Really struggling

[mercedesgirl]

Hi guys, I need some help. I'm struggling with life. My oldest son's illness (terminal brain tumour) has turned my life upside down. My 6 yr relationship suffered because of my anxieties about my son, and ended a couple of months ago. I messaged him last week about my car (he is a technician and looked after my cars) and just chatting I asked was he with some one. He said yes! It really upset me because he's said he was not gonna get involved with anyone. Mind you he did say he wasn't looking for anyone it just happened! Anyways, I've been really struggling with it all to the extent that I've wanted to end my life because I can't cope with everything that is going on. I had 6 sessions of therapy that helped but have ended.

 

How do you guys cope, I have such highs and then some scary lows where I feel I loose all level of reality and it frightens me. I cry st the slightest thing, think of him all the time with his new partner it's destroying me. I talk to my youngest son a lot, he has been a great support, but the trouble is he hated my partner , so however supportive he is, he doesn't want me to even think about him.

 

Please help me x

Edited July 29, 2017 by mercedesgirl

[d0nnivain]

My heart breaks for you.

 

 

Is there a support group for the family of people with your son's condition? Ask around. There is probably a group that you can talk to so you don't feel like you are the only one in the world going through this.

 

 

Sadly once you & your SO split, he was free to find somebody else & he did. For your own sake, believe him when he says it just happened but do understand he's not coming back. Sorry.

 

 

Love your son. Surround yourself with supportive friends & family. Make memories while you can. Pray. There really isn't anything else.

[mercedesgirl]

Thanks the trouble is my ill son has pushed us all away so I have no contact with him and get very little info on how he is

I need to self support myself rather than depend on family and the I don't have any friends I feel comfy talking to. I pray every nite for guidance x

[Soak]

Hey hun,

 

Just letting you know i am thinking of you, and i hope thimgs get better really soon.

 

Do you have other things, maybe a 'positive' you can think about?

[mercedesgirl]

Thanks, atm I can't think of anything positive. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I don't feel good about myself I've really let myself go ,I don't eat...

[Amas5750]

Hey hun. .... ok .... you dont have to look at yourself in the mirror. Forget that.

You need to focus on the smallest stuff e.g. feeding yourself nutricious food... really make that one of your small goals.

Force yourself to eat a fair amount and make it healthy including veges.... i know u probably do NOT feel like it but you MUST focus on it and force it.

I really want u to make this a small focus.

[mercedesgirl]

Thanks, its just so easy to not eat I know people don't understand it which makes it hard to talk about but I will try, its a vicious cycle because I feel bad because I haven't eaten but then I don't feel like eating! Take each day at a time too, I look too far ahead and it's scary thanks again

[bummer]

Keep talking to us to help you work through the feelings and thoughts.

 

Focus on how happy your youngest makes you feel sometimes when you feel down. As you say, don't project too far ahead, just stay here in this present place and reflect on your blessings!

 

Did you eat something?

[spiderowl]

I am so sorry for what you have gone through. The ground has been pulled out from under you. It is not surprising that you are feeling shaken and devastated. Anyone would be the same in your situation.

 

I wonder if there is a support group nearby? That might help. I think it is really tough going through any uncommon experience that affects you so profoundly. You are bound to be grieving two losses so allow yourself to grieve, cry, whatever you feel you need. I am sure your mind and heart have a lot to process and this is a natural thing. If you can ride this out, sharing with friends, family and therapists, eventually the clouds should start to lift. I know that does not mean anything at the moment.

 

Please talk to your doctor. Maybe they have other resources they can call upon. You can always post here. That is what is forum is for and there are many people who will try to help.

[Sweetfish]

Hi guys, I need some help. I'm struggling with life. My oldest son's illness (terminal brain tumour) has turned my life upside down. My 6 yr relationship suffered because of my anxieties about my son, and ended a couple of months ago. I messaged him last week about my car (he is a technician and looked after my cars) and just chatting I asked was he with some one. He said yes! It really upset me because he's said he was not gonna get involved with anyone. Mind you he did say he wasn't looking for anyone it just happened! Anyways, I've been really struggling with it all to the extent that I've wanted to end my life because I can't cope with everything that is going on. I had 6 sessions of therapy that helped but have ended.

 

How do you guys cope, I have such highs and then some scary lows where I feel I loose all level of reality and it frightens me. I cry st the slightest thing, think of him all the time with his new partner it's destroying me. I talk to my youngest son a lot, he has been a great support, but the trouble is he hated my partner , so however supportive he is, he doesn't want me to even think about him.

 

Please help me x

 

 

Can I ask you a question? What kind of guys are you dating and where is the father of your son?