5 year LD relationship over

[Pirandello]

Update november 27th.

 

It's been now 6 months! I am still in no contact and haven't broken it.

I haven't heard anything from her and what she is up to and if she is seeing someone or not. All i know is i am doing better and am thinking less and less about the breakup.

 

Occasionally i do get thoughts in the morning, i say it's worse when i dream about her.

I been reading a lot about relationships and life improvement and realised i was too codependant and she was a narcissistic type with selfish needs. I got too attached and in the end when the relationship ran it's course, i ended up hurting more.

 

As i slowly detach myself, like someone who stops an addiction, i now see clear. I see all the flaws, i see that i lost myself, i forgot about my purpose and my goals in life. I lost my motivation to succeed, i became uncentered and started to doubt her and myself.

 

She wanted me like i was in the beginning, confident, happy, with passion and motivation to succeed and break all barriers. This is masculine energy and it kept her in love until i became complacent, stopped courting and dating her and slowly she wasn't interested in making love anymore and this made me lose even more motivation and slowly the relationship lost it's romance and we felt like friends or room mates.

 

I learned so much from this relationship, i thought i knew it all and i could relax and not worry just because she mentioned she wanted kids and get married. Well i was wrong, those were things she said in the moment, and people change with time, Her emotions changed like a light switch. it doesn't matter how long you been together, what they were thinking a few years ago doesn't mean they still want it today.

 

My mistake was thinking that because we had a great 5 years together, that we passed the test and nothing could break us up. I even asked her, what did i do to you ? When the real problem was, what i didn't do to keep her in love? I realised i didn't do much anymore to keep her in love. I was complacent. I ignored the red flags, because sexually i wasn't happy with her, her libido was very low because of meds for depression. So i just gave up... No regrets. walk away and never look back...