Tserath Posted August 2, 2017 Share Posted August 2, 2017 I met a guy online. Wasn't going to meet him, didn't really want to meet him, but I did. He's a truck driver and doesn't live in my city. I didn't think we would hit off, but we did. Had an extremely great night, and continued texting, as of now it'll be 2 months of friendship, or whatever you wanna call it. We texted every single day and talked on the phone a few times. The other day I was severely stressed out and sorta became an emotional wreck in my texting, was kinda a bitch to him. He said "hmmm" "I..." "K". 3 separate texts. Then I apologized and said maybe what I said was uncalled for. He didn't respond. So then I just blurted out that I had feelings for him and it was confusing and blah blah blah. He didn't respond.. So the next day I sent an apology basically saying I overreacted and was sorry for it. There's a lot more to it all than that, but I'm trying to keep this short. I was the cool chick, totally not nuts until the other day when I had that little breakdown. He already knew I had feelings for him, I'm sure. But I think I might have scared him away forever now, because hes not responded at all. Only thing I can do is let it go, it couldn't be anything anyway since he's not even in my city, but it sucks. It's making me nuts and making me want to text him more to explain myself, but I've already dug my hole and texting more would just dig it deeper. no matter what I say it will now come across as desperate and pathetic. I'm just curious if anyone else has done this before and felt this pathetic, desperate crap. I'm not sure if I've already come across as desperate and pathetic to him, but I sure feel like it. And I want to fix it all. But I can't. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I think he might be married or have a gf and just be looking for something casual, maybe. I mean, as soon as you started getting demanding or serious or whatever it was, he totally backed off. There's a lot you don't know about him. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 You went on a date with this man & have been interacting for a while. You developed feelings. I hardly find it desperate or psycho for you to tell somebody that you have been interacting with that you like him. I find your choice to do it through texting while upset to be off putting. It's out there now. If he doesn't get back to you, then you know this was one sided & you move on. Continuing to pester him demanding a response that is bordering on psycho so just sit back & see how he reacts. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 (edited) You can't unring bells. What you can do is learn from the experience. In this case, what you should learn is the importance of managing and communicating your feelings/needs/wants when you feel them instead of bottling them up. Yeah, sometimes it's too soon to express some feelings, in which case, you need to learn how to manage them and keep them at bay by balancing them against the logic of the situation. I was the cool chick, totally not nuts until the other day when I had that little breakdown. -- That is what every woman tells herself while she is bottling things up and then . . . All that being said, I'll never understand having important conversations via text!!!! These are the kind of discussions to have in person or at least on the voice part of the phone. You wanted clarity about what was going on between you. That's fine. Have an open, honest, calm, adult conversation. come across as desperate -- In order to not come across as desperate, you have to actually not be desperate . . . I don't really know enough about what was going on between you, but I'm always suspicious of people who are "transient" and trying to develop a relationship. Had you two been intimate? How many times did you meet in person? Did you ever have a conversation about what each of you was looking for out of your dating journeys? Do you know what his dating goal was? He's a truck driver, he may have a bunch of online sweeties who he spends time with while passing through cities on his routes. That's what they do to help manage the road fatigue and loneliness. There's a song by Rick Nelson: "I'm a travelin man . . . and in every port I own the heart of at least one lovely girl." Edited August 3, 2017 by Redhead14 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 You don't know much about his background and he could be married or have a girlfriend. Whatever. You don't want to carry on explaining yourself; it really will not help. Leave it now. If he likes you, he will make contact again, once he know you are not going to panic and chase him. In the early stages of a relationship, people panic if the other seems to be moving faster than them. It is a question of balancing things so neither feels the other is moving too fast. If you say too much, back off and let him respond. If he is interested, he will be back. If he is not interested, he will cut off. It is not difficult. Whatever he does, you do not want to be with someone who is feeling less than you or who does not care. However much you like someone, if it is not mutual, there is no connection or relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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