My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is obsessed, how do i deal with that?

[Emi1609]

I have been with my boyfriend just for 4 months and half but things have been great. He had a girlfriend for 2 years but they broke up almost 3 years ago.The problem is that she has been very insistent with him. She asked my boyfriend if they could try to be together again, my boyfriend told him that no and blocked her.

She contacted their old group of friends that they shared just so she could be in every activity with us and his friends tell me that she is constantly asking about us. My boyfriend is starting to hate her and she is even stalking me in Social Media.

 

I have been ignoring her but I am scared that this continue will continue.

[darkmoon]

You use the word "I" in your title, as if you alone must handle this. She is not your ex though, but your boyf's.

 

Contact her family, or get your boyf to. She needs help to break free of the past. I can see no other solution.

 

I hope and trust that your boyf actually wants her gone. You have every right to expect it, given that stalking of hers.

Edited August 5, 2017 by darkmoon

[umirano]

My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is obsessed, how do i deal with that?

You don't. He does. To your satisfaction. Otherwise, start looking.

[preraph]

He's done the right thing and about all he can do so far. She IS stalking him by working his friends and may also be working his family if she has any sway there.

 

The only other thing he can do is ask his friends not to discuss him or you with her and let them know she's trying to interfere.

 

You need to block her on all social media and make sure she stays blocked on his and if he needs to change his phone number, that might be a good idea to further discourage her.

 

Be real sure he's not letting her in, though. Some guys love to keep an ex on the backburner and keep her focused on him so she's not with other guys just in case, you know.

Edited August 5, 2017 by preraph

[basil67]

On top of being blocked by your boyfriend, his friends need to close ranks around him and block her too. Or at the very least, deflect her questions. They also need to stop telling you and him what's going on.

 

In short, your boyfriend needs to talk with his friends about managing this situation.

[kendahke]

Your boyfriend needs to deal with her. You have nothing to say to her.

 

He needs to tell his circle of friends that he doesn't want them discussing your relationship with her because it's none of her business. Period. If they can't keep their yaps closed, then he needs to stop dealing with them because their loyalties are with her and not him or you.

[mikeylo]

Everyone is right that your bf needs to block and walk. She will stop when she gets a permanent no from him. If your bf gives even a little of leeway, she will keep interfering. He should stop all forms of communication.

 

She herself hasn't moved on so is sabotaging your relationship. She may not even want to be in a relationship with him anymore.Its just the thrill of having the power to ruin other peoples relationships.

 

Temporarily, get yourself and your bf out of the group she is on. Tell your close friends about it. She will give up. But all this has to come from your bf.

 

He needs to take a strict action of block and walk.

[smackie9]

OK first off YOU BOTH need to tell these friends to block her and stop talking to her. Secondly, set your social media and his to private /friends only. There are settings for this kind of thing, use it. If the social media you are using doesn't, change it, go under an assumed name or just stop posting your personal life on there...no one needs to see it anyways. PM people if you have something to show them.

[act00]

I find it a little hard to believe that after three years, this ex-girlfriend has suddenly become this overwhelming nuisance. I find myself suspecting that your boyfriend may have gotten back together with her, hooked up with her, or has somehow led her on and has somehow led her to believe there is still a chance that they could and would be together again, like the "just friends" scenario, or even FWB, when he found someone new and full-out dumped her/replaced her. You need to be clear with his history with her and if he has truly severed ties with her. I also find it hard to believe that their mutual friends would encourage or help with such behavior when they broke up three years ago, so I suspect there's a bit more to the story here that your boyfriend has not shared. I hope I'm wrong.

 

Otherwise, he needs to put a stop to this. These friends are not his friends if they are helping and encouraging her to maintain contact and hope that they will reunite. Your boyfriend may need to stop communication with these friends or no longer associate with this group and the people in it. With any close friends, he needs to let them know what the ex is up to and that they are not to encourage her or discuss him with her in any way.

 

Just like in the case of divorce, friends sometimes get divided and loyalties lie with one or the other of the couple. It stinks, but you may find yourself having to sever ties with people you once considered to be friends, and your boyfriend may need to take such action. If these friends of his are helping and encouraging the ex-girlfriend, or even just have loyalty to her, he needs to back off these so-called friends and no longer associate with them. He does need to be clear with his friends that there is to be no more discussion about him to her, and tell them about her stalky behavior, including stalking his latest love interest. If they side with her, he needs to split. He needs to block her from all social media, phone, email, etc. He needs to document her attempts at communication and behavior. You need to document this as well.

 

If your boyfriend will not take certain actions to prevent her from meddling in his life, you need to think long and hard if this is the right guy for you. It won't go away and won't change. If she's a crazy stalker, that's a whole other issue of which you still need to consider your continued involvement with him.

 

While it is possible this woman has just gone completely off the rails, I suspect there's more to the story going on here. Three years is a long time.

[mikeylo]

I find it a little hard to believe that after three years, this ex-girlfriend has suddenly become this overwhelming nuisance. I find myself suspecting that your boyfriend may have gotten back together with her, hooked up with her, or has somehow led her on and has somehow led her to believe there is still a chance that they could and would be together again, like the "just friends" scenario, or even FWB, when he found someone new and full-out dumped her/replaced her. You need to be clear with his history with her and if he has truly severed ties with her. I also find it hard to believe that their mutual friends would encourage or help with such behavior when they broke up three years ago, so I suspect there's a bit more to the story here that your boyfriend has not shared. I hope I'm wrong.

 

Otherwise, he needs to put a stop to this. These friends are not his friends if they are helping and encouraging her to maintain contact and hope that they will reunite. Your boyfriend may need to stop communication with these friends or no longer associate with this group and the people in it. With any close friends, he needs to let them know what the ex is up to and that they are not to encourage her or discuss him with her in any way.

 

Just like in the case of divorce, friends sometimes get divided and loyalties lie with one or the other of the couple. It stinks, but you may find yourself having to sever ties with people you once considered to be friends, and your boyfriend may need to take such action. If these friends of his are helping and encouraging the ex-girlfriend, or even just have loyalty to her, he needs to back off these so-called friends and no longer associate with them. He does need to be clear with his friends that there is to be no more discussion about him to her, and tell them about her stalky behavior, including stalking his latest love interest. If they side with her, he needs to split. He needs to block her from all social media, phone, email, etc. He needs to document her attempts at communication and behavior. You need to document this as well.

 

If your boyfriend will not take certain actions to prevent her from meddling in his life, you need to think long and hard if this is the right guy for you. It won't go away and won't change. If she's a crazy stalker, that's a whole other issue of which you still need to consider your continued involvement with him.

 

While it is possible this woman has just gone completely off the rails, I suspect there's more to the story going on here. Three years is a long time.

 

Sounds quite possible !