To unfriend or to not unfriend

[jl27]

Long story short, this guy & I weren't dating by any means, but were seeing each other for a year. There was jealousy issues on his end, and I wanted to be more than just the "friends with benefits" which caused us to fight a lot since I was getting frustrated with things not going any where. One thing lead to another, we got into an argument and I removed him off snapchat (where we would msg the most since our phones never received texts from each other). I msgd him a week later asking if I should move on with my life & he proceeded to tell me to do what I wanted and that he thought it would be best to do our own thing for a while, but it was "by far the end of anything". Thats not what I wanted but I accepted it for what it was. A month goes by with no talking, I noticed he was liking sad/heartbroken photos on instagram. Either to try to get me to msg him or just liking it for whatever reason. It's been 2 months since we've seen each other FYI.

 

My mom & sister are currently on vacation & I took this opportunity to ask him if he wanted to see my dog (he loved my dog & would always ask me to bring him over etc.) He was iffy at the start saying I "was understandably hurt the last time we talked" and he didn't think it would be a good idea, so i said ok just thought id put it out there if you wanted to (my mom would never let me take him over to his place for whatever reason). 2 days later, he msgd me basically saying he would meet up with me. I then told him last Monday that they were away from that Friday, till the next Friday if he wanted to. I reached out on the Saturday since no one was home to see if he wanted me to bring him over, but he already had plans with his friends, understandable. He then msg'd me Monday, something along the lines of "not sure when/if it'll happen, maybe we could take your dog for a walk or something i dunnnooo" .. it's been 2 day since, my mom gets home Saturday. I know he won't msg to hang out on Friday since he always use to see his friends on the weekend and hardly ever me. So that leaves Thursday as the only option.

 

In between all of this, I noticed he's held off on liking sad/heartbroken photos, so I'm not sure what that means, to go for a sudden 2 week bender of liking sad things, to just not any more.

 

I'm stuck on the fence, I still really care for him. But I feel like i'm being placed as an "option" rather than a priority right now, or if nothing else goes on in his day, that he'll use the opportunity to see me cause he's bored. I want to be wanted by him. I'm swaying between removing him off all my social media accounts, or keeping him.

 

I want to keep him on everything because I don't want him to think I'm gone & done with him for good. But I want to remove him to kinda say "if you want me in your life, make some effort to keep me there" type thing, but I'm not sure what to do. I'm mad at this point because he's left plans with me so last minute and I don't even know if he'll msg me, but I want to know where to go from there if he doesn't msg me .. to remove him or to keep him.

 

Any help would be much appreciated!

[ZayKayWill]

If he's not giving you any straightforward answers on where you guys are standing, I would just remove him if I were you. I'm sure it will be hard, but if he wants you in your life, he WILL make an effort to do so. I had to go through what you are now about a year and a half ago with my last ex. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But if he truly does want you in your life, he WILL fight for it. Not saying this means much, but out of nowhere after about a year and a half of NC, my ex just recently liked one of my posts on Facebook despite us not even being friends on Facebook. Didn't expect it at all. People will fight for the ones they care the most. That's not an opinion. That's a fact. Good luck.

[salparadise]

Way too much focus on social media. Eliminate all of that from your thinking and look at the real life situation more objectively to see what's left. The answer... not much. Liking a few pics amounts to nothing. It's just an attempt to keep you on the string, and it seems to be working. Delete and block, move on and find someone with whom you can have an actual, satisfying relationship. This was never a relationship anyway, just casual sex. The only relationship was the one you fantasized, and that he never engaged in.

[d0nnivain]

I believe that virtual friends on social media should mirror real life. If I am no longer "friends" with you in real life because we broke up or stopped sleeping together or had some other negative change in our life, then you get removed from my social media friends list too. If you are not part of my life there is no reason to give you a window into it.

[spiderowl]

I'm not sure why you are trying to rekindle anything with this guy. It appears he wanted to be FWB before and you were not happy with that. It wasn't going anywhere so you both opted out. What do you think has changed? Whatever 'liking' he was doing, there is nothing to suggest his basic framework has changed. It seems to me he needs to be the one to offer you something more. I can't see the point in reaching out to him. It has just put you back in the same position again of wondering where this is going (if anywhere). I'm sure you were tempted to contact him again because you liked him. He is just not offering what you need. I would not try to work anything out with him, just leave him to sort himself out.