it doesn't matter whether I am alone or not. As long as they are happy and safe, I'm good.

 

But I also feel that it's normal to want to have someone to share your life with. So I had a very short moment where I tried meeting guys online, but I targeted guys locally. I actually met few decent ones who until now I am friends with. Romantically wise none worked out but who cares. Only reason why I ended up in a long distance dating now is because my guy happens to be my cousin's best friend and they live in another state.

 

Yes, in our case it could be more challenging. But not impossible. You need to start loving yourself more first and feel great about yourself. It's ok to have insecurities but don't let those drag you down. Know your worth and your inner strength. Once you do that, everything else will follow. You would know not to settle for anything less.

 

I am not perfect and still have down moments. But I make sure that after that moment has passed, I get back up and recharge.

 

So i sincerely wish you good luck in everything you do and please do take care! Try to meditate, listen to meditation music etc. They do help me a lot.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Yes I do but that won't help because I don't have anywhere to go or anyone to go with.

 

Ok. I just wanted to know if you had support so that as you focus more on dating locally, you'd have the time and opportunity. With your 'online' friends and interactions, I wasn't certain if you had such consistent support available.

 

With such support available, get out and work on yourself. Go find activities to engage in and/or groups. You may find some interesting guys out there. Try online dating as LovelyRose has done, just get out and find some YOU time.

[stillafool]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Edited August 15, 2017 by stillafool

[stillafool]

You are right about all of this. I knew it was bad news, in the beginning, to even talk to him but I will admit I kept it up out of loneliness. I don't have success in meeting men locally as I've said the ones that approach me are much older like old enough to be my dad, are homeless or have some sort of dependency. I am really going to try to distance myself from men and the dating world. I guess it's just not meant for me right now. It will be tough but I will figure it out.

 

Yeah but a guy who is 21 is not ready to date an older woman with a kid. You have to date guys who are appropriate to be serious with because you have to consider your child. If you didn't have a child it wouldn't matter.