Mizz Layta Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I got involved with man who lives with his partner and 2 kids.He told me that there in a process of separating and I believed him but as time went on it become obvious that he has no plans to move and he wouldn't see me outside his work hours.So I broke it off.Now I'm hurting because I realized that he played me but at the same time I feel like it's partly my fault for getting involved while he is still, living with another women.I just feel like it's just easier to direct that anger towards myself than to him as he was honest about about living with another women and I chose to believe him without confirmation that they were really separating.But do learn from this and will never believe anyone who claims that their in the process of separating or divorce.I just hate what I've done to myself and hurting a lot inside:( 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 You were both at fault but that doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive yourself <3. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 It takes two to tango. What's done is done. Learn from this. When they say "she doesn't understand me" or "I'm in the process of moving out" you respond "call me when you have a new address." Now forgive yourself & move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I think you learned a lesson. Don't be too hard on yourself 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 In these situations each person is 100% responsible for their involvement. Sure maybe he lied too you but he was still not single and you knew that. So where is his responsibility for you going ahead with the relationship. Simply put, you could have said, " call me when you are single and living on your own" you didn't, you chose to get involved with him anyway so it is 100% on you. Link to post Share on other sites
deadsoul Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 At this point, blame doesn't matter, does it? You're hurt. Your best best at this point is to own your part in this, learn from it and then forgive yourself and move on. Easier said than done, right? But even if "you're at fault" for getting involved with him doesn't make it hurt any less. Take care of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Moral of the story is next time there are any sort of red flags, heed them because it saves on time and heartbreak in the end. We're all human beings and we learn through life's experiences, you ended doing the right thing by yourself, give yourself credit for that. Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 You are 100% responsible for your decision to engage with a person who is already in a relationship. Learn from it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I got involved with man who lives with his partner and 2 kids.He told me that there in a process of separating and I believed him but as time went on it become obvious that he has no plans to move and he wouldn't see me outside his work hours.So I broke it off.Now I'm hurting because I realized that he played me but at the same time I feel like it's partly my fault for getting involved while he is still, living with another women.I just feel like it's just easier to direct that anger towards myself than to him as he was honest about about living with another women and I chose to believe him without confirmation that they were really separating.But do learn from this and will never believe anyone who claims that their in the process of separating or divorce.I just hate what I've done to myself and hurting a lot inside:( You made a bad decision having an affair with him and believing all that he told you. You woke up and realized your mistakes and ended the A. Forgive yourself by grieving the loss and realizing that you're free and will be happy and in a healthier relationship with a great (single) guy when the timing is right. Your past doesn't define who you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hushed3014 Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 I agree to forgive yourself!! Your A doesn't define the person you are!! Know it was an experience to learn from. From this experience you can help others and give them insight from your experience. There's a silver lining to every situation. I've been thru devastating situation before and finally found the good in it. So many things go into A especially if AP's truly are in love with one another. So many emotions, so many conversations, and moments together that it's all tangled up which causes AP to get overwhelmed, stressed, bothered, anxiety, and depression. It's such a convaluted situation that when one talks about an A, there's so much to say then what a person mentions in a post. There's so many things that factor into an A. When it comes to A's: some people are still in love with their AP Others not in love with AP AP long for one another others don't long for the other AP gets hurt Other AP gets hurt AP lies to AP Other AP doesn't lie to AP the list goes on and on... In society, A's are viewed as wrong wrong bad bad a crime. So it's very hard for a AP to talk of their perspective of the situation without being ridiculed, judged or yelled at. When it comes to Love its corny saying but with Me Love can conquer all. Maybe some affair partners are happy enough that if they get to see each other here and there and the love is there that thats all that matters. I can't speak for everyone each A is different and unique. AP where their both married I think it may be a little easier cause they have someone to go home to. AP where one person is married and other person is single... i think that's more difficult cause that single person has noone to go home to. They are alone. Sorry my entry probably made no sense. But i wish you the best of luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
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