ManOfLove123 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 What's holding me back from talking to girls is because I get super jealous and paranoid of girls when they talk to other guys because I think they're having sex. I feel like women my own age have it easier in the dating market. I'm a 22 year old guy who's never had any sort of experience with women except for going on a few dates and I see all these girls my age who have no shortage of male attention. Like seriously, I feel like it's so friggin easy for women to find a guy. They don't have to initiate, they just simply have to be pretty and guys will come. Iv'e seen the pattern over and over, the pretty girls will always have boyfriend after boyfriend and if she's single, then she will either find a new boyfriend or find another guy within a few months. That's female privilege for you right there. Maybe that's my problem, I HATE imagining a girl with another guy. Friends-with-benefits is so common these days, that every time I talk to any girl I always assume she's probably sleeping with other guys. I don't like that feeling because I don't like to think about the girl I like having sex with other men. How do you get rid of that feeling? Because it's caused me so much anger and paranoia in the past and present. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 You need to stop making generalizations about all women based on your paranoia. It's not your imagination that any attractive 22 year old woman is going to have lots of options when it comes to sex. However, it's unfair to say that every woman is exercising those options. There are young women who value loyalty, exclusivity & fidelity. You need to find one & only judge her on her own behavior not on what you see as society gone wild. Even if you are in an exclusive monogamous relationship life will require her to interact with men. Saying thank you to the car mechanic or collaborating with a male colleague at work does not make her unfaithful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Live and let live. Their personal lives don't really affect you. Only your thinking does. I hope other people are having the time of their lives. The best sex ever and happy in every way. However, whether I'm positive, negative, or indifferent about them, my thinking really only affects me. So, I choose to think in ways that benefit me rather than making myself miserable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 On jealousy: it's quite normal that it's a problem for you. At just 22, it's another thing you learn to deal with. Jealousy is different between men and women... very very different. It's important to understand that. Jealousy makes men miserable (unless you have a cuckold fetish, or something), but jealousy turns women on. It's pre-selection. Men and women both judge each other by their own standards. Very few actually take the effort to understand the other with the proper respect. This is why I've repeatedly had women trying to use jealousy on me in their game. They just don't understand that it doesn't effect me in the same way that it effects them - it's a turn-off, not a turn-on. It's counterproductive, and has the opposite effect that they want. What's holding me back from talking to girls is because I get super jealous and paranoid of girls when they talk to other guys because I think they're having sex. I feel like women my own age have it easier in the dating market. I'm a 22 year old guy who's never had any sort of experience with women except for going on a few dates and I see all these girls my age who have no shortage of male attention. Like seriously, I feel like it's so friggin easy for women to find a guy. They don't have to initiate, they just simply have to be pretty and guys will come. Iv'e seen the pattern over and over, the pretty girls will always have boyfriend after boyfriend and if she's single, then she will either find a new boyfriend or find another guy within a few months. That's female privilege for you right there. Maybe that's my problem, I HATE imagining a girl with another guy. Friends-with-benefits is so common these days, that every time I talk to any girl I always assume she's probably sleeping with other guys. I don't like that feeling because I don't like to think about the girl I like having sex with other men. How do you get rid of that feeling? Because it's caused me so much anger and paranoia in the past and present. No. You are a young man that doesn't yet get it. A lot never do. You are on the outside of the bubble, looking in and judging everything at surface level. Listen, a man looks for reasons to have sex. A woman looks for reasons not to. Their entire game is built around disqualification. This is exactly what I said above: you are judging women like they are men. Stop doing that. The levels to this are thus: Alpha/sigma males Women Beta males/white knights Women are never, nor will ever, be at the top. They were biologically designed to lose the game. The only reason you think women have it easier, is because you are behaving like one! You are jealous of them that things aren't just handed to you on a plate. Get out there and learn to game. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 They don't have to initiate, they just simply have to be pretty and guys will come. Iv'e seen the pattern over and over, the pretty girls will always have boyfriend after boyfriend and if she's single, then she will either find a new boyfriend or find another guy within a few months. That's female privilege for you right there. That's not "female privilege," that's human nature, biology, and sexual market value. Men desire youthful, beautiful women. So yes, at 22, a woman is as desirable as she's ever going to be and is going to have no shortage of men trying to get with her for the next 7-8 years. The most aggressive, resourceful, best fit male is going to get that girl. If you want that girl, be that male. Maybe that's my problem, I HATE imagining a girl with another guy. Friends-with-benefits is so common these days, that every time I talk to any girl I always assume she's probably sleeping with other guys. I don't like that feeling because I don't like to think about the girl I like having sex with other men. How do you get rid of that feeling? Because it's caused me so much anger and paranoia in the past and present. Accepting the fate you've decided for yourself is a surefire path to failure, and you've already done that. That's your problem. To alleviate that feeling, you need to throw your hat into the ring and try to date these girls yourself rather than just assuming you can't. What's stopping you from being one of those guys who dates those girls? They're doing it, why can't you? If you want something desirable, you're going to have to earn it. If you really think your problem is "how do I avoid feeling bad about other men being with women I like" and not, "how do I be with women I like?" then you're just looking for a band aid and I don't think any advice here will help you in the long run. You're 22, there's plenty of time to figure out how to get what you want, not just mitigate your feelings because you've decided you can't. Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 [...] Listen, a man looks for reasons to have sex. A woman looks for reasons not to. [...] I agreed with most of your post, but this gave me a pause. I personally think the men are looking for affirmation by the proxy of sex. Women are not looking for reasons not to have sex, but to minimize the number of possible lovers, especially the undesirable ones. If men were simply looking for reasons to have sex they'd all be in committed relationships where sex is plenty, especially in the early years. No, sex is only part of the equation but not the whole motivation. That being said, nobody forces one to play the game, it's entirely by choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 So don't date the pretty girls. Date someone who is happy to have you and isn't getting hit on all the time. But just so you know, just because a woman can doesn't mean she will. That's how GUYS think because a lot of them would if they could. Women like an emotional tie better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Who cares what other people do? Row your own boat....Unless that girl is your sister or your girlfriend, what they do is none of your concern..I wouldn't care if she banged the whole sophomore class...Its no one's business... That being said, I do feel for you...Life can be a b!tch if you are one of those guys that's always getting passed over or seen as invisible to the entire female species...It does get better, for most guys anyway... And sure...women get male attention...Heck, they don't even have to be pretty, either...But its no cakewalk,...They then have to kiss a ton of frogs to find a prince...And they are in their prime as for desirability, for the most part...So let them do what they want, and certainly don't get jealous.. TFY Focus on yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
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