Anyone else feel bad after using OLD?

[Cookiesandough]

Thanks for the kind words:) I should get out more probably. I think my hopes were too high for OLD. I can't seem to get past the initial "hello" message stage. I get shy. Oh well, keep trying.

Edited August 6, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Jj66]

I have a theory about why OLD could make a guy depressed versus real life dating.

 

The difference is this: mere lack of interest, by necessity of the normal OLD platforms, becomes active rejection and that is more painful than passive disinterest.

 

Imagine going up to a few dozen women and asking them out without having built up any sort of rapport or even looking to see if they were talking to someone else. How many are going to say no? Almost all of them. This is what's happening on OLD. You have no rapport. She knows zilch about you. She is likely already talking to someone else, possibly several. Unless you are hot or extremely intriguing you probably won't get a response.

 

So, not getting responses means this: you are not Adonis or The Most Interetsing Man in the World. It doesn't mean you are a loser or undesirable. You might still be a quite decent guy, interesting, good looking, a catch even, but you had the misfortune of messaging at the wrong time.

 

Asssumung you've created a good profile already, you can increase your response rate by these few simple things:

 

1. Only message women who are online now.

2. Only message women who have viewed your profile.

3. Only message Sunday through Thursday.

4. Keep the message short and personal. You can reference something in her profile or a current event or whatever.

5. A question is more likely to get a response.

 

This is much better than sending out dozens of "cold call" messages.

[Zul]

I think you are taking OLD a bit too seriously. You might substitute real life interactions with OLD, similar to some people focusing on social networks to an unhealthy degree.

 

If that is the case I would indeed give it a rest and focus your time on family, friend and going out.

 

THIS. Exactly what I needed to see. I've been so bummed with OLD lately that it's consuming me. I think I'm going to lay off all accounts with the exception of one and just let it ride. I want to be happy in life and makes changes in my own life, then maybe I will be successful and find meaning beyond what someone else thinks of me.

[Jamie_1]

OLD has been better for me than regular dating. But both are pathways to deep dissatisfaction with your self.

[guy45]

Strangely the most attractive women that have liked me I met in real life. Maybe if focus on meeting people in the real world I'll have more success.

[normal person]

OLD has been better for me than regular dating. But both are pathways to deep dissatisfaction with your self.

 

If you truly believe this, I imagine your problem isn't "dating," it's something deeper.

 

I think people need to set your expectations for OLD. Far too often I see guys come on here and think that simply making a profile should be a magic bullet to solve all their problems, and are confused when they don't get the results they want. There are a lot of factors that determine your success, some within your control, and some out of it. Control what you can control to the best of your ability if you want the best odds. For everything you can't control, you should develop skills to accept or, better yet, overcome and you'll probably be much more successful.

[diddilybop]

i can see how meeting people through OLD and it not panning out or becoming more can be frustrating and ultimately, disheartening...but isn't that how dating is in real life? as dan savage appropriately put it, "every relationship you are in will fail until one doesn't".

 

i also agree with Monkey Logic. you gotta set your expectations more realistically with OLD by not taking everything to heart, having some fun and knowing that every match you message isn't always message you back. i met my boyfriend through tinder and when i was on it, i would only log-in once a week and spent the rest of my time living my life.