Starlightsfall Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 (edited) Boyfriend bought a $7,000 engagement ring, but doesn't want me wearing it all the time out of fear it will get damaged. I told him that wearing the original engagment ring signifies great important, but he is scared I'll scratch the band or break the diamond because it has a pointed shape. He said he will buy a $200 engagement ring of lesser value for me to wear most the time, but I want to have my original be worn instead. I don't mind using the cheaper ring when doing physical therapy work, but on my down time I'd prefer the ring he first bought..he thinks that is a bad idea given how expensive it is. I've offered us exchanging it for a cheaper ring, but he said its incredibly special and that he doesn't want to do that. I offered paying half for it and obviously got shot down from this. He says this is his duty paying for the ring, not mine.. So after the wedding what use is it if I can never really wear it? Edited August 4, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 I spent more than that on my ex wife's ring. She got insurance. Do you have that? Scratches can be buffed out. Wear and tear is going to happen but jewelers are pretty good about it. Seems silly to have a fake ring and leave the real one at home. Its a symbol and he should want you to wear it. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
JHandy Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Tell him that the chances of losing this precious expression of commitment increases every time it's removed and replaced. Much like life itself. It's not the ring - it's the marriage. The ring symbolizes the delicate nature and the intense value your relationship you both have with each other. Damaged rings can be fixed as can damaged marriages. Rings are beautiful as will be your marriage. He should trust you with this ring with less intensity than he should with his heart. He has the best woman of all times and all places and the ring is to show the world this fact. And the ring should shine brightly for all to see this fact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starlightsfall Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 That is exactly how I see it, given this is a huge symbol of my soon to be marriage not wearing it kinda hurts. It also defeats the purpose of even buying a ring.. :/ I can understand about physical therapy because we are constantly using our hands and it could get caught and damaged easily with heavy lifting, but not wearing it afterwards out in public, just in general seems weird. Wearing a $200 ring that isn't the original that we took our vows in, makes it feel a lot less special ans my Family takes wearing the first rings pretty serious so that would work then as strange. Its a stunning ring to, so shouldn't it be seen? Not like anyone could steal it either becayse its sized to be tight on my finger that someone would have to either chop it off or pull so hard it would fling off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JHandy Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 That is exactly how I see it, given this is a huge symbol of my soon to be marriage not wearing it kinda hurts. It also defeats the purpose of even buying a ring.. :/ I can understand about physical therapy because we are constantly using our hands and it could get caught and damaged easily with heavy lifting, but not wearing it afterwards out in public, just in general seems weird. Wearing a $200 ring that isn't the original that we took our vows in, makes it feel a lot less special ans my Family takes wearing the first rings pretty serious so that would work then as strange. Its a stunning ring to, so shouldn't it be seen? Not like anyone could steal it either becayse its sized to be tight on my finger that someone would have to either chop it off or pull so hard it would fling off. Tell him. Wear it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starlightsfall Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 Sorry for misspelling on my phone, so its kinda wacky.. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Diamonds have a mohs scale rating of 10. There's not a lot that can damage the stone and the stone can be reset for a lot less than $7K, likely under $1K assuming it's 14K or 18K gold. Platinum will cost you more. Have you had the ring appraised? You'll need an appraisal to have it insured. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Yeah, my ex's was worth more than that and she wore it every day and I loved that she wore it every day! Get insurance for it. As part of the purchase, the jeweler added lifetime polishing, cleaning service. I would imagine at that price that it would have something like that? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starlightsfall Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 (edited) I copied and pasted "The chances of losing this precious expression of commitment increases every time it's removed and replaced. Much like life itself. It's not the ring - it's the marriage. The ring symbolizes the delicate nature and the intense value your relationship you both have with each other. Damaged rings can be fixed as can damaged marriages. Rings are beautiful as will be your marriage. He should trust you with this ring with less intensity than he should with his heart. He has the best woman of all times and all places and the ring is to show the world this fact. And the ring should shine brightly for all to see this fact." He still seems doubtful that I should wear it all the time and I feel like the brand Tiffany is made for that purpose.. I still don't know why he would buy an expensive ring, if he doesn't want me to wear it..lol.. I am going to do it anyways, even secretly if I have to.. >< I'm not sure if I can get insurance because the brand said they don't offer it and the only way to civer it is through home owners insurance. They said the details about the diamond/appraisal will be sent in 2 weeks but, can take up to a month. Edited August 4, 2017 by Starlightsfall 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Get the ring insured. Thst way you're covered if something happens. It's a friggin diamond. It's like the hardest rock on the darn planet. Get over it buddy 7 Link to post Share on other sites
JHandy Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Tell him in as much a loving way you can that he's a knuckle head then give him a kiss. He will get over it Don't let him win this. It's important. He will see this as time goes by. Just love your knuckle head with your full heart. Have a happy marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Just get it insured and don't be a klutz! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 A 'few' years ago, I was dating a guy who had a shiny new 300zx. He let me drive it and asked me to park it at the eats. Well, I guess the hedge touched it because he berated me on coming too close. Quite a speech, remembering it now. Things were of great value. I did not continue to date him because well, people who value shiny, pretty things and the material 'things' aren't my cup of tea. Maybe this is your fiance's largest purchase OP and the nervousness will subside. Wait till your first baby spits up over the genuine Persian, silk this or car that. Life happens, insurance....because they have convinced us. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Insure it through your home owners insurance and wear it with pride. And don't wear a cheap ring for your work - it's quite normal to remove jewellery at work if it's incompatible with your job. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Insure it through your home owners insurance and wear it with pride. And don't wear a cheap ring for your work - it's quite normal to remove jewellery at work if it's incompatible with your job. That is what we did too.. it costs about 75 bucks a year to add the the homeowners policy.. all you need is an appraisal from where you bought it or any appraisal company can do it too but the best one will come from where you bought it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Yes...bear in mind OP that a diamond has a horrible resale value. So pay insurance for sentimental value and investment. If your fiance paid 7,000 usd...if you were to sell it today, it would fetch maybe 3 to 5 thousand. Clarity will always be valuable but otherwise, diamonds have 1/3 market value. 7 Reasons Why Diamonds Are a Waste of Your Money | HuffPost It really puts a whole other spin on diamonds on forever. Not trying to be a negative nancy, Congratulations Starlightsfall! The life together that the sparkle represents is all it's about. That's what your fiance needs to know. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 If you do insure it to wear it keep in mind most insurance companies require yearly setting check and tightening. If you skip the required maintenance and the ring is lost, stolen, or the diamond falls out, it won't be covered. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 My $1000 engagement ring is now worth $6000 45 years later. However I never thought to limit when my wife could wear it. Diamonds are one of the hardest things in the world. They make drill bits out of them. I would not worry about chipping. Did you have the ring appraised? I only ask that because I got my dad's ruby and diamond wedding band. When I went to a jeweler to take out the diamonds and make earrings for my wife, I learned that the diamonds and rubies were fake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Your fiancé's attitude seems strange. Why wouldn't you show it off? The only reason you shouldn't wear your engagement ring regularly is if it has soft stones (opals, etc). What kinds of stones and metals are in it? I am glad we got platinum because I'm very clumsy, but gold can be redipped and cared for however often it's necessary. Just add it to your insurance policy and enjoy the peace of mind. Best advice I got: your rings should be the last thing you put on before going out and the first things you take off at home. No, you don't need to wear your engagement ring all the time. But they're designed for regular wear! That's the whole point. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hammyy2k Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 I spent more than that on my ex wife's ring. She got insurance. Do you have that? the question i must ask here is, did she keep the ring or returned it to you? the lesson i learnt here is never buy expensive rings in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starlightsfall Posted August 5, 2017 Author Share Posted August 5, 2017 (edited) He said if anything ever happened (We hope that NEVER does) I would keep the ring. Though there is a stereotype around some woman and divorce, I'm not one for sabatoging or stealing half of someone's property. I swore that if I didn't love him (Which I do) the ring would go back to him and he disagrees entirely on this. Thank you guys so much for all your help, through showing him these posts its made him more at ease and is less pressure on me. We are getting married sometime in Febuary and I'm excited to be wearing this ring often without taking it off so the time! We talked about getting it insured as well when renting a house and the appraisal recently arrived today. Thanks so much again, you guys are all awesome! Edited August 5, 2017 by Starlightsfall 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 He said if anything ever happened (We hope that NEVER does) I would keep the ring. Though there is a stereotype around some woman and divorce, I'm not one for sabatoging or stealing half of someone's property. I swore that if I didn't love him (Which I do) the ring would go back to him and he disagrees entirely on this. Thank you guys so much for all your help, through showing him these posts its made him more at ease and is less pressure on me. We are getting married sometime in Febuary and I'm excited to be wearing this ring often without taking it off so the time! We talked about getting it insured as well when renting a house and the appraisal recently arrived today. Thanks so much again, you guys are all awesome! Legally, the engagement ring would be YOUR property as long as you got married. It is a 'gift' and so he would have no legal right to it. My ex still has the engagement ring I gave to her and I am happy for it. It was/is a beautiful ring and she loved it. I hope she keeps it or sells it and not simply toss it away out of spite. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 OP, I wonder if you could show him all the responses in this thread? IMO, I would get the ring insured. It would be a total shame and waste if you could not wear your ring out in public. When I was married, I wore my wedding/engagement ring all the time except at home. I just took it off along with my other jewelry. This saved it from getting dull by not taking showers with it. My ring was appraised and insured. What if in the future, you two buy a super duper expensive car.....what is he gonna do, keep it in the garage and never drive it? Ugh.... Show him the responses Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 (edited) [J]ust spend your own money to get it insured and then tell him to shut up about it. [] Edited August 6, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I spent more than that on my ex wife's ring. She got insurance. Do you have that? Scratches can be buffed out. Wear and tear is going to happen but jewelers are pretty good about it. Seems silly to have a fake ring and leave the real one at home. Its a symbol and he should want you to wear it. This. OP, $7,000 is not exceedingly expensive for an engagement ring and scratches are bound to happen with time. I wanted to wear just my wedding band and not the matching engagement ring. My husband was against that idea because he "didn't buy the ring set just so it one of them could sit in a box." If you don't have insurance, please invest in some so that you have that protection in case of loss or theft. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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