vanhalenfan Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 I've got a question for those who either go on business trips or have a partner who does...My fiance is helping his brother with business overseas (we live in the states). It's a complicated ordeal so he's there often...3 weeks there, 2 weeks back here, 3 weeks back there again, back and forth. He's on his 3rd trip right now and this intends to continue for at least a year. When your significant other is away on business, how often do you communicate? Daily? Twice daily? Every few days? I am a stickler for daily communication, always have been. I prefer to have a phone call before bed at night...catch up on whatever, say good night. It can be a 5 minute call, it can be a 20 minute call, or longer. Whatever. Especially since he's away so often, I need that "closeness". I miss him a lot. (Actually, this trip he will be away for a month.) Sometimes I'll even call him during the day or have a video call with our 2 year old daughter during the day. But it seems I really have to have that "nightly call" to feel comfortable. I should also mention I suffer from anxiety so that may be a contributing factor to frequent communication. Sometimes I think I am "bothering" him...He doesn't require as much communication as I do, but he does it for me. I don't want to be a bother though...so...I am wondering what is normal out there. Taking into consideration that these trips are long-term business trips, too... TIA Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 It depends on a lot of factors. For overseas business trips, the main problem for daily calls is timezones. You "prefer to have a phone call before bed at night", but what time would that be for him? If it's in the middle of the work day, I don't think it's realistic to ask him to excuse himself from work to call you every day. If you could be more flexible with the timing of the call, then a daily call might be more feasible. When one of us is travelling, the SO and I do try to get a call in daily. Key word being 'try'. Sometimes we fail if timezones are too different. During my last work trip, we were apart for a few weeks with a large timezone difference and I was very busy, so we spoke on the phone probably once every 2-3 days. I definitely wouldn't "expect" a nightly call in that scenario and he wouldn't either. In general I think "expecting" or "requiring" something every day is not a good thing for a relationship. Eventually the other person starts to resent it and find it a chore, even if it is an activity they used to enjoy. This holds true for both sex and phone calls. I think it would be best for you to let him know you enjoy frequent calls, and see what that brings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanhalenfan Posted July 30, 2017 Author Share Posted July 30, 2017 Elswyth - We're actually in the same time zone...I am EST and he is down in the Carribbean so it matches up! Thank you for the advice. I appreciate hearing some feedback. It's interesting what you say about expectations and requirements. You're right on the money there in saying it's not good for a relationship to always require the same thing daily as daily life is not static and things change, sometimes out of our control. I am trying to put things into perspective. Thanks again for your reply 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 When my husband travels for business we usually exchange wake up / good morning texts; we talk in early evening when he gets out of work / class. WE text again when going to bed. We tried talking when going to bed but we have different sleep schedules so that didn't work. Either I'd catch him at a late dinner with colleagues or he'd wake me up as I'd been asleep for a while. I would never have expected such level of contact from a BF. Every day or two would have been enough. Even if we miss each other, we just assume the other was busy, not that there is anything nefarious going on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JHandy Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 When I was away for a long period of time, my now wife and then fiancé called me every day and a few times each of those days. It was annoying at times. But I missed them when she didn't call. I just decided to let her call when she wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 My husband used to travel up to six weeks at a time for work (sometimes similar time zones others totally opposite). We would text a lot. Several times a day, good morning and good night for sure.... But any time something amused us etc we would share via texts, send each other photos etc. As for phone calls, more like several times a week, not daily, but we did have some calls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 Similar to others, we text a lot but usually get in one telephone call in the evening. I am the one who typically travels so I usually text when I land and then when I get back to the hotel each night. Then, good morning, good luck texts during the day. In the evening, we text to set up a good call time and usually chat for about a half hour/hour. Mostly catching up on our days. We are typically in the same time zone but when I travel out west, it gets a little tricky and we may only get in "good night" texts on one or more days and then plan to catch up better on the other days. Link to post Share on other sites
Birdies Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 I travel a lot for my job (often gone Monday night - Friday afternoon) in the spring and summer, and my now-ex-husband worked night shifts as a nurse, so we spent a lot of time apart. I really really wanted and needed to communicate with him at least once a day, even if it was just a text saying "Hey, good night sweetie, love you". We usually did, but there were also many days where I couldn't get ahold of him and wouldn't hear from him at all. It drove me CRAZY. With all that time apart, you really need to feel like there's still a mutual effort to be connected. We're divorced now. I had an affair, and I know that feeling like he didn't put much effort into showing me that he loved me (in more ways than just this) was a big contributing factor to me justifying the affair to myself. I think at least a brief period of daily communication, especially when he's gone for so long AND you have a kid, is not much to ask!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 On a regular day, my husband will send me a good morning text and also call me at some point in the afternoon. The daytime texts started when we were dating and they have continued. When he is away on business, my husband will text me and he will also call twice a day. Link to post Share on other sites
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