Have you met anyone decent through online dating?

[Steve51]

I have not used online dating but two male and one female friend have and are married to someone they met on a dating site. One is married for 25 years. They also told me that both the older divorced women are quick to have sex because for most they have not had any since their divorce and have no place really to meet guys. Not so much for the younger women. Our girlfriend dated a lot of men but did not have sex with them.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I also discovered that many people who use OLD are serial daters (I was one of them, unfortunately) and that has it's downsides. I had many great first few dates with women because they had quite a bit of dating experience and could put on a good show. But things fell apart down the road because some serious red-flags were masked by that dating experience. I went out with a woman a few times and we had a great time together. However, when I cancelled a date with two day's notice because of work, she flipped out and text bombed me for two hours. It was a complete 180 from what I had experienced on our dates.

 

I wouldn't say that many people who use OLD are serial daters. Yes, there are definitely some people who not only take up permanent residence on OLD but do so on multiple sites. THOSE are the ones to stay clear of at all cost. Nothing good comes from those daters.

 

The rest, as I've noticed, come and go.

[OatsAndHall]

I wouldn't say that many people who use OLD are serial daters. Yes, there are definitely some people who not only take up permanent residence on OLD but do so on multiple sites. THOSE are the ones to stay clear of at all cost. Nothing good comes from those daters.

 

The rest, as I've noticed, come and go.

 

I s'pose it varies from area to area. I live in a state that's pretty sparsely populated with A LOT of distance between cities. So, a ton of people use OLD and there are a lot of LRDs. And, many of them use multiple OLD sites as well. I used OLD off and on for about two years and saw the same women on there every time I reactivated my account. New "matches" would pop up here and there put it was generally the same faces. I imagine it's the same for women as well.

 

Lol... I remember the first few days after opening up my POF account. I got fifteen messages from fifteen different women and went out on about ten dates. Most of them were nice enough women but nothing came out of the dates. Almost two year later to the day, I reactivated the account and saw most of the same fifteen women on there.

 

At the end of the day, OLD is an animal in and of itself. It has it's ups and it has it's downs. Some people have great experiences with it and others just don't. All of my OLD accounts are down for the count and they'll probably stay that way. Meeting women in RL is more enjoyable for me.

[Popsicle]

Yes, but many things are much easier to hide online. It is much harder to deceive somebody in person. That's also why I believe that there is an adverse selection process at work when it comes to online dating.

 

 

 

I think the main problem with offline is that many people are simply scared to approach another person. Those who aren't won't mind if the person they are approaching is taken all that much. I can't recount the times I've had a fun chat with somebody already in a relationship. But for an introvert or somebody with social anxieties this would probably be pure hell.

 

 

 

Oh believe me, I won't argue with you, I agree all about the pitfalls of online. I'm not really talking about having a fun chat with people though, (I do that a lot -big talker here). I just find that most of the time, the attractive guys that I engage with offline are already taken. And I would like to find someone to date.

[Chilli]

Every time this comes up at least someone mentions people that met and married so you know , just goes to show things can happen.

 

There was this just one l found and talked too, l think that could've gone anywhere, but she disappeared.

l think she got scared tbh, she'd only had 2 date in 8yrs, divorced,got the feeling whenever crunch time came she just couldn't quite pluck up the courage from things she said.

Didn't see her on there again .Damn , really wanted to meet her.

[CptInsano]

Oh believe me, I won't argue with you, I agree all about the pitfalls of online. I'm not really talking about having a fun chat with people though, (I do that a lot -big talker here). I just find that most of the time, the attractive guys that I engage with offline are already taken. And I would like to find someone to date.

 

But isn't that the nature of the beast, meaning that attractive people who want a relationship are usually taken? Or are you saying that attractive people online are not taken, or at least multi-dating? If so, that would be a new perspective for me. Or is it that you are in a social circle that consists mostly of couples?

[HarmonyDriven]

IMO, online dating does work. As others have said, you need to filter appropriately. Your profile must be a good read, photos must be an accurate representation.

 

If you are meeting people in person, and the meet/date is friendly but does not end in a match, this does not mean it is a failure. You need to continue meeting people in order to find a match, which might happen at #1 or #100 or more.

 

I did online dating for about 3 years, dated 45 guys, had several more than 2-5 dates, a couple of 6 week mini relationships and 1 (3) year relationship....all from OLD. Most if not all of the guys were decent and all had jobs, many had college degrees, etc....

 

If you are new to OLD, you must give it time. Finding what you want takes time. However, if you still find yourself not meeting decent people, then you need to change your people picker.

Edited August 2, 2017 by HarmonyDriven

[anduina]

The only "decent" women I met via OLD were good people, but immensely unattractive. My theory is that most people who use OLD are very flawed, and at the time I was on there, I was just as flawed I suppose.

Do you believe yourself to be perfect now?

[Hopeful30]

Im finding that the filtering process for OLD is far more extensive than in real life, because as someone mentioned, its easier to deceive online. I think its why so many people who still have to polish themselves are online. Its a way to shortcut their severe flaws and onlyshow the good stuff, later down the road everything reveals itself and we may be disappointed. In real life, this is typically easier to spot.

 

I also think that in a country that is so multi cultural, lots of people go online to meet someone of their culture or language, because if youre a minority, you may not even have options to consider, let alone be selective (if youre looking for someone of the same background)

Edited August 3, 2017 by Hopeful30

[OatsAndHall]

I

I also think that in a country that is so multi cultural, lots of people go online to meet someone of their culture or language, because if youre a minority, you may not even have options to consider, let alone be selective (if youre looking for someone of the same background)

 

This is very true and it happens between races as well..

 

I live in a redneck corner of the country and I am certainly a stranger in a strange land. Dating around here is tough if you're not a "country boy" with tattoos that owns a diesel truck, rides a motorcycle and shoots rodents for fun. I am the complete opposite of that in every way.

 

In other places, my profession and education level has gone a long way for me in the dating scene. But, it seems to work against me here. Many women look at me like I'm Rain Man when I tell them that I'm a math teacher.

[Popsicle]

But isn't that the nature of the beast, meaning that attractive people who want a relationship are usually taken? Or are you saying that attractive people online are not taken, or at least multi-dating? If so, that would be a new perspective for me. Or is it that you are in a social circle that consists mostly of couples?

 

I'm saying yes to the bolded above.

The jury is still out for me on whether there are attractive men online who want a relationship. Still trying to determine that. I think they are there because I know for a minute my ex-H was on there. I do believe that they don't stay on there long, which is probably a reason for me to be more active on there than I have been.

My social circle and the area I live does consist mostly of couples unfortunately.

[Chilli]

But nah , not at all.

Told l'm a good lookin bloke but l'm single again, pop's got killer lips , so l heard haha sorry pop, couldn't resist , but she's single again. Ex gf is gorgeous but she's single again, same with some friends of mine.

A few people have said to me how come your single well hello , for a start l've only been single 6wks but it could be yrs , could be forever, could be 6mths. l don't want just anyone, wouldn't waste my time.

You can't just go and get a relationship, just because of looks, not a good one anyway.

And who just wants some more dead end bs or to just go date people your not even into.

Well some do actually come to think of it and glory to them , but not me.

 

Takes time to meet someone special no matter who you are , usually yrs.

Edited August 3, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

and don't forget , a lot of people are getting over divorce or old relationship or just not getting out to meet people .

[Zip Silver]

Yep. I've only met decent cool guys pretty much. I met one ex on POF but other than that my recent ex and current partner are from tinder. I also met a bunch of other cool guys from tinder and went on proper dates but for one reason or another it didn't go any further.

 

My partner and I are both attractive twenty something year old professionals, he's a medic with a lot of compatible values to me, a hard worker who values family and wants the same things from his future as I do. He's funny, sweet and incredibly hot, and I have no doubt that if I hadn't met him when I did he'd have been snapped up by one of the nurses at the new hospital he works at now he's qualified (he was still in med school when we met). I'm baffled by people who think OLD is full of rejects or losers. I've met some awesome people online who've had their sht together just like I do.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I've gone on two dates since I relocated three weeks ago. On paper and with the images posted, it looked promising. But upon seeing the ladies, their images were not representative of who they truly were/are currently. Disappointing. Both dates were fun and full of laughter, but it wasn't going to work out.

 

I'm with OatsAndHall, I'm in a very conservative part of the country and finding educated, more tolerant ladies is very difficult.

 

I have met some really amazing women over the years. Very attractive and fit as I prefer them. I'm hoping for one more such meeting and get the heck off OLD for good! :-)

[Popsicle]

and don't forget , a lot of people are getting over divorce or old relationship or just not getting out to meet people .

 

Yes very true. That makes it really hard.

[Cookiesandough]

Where are all the cute, nerdy guys with glasses that like to play scrabble on Friday nights at?#onlinedatingprobs

 

They need to open back up an OLD consolidated thread where ppl can go back to *****ing

Edited August 5, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

A lot of nerdy guys might hide that side of themselves online. Having many nerdy hobbies did not help my cause when I did OLD.

That's interesting.

Just out of curiosity, what was the most successful angle for you online?? What hobbies/persona had the most luck?

[Chilli]

Funny , when l was on it after messing about with the so called profile out of pure boredom , in the end l thought to hell with this and ripped it all out, threw in about 3 lines instead that l wouldn't even know what l said, and bingo.

Met 40, 50 , l don't even know how many women, they loved it, l stopped bothering to write down names and numbers at about 35 or something. Still got the list on my phone.

 

Work that out.

Edited August 5, 2017 by Chilli

[Cookiesandough]

You mean when you just stopped caring?

[Chilli]

Haha,probably.

All kinds of things in life seem to go better when you stop trying , do you find that .

[Cookiesandough]

Definitely

[normal person]

Funny , when l was on it after messing about with the so called profile out of pure boredom , in the end l thought to hell with this and ripped it all out, threw in about 3 lines instead that l wouldn't even know what l said, and bingo.

Met 40, 50 , l don't even know how many women, they loved it, l stopped bothering to write down names and numbers at about 35 or something. Still got the list on my phone.

 

Work that out.

 

Not that it's recommended to everyone, but I agree there is some wisdom in the aloof approach, assuming you know what you're doing. Something I do sometimes is replying to a message with just "Hi, thanks for your message, but I'm sort of burnt out on this and the messaging thing is kind of tedious. Why don't you just give me your number and we'll get a drink later this week?" That's worked in all but one case, I think.

 

As for the original "have you met anyone decent" question, there is an actual Victoria's Secret model on an ap here in NYC (too tall for me, but worth mentioning). I know a fake when I see one, and it seemed legit. When people say there's "no one decent," I've got to shake my head. OLD is used widely by very successful, appealing people who happen to be very selective and discerning. I've met a lot of them, as have my friends.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Yes, I have. Some gorgeous women who are genuinely looking for something meaningful. But find too many of them in the midst of digging themselves out of something instead of on solid ground.

 

I am in contact with two beautiful women now. I hope they have their poop together. :-)

[Bastile]

That's interesting.

Just out of curiosity, what was the most successful angle for you online?? What hobbies/persona had the most luck?

 

Full on f**k boy (full retard?). Went from getting 2 matches each day on Tinder to around 6 after putting up shirtless pics...

 

Online just isn't the same as real life. Although I never actually have tried approaching girls shirtless. England's either too cold, and when it's not I burn with skin like Casper the ghost (or "mozarella as one Italian ex said)

 

I wear glasses - big bolshy ironic glasses. Think I only had one picture wearing them online though (not the look I was going for). And honestly? I use them as an accessory to hide behind. Makes me feel more confident for some reason.

 

Turned into a uniform (utility first), I suppose it fits the Indie look. Followed with a rock band T-shirt (anything which says "bad boy"), and tattoos on my arms showing, it adds contrast to the geek vibe. Different game, different angle.

 

More men need to learn what their look communicates to women. Combined with the right energy, it's powerful. Improve your thin-slice.

 

However, I am neither nerd, or "f**k boy". Constantly confuses women, that. And as it's scientifically proven that women are attracted to men whom are difficult to figure out, not fitting into a neat box is a very good thing.

 

What I have found through my man wh*ring is that women love figuring out men. They don't like being given the direct information, they love figuring it out for themselves. Dont' make it easy on them lol.

 

Then they think that they have you understood in a way that no one else does. And actually it is sort of the case. A woman's creation of you really is an art. And I have gone out with artists who have actually depicted this through their art.

 

God, I love life

 

Suppose that it's the same way that I can't judge you for having a Chihuahua in your pic. This says "high-maintenance" to me, when you actually like dates which are simple.