I love my boyfriend but keep thinking about another guy?

[Littlefish]

I'm 20, and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (Jack) for over 3 years. We met at school when we were 17 and were great friends for a while before we started dating, so we get on really well he's my best friend as well as me boyfriend. We've had a fairly long distance relationship for the last 2 years because we go to different universities, but it has worked out well. He's been so good to me and has stuck by me through very tough times in the past year and half when I was very ill. He was one of only people I saw when i was ill and I think it made us closer.

 

However there's this guy, Michael, who I met at uni on my course and he became one of my closer friends there. We get on really well, have similar interests, and Michael is always looking out for me, just like my other guy friends, especially on nights out when creepy dudes are around ? The problem is I think I like him as more than a friend. If I wasn't in a relationship with Jack when I met Michael I probably would have made a move. It's been really annoying me because Michael is such a great friend and I don't want to ruin that, but I can't help but wonder if he has feelings for me too? I know he wouldn't easily admit to it even if he did because he is too respectful of me and jacks relationship. But I really want to know, I get vibes from him that he likes me but he is holding back because I'm in a relationship. I feel really guilty because I love jack but part of me just wants to try going out with Michael.

 

I recently met up with Michael and some friends, and when My friend shannon asked Michael if there is a girl he likes, he apparently said there is but she is in a relationship so he is waiting to see what happens. Shannon then told me this. Now I don't know if he was referring to me or some other girl that I don't know but it is a suspicious. I should probably mention that he has been in a serious relationship with another girl in the time that I've known him, but it didn't work out after a year and I believe he's had a few one night stands and tinder dates since but nothing serious yet. Honestly I just want to find out if he likes me or not, because these feelings I'm having are torturing me. I just don't know how to find out. If he doesn't like me then I'll just try forget it and carry on as friends. If it turns out he does like me then I don't know what I'll do.

 

How can I found out if he likes me or not?

[MonkeyLogic]

First, break up with your boyfriend. There is so much personal growth between 17 and your early 20s that the likelihood of you staying with your high school boyfriend forever is slim. So move on as it's clearly what you want to do and would show much more integrity than keeping him around while you're interested in another guy. If having integrity is important to you that is...at 20 it might not be high on your list of priorities...

 

Once you break up with your boyfriend you will find out if Michael likes you as he's already said that the girl he likes is in a relationship and he's just waiting it out. If you're the girl, he'll make his move after you break up. If not, he won't.

[Apple1977]

yeah because that fare aint it on your b/f who stood by you for 3 years, imagine how he will feel you women are thoughtless sometimes I know I stood by a women who was sex attacked who kept pushing my love away who I waited for while she got her career at sea, only to watch her treat me bad abouse my love manipulate me and then cheat on me 3 times ....

[d0nnivain]

Your childhood romance is waning.

 

You can't find out if the new guy likes you while you are still with your BF. The new guy has enough class & sense to keep his distance because you are taken. You are looking for a safety net. You don't want to give up the security of having a BF until you know you can slide straight into the next relationship. That is unhealthy because you don't have a chance to grieve the loss of your young love nor do you have time to process what happened. You in essence rebound into the new guy because you are too afraid or too immature to be independent. That is not a crack; many people feel that way. But you deprive yourself of a growth opportunity.

 

Plus the new guy doesn't want to be a rebound or a safety net.

[sandylee1]

I would break up with Jack and then see how it goes with the other guy.

 

You have years ahead of you and if you feel this attraction for another guy now, then go for it, once you've split with your BF.