Interracial dating

[fred123]

I dont know how many people have dated outside their race and if their is some sort of stigma about it. But i have decided i wont do that anymore. I will only date my race. I used to be the sort of guy who looks at people or women and see theough their race or colour etc as that means nothing to me. I like people for their hearts and smile etc.

But i realised racism is still prevalent in society and i have felt at time dating " caucasian" girls that they are superior to people like me and so il stay away.

 

Just so much easier now i understand why people stick to their own race. Probably its because a lot of people out their have some racism tendencies unfortunately.

[DKT3]

Why does it matter what others think and/or say?

 

I've been in a interracial relationship coming up on 30 years. We are vastly different, me being a black man born and raised in South Central Los Angeles her being a Welch born Italian white women. More importantly we are from vastly different socioeconomic backgrounds. Me being from a working class family and her being extremely wealthy. We love one another that's what matters, I could give a flip what others think.

[fred123]

Why does it matter what others think and/or say?

 

I've been in a interracial relationship coming up on 30 years. We are vastly different, me being a black man born and raised in South Central Los Angeles her being a Welch born Italian white women. More importantly we are from vastly different socioeconomic backgrounds. Me being from a working class family and her being extremely wealthy. We love one another that's what matters, I could give a flip what others think.

 

You misunderstood my.post. i have no issue. Its the girls that have the issue with me . Im an indian guy born in the UK

[Gr8fuln2020]

You misunderstood my.post. i have no issue. Its the girls that have the issue with me . Im an indian guy born in the UK

 

I am with DKT3. You shouldn't care what others think. Racism is alive and well and you are not going to change how others think about YOUR relationship with women who are of a different ethnic group. You simply focus on the ladies that will give you the time of day. I have always been in interracial/multi-ethnic relationships. My ex is beautiful, fair skinned, Welsh and I am far from any of that. Except for beautiful. I am gorgeous! (jk!). Anyway, you don't stop dating those you prefer b/c of the general racist attitudes of others.

 

Now, if your issue is that you are difficulty attracting white women, perhaps you should take a look at what it is that you offer and why they are not attracted to you. I would imagine that many of the ladies who see you are immediately questioning your cultural, religious perspectives and likely would not involve themselves with someone who may not complement their own cultural, world view. If so, that isn't necessarily racism...rather, comfort.

[DKT3]

You misunderstood my.post. i have no issue. Its the girls that have the issue with me . Im an indian guy born in the UK

 

Well that's simple, don't that girl. One doesn't speak for the entire race.

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

Just so much easier now i understand why people stick to their own race. Probably its because a lot of people out their have some racism tendencies unfortunately.

 

That's not really the reason most people stick to their own race.

 

It's because they're not physically attracted to our races. They think we look like monkeys.

[elaine567]

You misunderstood my.post. i have no issue. Its the girls that have the issue with me . Im an indian guy born in the UK

 

Any girl that has issues with who you basically are, is someone you avoid, that is a given.

There is no need to bring racism into it.

Dating is all about finding compatible people and so if you honestly do not think that "Caucasian" women appreciate you, then you are perfectly within your rights to seek out others.

 

I am just a bit concerned that you feel the entire "Caucasian" female population ALL think in the same way...

[SwordofFlame]

It's generally a lot harder for men of minority races to date Caucasian women. Whereas the opposite is not true for Caucasian men looking to date women of minority races. Call it racism, call it white male privilege, it is what it is.

[elaine567]

It's generally a lot harder for men of minority races to date Caucasian women. Whereas the opposite is not true for Caucasian men looking to date women of minority races. Call it racism, call it white male privilege, it is what it is.

 

 

Yes, but apparently the OP has been dating "Caucasion women" so attracting them isn't really the issue.

[smackie9]

It's not the 1950's, I have yet to see anyone complain about it where I live. It's the norm to see interracial mixed couples. My friend is a fat Fijian and he had many white GFs. Most were crazy mind you.....now he found himself a nice stable south asian girl with a good career, her own house, etc.

 

Not dating people of other races is not racism....it's preference/ what you find attractive. We've had this argument before. I dated Caucasian men not because I don't like other races, it's what I find attractive TO ME.

[Bastile]

You misunderstood my.post. i have no issue. Its the girls that have the issue with me . Im an indian guy born in the UK

 

One of my closest friends growing up was Indian (literally close, because we lived a few doors apart).

 

He was lightyears ahead of the most of us when it came to women. A real early bloomer.

 

However, he had a very big mouth, but couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. His mouth would write checks that his arse couldn't cash. I even gave him a smack once.

 

"People hit me, because I'm Indian!", he would sometimes bemoan.

 

But you know, it was the funniest thing. When he learnt to be a bit smarter, got more of a sense of humour, and stopped causing trouble that he couldn't handle, he stopped getting a slap. I believe this is commonly referred to as "growing up".

 

So, I guess people use excuses for whatever shortcomings they have...

 

I strongly suggest you stop with the victim mentality. And start being more of a pragmatist.

[Usename12]

First, I don't understand why when we talk about dating inter-racially, we talk about Caucasian women as if that's the pinnacle of women to date. As an Indian, there are Hispanic women, Middle Eastern women, African women, Asian women, etc and that's all interracial. And if a woman from another race/culture isn't comfortable dating an Indian man, that doesn't make them any more racist than an Indian man not comfortable dating a woman from certain races, be it African, Asian, whatever.

[DKT3]

It's not the 1950's, I have yet to see anyone complain about it where I live. It's the norm to see interracial mixed couples. My friend is a fat Fijian and he had many white GFs. Most were crazy mind you.....now he found himself a nice stable south asian girl with a good career, her own house, etc.

 

Not dating people of other races is not racism....it's preference/ what you find attractive. We've had this argument before. I dated Caucasian men not because I don't like other races, it's what I find attractive TO ME.

 

It's racism when you say I don't find them attractive...I mean an entire race of people? That goes beyond preference and wonders into prejudice, doesn't matter if you're willing to admit it or not.

[somanymistakes]

I've seen a lot of attractive men of races other than my own, but usually actors or models, so I don't get much chance to date them, lol. My social circles are mostly made up of people from backgrounds similar to my own. My first proper crush as a teenager was on a Japanese guy I met at a summer camp, though, but he wasn't interested.

 

So for me it's more about opportunity.

[Mrlonelyone]

OP FWIW I am a transgender woman of color and I have dated men and women who were tomboyish and out right transmen (female to male.)

 

IME people are more bothered by interracial than they are by queerness. I say that as a person who is part of the LGBT. I've even heard other LGBT people talk smack about an interracial lesbian couple.

 

My family is of a color which depending on who's looking can look black, or Puerto Rican or just hard to pin down. We are very mixed but American back to before 1776...yet my parents caught heck in their relationships until they found eachother. People of about the same shade of brown from the Missouri River valley. The most midwestern of midwestern US regions.

 

Being of the same color and culture HELPS A LOT. Not only will people give you less crap, there will be less static between you.

 

THAT SAID

 

Never rule out so much of humanity to stick to "your race". Suppose you are a black american... are you racially and culturally the same as someone fresh from KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa? Heck no!

 

TLDR

 

I agree sticking to ones race makes a lot of things easier. Even very young otherwise liberal seeming people have a problem with interracial couples. Plus there is less reason of misunderstandings. Just don't write off most of humanity forever. Be open to love, and when you find the real thing hold onto it.

[Miss Spider]

Hmmmm that's interesting to know, mrlonelyone. That prejudice like that still exists in a group like that.

 

 

 

I've seen a lot of attractive men of races other than my own, but usually actors or models, so I don't get much chance to date them, lol. My social circles are mostly made up of people from backgrounds similar to my own. My first proper crush as a teenager was on a Japanese guy I met at a summer camp, though, but he wasn't interested.

 

So for me it's more about opportunity.

 

Yeah... Im 1/2 and 1/2... so I don't know who I'm supposed to stick to..it's about opportunity. Asian guys really are not common around here and rarely show interest in me. Just based on what I've heard the vast majority of East Asian (Japanese, Korean) men prefer to date within their 'race'

Edited July 29, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[alphamale]

It's generally a lot harder for men of minority races to date Caucasian women. Whereas the opposite is not true for Caucasian men looking to date women of minority races. Call it racism, call it white male privilege, it is what it is.

I'd say that is pretty accurate. Minority men have to bring a lot to the table if they want to date good looking and smart white chicks.

[The Urbanyst]

I dont know how many people have dated outside their race and if their is some sort of stigma about it. But i have decided i wont do that anymore. I will only date my race. I used to be the sort of guy who looks at people or women and see theough their race or colour etc as that means nothing to me. I like people for their hearts and smile etc.

But i realised racism is still prevalent in society and i have felt at time dating " caucasian" girls that they are superior to people like me and so il stay away.

 

Just so much easier now i understand why people stick to their own race. Probably its because a lot of people out their have some racism tendencies unfortunately.

 

So basically.. your happiness is less important to you than the opinion of a few racists.

 

That's both sad and funny.

[spiderowl]

I think it depends on both people and their attitudes to other races. If one or the other has any prejudice then that is going to affect things as they will not be able to stand up for their partner. They may need to stand up for them with friends or relatives. I think religious differences can be more of a problem. Even if both try to work round these, relatives often get involved and can exert considerable pressure, especially where there are extended families to consider.

[coolheadal]

Please can't we all get along and stop talking about like this. Really does it really matter who you are inside and out. Shouldn't be like this. I can't wait for the time when everyone really loves each other. I see that won't happen to the year 3000 AD. Because at this rate we are still acting like we're not ready for anything different than the same old way of life. The color of one skin shouldn't matter today. We're all the same inside, you should think about that.

[jay1983]

These conversations are funny. Dudes angry that a woman from another race won't date them. What does it say about those dudes that they are fixated on women from other races? Who is the racist?

 

I see women dating men from other races all the time. They probably won't date a guy who calls women racist though. Just a thought.

 

As I reentered the dating scene in my early 30's via night life and dating sites, I noticed most desirable women in their late 20's, early 30's even 40's were white. What I mean by desirable is decent weight and job, without 6 kids and a deadbeat baby daddy. Obesity and thug culture hits the minority community much harder. Along with that was their requirements. I knew some white women wouldn't dateout of race, I thought maybe half or so. It was more 90%. Kind of a bummer, but it is what it is.

[takeoff]

I always wonder about cultural differences when people date outside of their race. I have dated a few white guys but they were a little more passive then I was used to.

[Sweetfish]

It's generally a lot harder for men of minority races to date Caucasian women. Whereas the opposite is not true for Caucasian men looking to date women of minority races. Call it racism, call it white male privilege, it is what it is.

 

 

Crank up your education.

Master a niche.

Fix as many of your own flaws.

Build wealth.

Appericate your self.

 

Doesnt matter what race you are, people will gravitate towards you... its not being comfortable in your own skin that causes you all these problems and it shows. Many same race relationship have mountains of problem.. so jumping fence is no safe place. So funny how people think whites have privileges. Never onces saw a scholarship for whites only. Btw. I am not white.

[sandylee1]

You should date whoever you feel comfortable dating. I think it's rather ignorant to speak for an entire race, based on limited experiences.

 

We're all individuals regardless of race.

 

If dating outside of your race comes with family pressures or major cultural differences, then I understand you choosing not to do that.

 

Times have moved on and interracial relationships don't bring all the attention they used to, but I wouldn't ever say it's not an issue to consider.

[Zip Silver]

I found it so surprising when I read that a lot of Indian guys feel they struggle dating white chicks. I'm as white as they come and my partner is Indian. He's by far the hottest, smartest and most caring guy I've ever dated. The only cultural issues that crop up are our different philosophies on family values (him being from a huge close Asian family, me being more independent and not so family orientated). I struck absolute jackpot with him, it would never have crossed my mind to dismiss the idea of dating him due to his ethnicity.

 

Sadly, while my family accept him completely from day one, I can't say the same for parts of his family, who look down on him dating a white non Sikh girl like me.