Noah123 Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 My wife left me and moved out 6 months ago. We are separated. We still have contact but not in a marriage way... Am I allowed to go on dates, what's the protocol please? Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 Court seperation? Or one of you just moved out? Because some states have laws that would say dating while still married is adultery. That could potentially be held against you when splitting assets. Check your state laws. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Do you want to save your marriage? Separated is not divorced. Married people do not date. They get divorced first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Every separated person I know dated while separated, and of course dating too soon like that usually just becomes a mess, especially for the other person. I always thought separation was to see how you felt about not being a couple anymore, and it's not much of a challenge if there's no dating going on, honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Ask your attorney. Get the law straight first then think about dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Well, no idea on laws where you are but she left you. so l sure wouldn't be sitting around if l didn't want to be, just don't advertise it until the divorce. But , are you really up to it. l waited over 2 yrs , l just needed the time The thing is , dunno how your feeling but seeing other people might be all well and good , if it all goes well , but when it doesn't which is what usually happens so early out the gate, then people become even more of a mess. But hey , seems to come out alright for some . Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 If you're worried about moralities that's between you and your own conscience, no one on this forum can tell you what's right or what's wrong, though many here will disagree with me about that. If you're talking about legalities, most judges these days couldn't care less about that, particularly if you're separated, but please do check with an attorney in your area before you consider that gospel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noah123 Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 To be honest I don't really know what I'm doing. I've been badly let down by my wife and even though I'm hurt, I know I deserve a better relationship than what my marriage had been. I guess all I'm doing is taking each day as it comes and dealing with it the best way I can... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 To prove adultery the State must prove beyond a reasonable doubt you had sex with someone not your spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 Hi OP, date who you want when you want where you want. You can spend the rest of your life bound up in all kinds of rules and constraints and customs and ethics and laws, or you can live. Separated people date every day, even separated people who have no intention of divorcing. They do what they like to do, for them. If you want to socialize with women, do that. If they ask you your relationship status, be honest about that. Women like honesty. There's a lot of liars out there. Most people I know who've had a spouse leave like that were out socializing the next week. Nothing you and me forever stuff but good old basic human press the flesh interaction. You're not dead yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 Why did she leave you? Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 This is always a tough subject. I had been separated for four months with divorce paper filed when I started dating again. I thought that I was ready but, in all reality, I was lonely, depressed, and looking to relieve that with companionship. In the end, it made my life more stressful and it wasn't fair to the women I was dating as I wasn't in a good place emotionally. I was over my ex-wife but I needed some more time to get my life or myself together. But, everyone and every situation is different. You may be emotionally ready to go out and date. But, make sure you are out there to meet someone new and enjoy yourself, not to "self-medicate". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Hi OP, date who you want when you want where you want. You can spend the rest of your life bound up in all kinds of rules and constraints and customs and ethics and laws, or you can live. Separated people date every day, even separated people who have no intention of divorcing. They do what they like to do, for them. If you want to socialize with women, do that. If they ask you your relationship status, be honest about that. Women like honesty. There's a lot of liars out there. Most people I know who've had a spouse leave like that were out socializing the next week. Nothing you and me forever stuff but good old basic human press the flesh interaction. You're not dead yet. Problem with dating while still married, and being separated is still being married is that I have seen loads of people try to recover their marriage after being separated where the one that dated only made recovery worse. For the other spouse then feels as if their spouse had an affair. The dating spouse will claim it was not an affair. Well being technically correct does not eliminate the other spouse from feeling the same as if it was an affair. Then the introduction of suspicion that the WS wanted the separation all along because they had their AP in the wings ready to go. Using the ruse that we need a separation to "work on our problems" for the WS to work on their AP. Add all of the above is that people are not ready to date for one year after a relationship ends for they need the to heal. Those that can not wait wind up being a heel. going on. It only made 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Ask your divorce attorney. You have one of those, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Everyone that I know had sex when they separated. If it is not a legal separation it is possible, depending on local laws, for your wife to cite you for adultery. Regardless of that, everyone I know had sex. What they did was not spend the night at their sex partner's residence. There was no way to prove that you had sex while visiting a female friend. You will find that the best way to get over a woman is to get under another. That is what I did and it worked. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeNomad Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 in my opinion once she left you its over. However, if you are legally married or whatever do not be making it public that you are dating or seeing someone else especailly if there are pending court issues. But if you are asking because it seems weird to date or you are just not used to it, its ok to make friends and go out on dates, its normal to want companionship. Its ok to sleep with someone too. Link to post Share on other sites
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