CailinPig Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 My little nephews dad has died suddenly in his thirties. When he was alive, he hadn't been in his eleven year old sons life for about five years due to alcoholism. When he was in a relationship with my sister years ago, I didn't much like him and I found him fakely nice and cocky and he made some comments to me that I didn't like. His alcoholism only began when my nephew was born. It got worse and worse. He was found dead in his house sitting at the top of the stairs as if he knew something was wrong and was trying to leave to get help. I feel so upset about this. I can't explain why. He was by no means an evil man. He was just a man who developed a lot of problems. I look at his life and my heart aches. I wonder how this could happen to someone. That at the end of his life he could look back and say he had no job, no friends, no relationship with his only child... I'm so sorry and so sad that his life ended up that way. I can't get the grief out of my chest for this lad I knew when I was younger. I'm so angry about death and the frustration I feel is the worst feeling. I'm so frustrated that nothing can change this. I'm frustrated about how his life ended and I don't want to believe it. How does anybody deserve to die alone like that so young? He has no siblings. How do his parents deserve to be childless? Why does my nephew deserve to have his father die? We all assumed when my nephew was older and stronger that he would meet his father again. How do others deal with death? Link to post Share on other sites
abandoned386 Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 My little nephews dad has died suddenly in his thirties. When he was alive, he hadn't been in his eleven year old sons life for about five years due to alcoholism. When he was in a relationship with my sister years ago, I didn't much like him and I found him fakely nice and cocky and he made some comments to me that I didn't like. His alcoholism only began when my nephew was born. It got worse and worse. He was found dead in his house sitting at the top of the stairs as if he knew something was wrong and was trying to leave to get help. I feel so upset about this. I can't explain why. He was by no means an evil man. He was just a man who developed a lot of problems. I look at his life and my heart aches. I wonder how this could happen to someone. That at the end of his life he could look back and say he had no job, no friends, no relationship with his only child... I'm so sorry and so sad that his life ended up that way. I can't get the grief out of my chest for this lad I knew when I was younger. I'm so angry about death and the frustration I feel is the worst feeling. I'm so frustrated that nothing can change this. I'm frustrated about how his life ended and I don't want to believe it. How does anybody deserve to die alone like that so young? He has no siblings. How do his parents deserve to be childless? Why does my nephew deserve to have his father die? We all assumed when my nephew was older and stronger that he would meet his father again. How do others deal with death? This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart aches for the child. I guess the best thing to do now is be involved in your nephew's life as much as possible and help him to grow and understand that his dad loved him. Help him to understand who his dad was, in a positive way. I hope this advice makes sense.. I don't even really know how to cope with such a thing. I have 5 nephews.. I couldn't imagine them having to grow up without their dad.. But here you are and it happened to your nephew.. I can't imagine what you're feeling and I am so sorry for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CailinPig Posted August 6, 2017 Author Share Posted August 6, 2017 Thank you for responding. I'm just grappling with the idea of death and how we live in a world where everything can be changed or fixed or deleted and edited. But nobody can turn back the clock. It's very hard to deal with. Yeah my poor nephew - his dad was kept from him for the last few years because he wasn't stable but now we look at that and think - could we have introduced him even a little more into his life - it might have done both of them some good. Anyway thank you for responding and it sound like your nephews are very lucky to have you in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Soak Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Learn to live in the moment from this point onwards, and try not to judge others. (Try) to be kind to everyone, regardless of what you perceive them to be. It's hard sometimes. I often reflect on how i could have done things better, but the most important thing is to keep moving forward. Sad about the guy. The ones that most 'repulse' us are the ones that most need help, in many cases. Link to post Share on other sites
Soak Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 The other thing is, he made his own choices, as hard as that it to accept. It's perfectly human to grieve for somebody, even though you weren't close to them. I think it shows you have empathy and kindness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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