My ex, the father of my child "lost" feelings for me?

[Mamaintexas82]

My ex, the father of my child, left me in March 2016. I tried more than once to work things out with him, but he did not want to. We argued a lot and he has a very fragile ego, so he ran away from problems we had and never wanted to really work on them with me. He would break up with me when things became too much for him and anything I would ever say or bring up would make him angry and he would bolt. After dealing with this and coming to terms that we may not get back together again, I decided to move on and in the process dated another man for 4 months. I never brought my child around him and waited to tell my ex because I wanted to make sure things were more serious before spilling the beans. My car broke down Easter weekend, and he had to bring me home. My child was with my ex and I told him when I would be home and that I would call him before he brought her back. I did not want to suddenly spring on my ex I was dating someone new just yet. My ex decided to drop my daughter off earlier than I told him, and ended up seeing the new guy. He became very upset, said some mean things to me and about the new guy, and acted so jealous. He told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, and became cold and distant. When me and the new guy ended things (he ended up being a total jerk and I didn't want that around me or my daughter) I told my ex how wrong he was for treating me the way he did just because I dated someone that he did not approve of. He admitted to me he wanted to be with me again before he learned I was seeing someone new, and that if I had truly loved him I would not have been with someone else. He also told me his feelings completely died once he saw me with this guy, and that right now he does not want to be with me or in any type of relationship because he was very hurt and is still working on forgiving me and seeing me and not the things he said I did to hurt him. He also told me that he does not know what will happen in the future, but at this point he does not have "funny feelings" for me and understands if I want to move on. Before he found out I was seeing someone new, he also wanted to give me a home and take care of me and be with me. He never let me know these things before. I am very heartbroken because he is saying all of this, and I did nothing wrong. He knows at the end of the day how much I truly love him and want our family together. I would work through anything with him but he refuses to at this point and wants to work on himself. What are your thoughts and or perspective on this situation? Thankyou for your input.

[preraph]

Meanwhile, can you even imagine that this whole time, your baby's daddy hasn't been out having sex with anyone who will have him? Why wouldn't you date? You're not married and you're not with him.

[Mamaintexas82]

My thoughts exactly. I told him this and his response is "it different for women" and he never brought these women around our child. He also compared himself to the guy I was dating and said, "I just don't understand...I'm a good man, I'm a hard worker, I thought I showed you how much I cared and you end up with this guy?" He left me!

[basil67]

We argued a lot and he has a very fragile ego, so he ran away from problems we had and never wanted to really work on them with me. He would break up with me when things became too much for him and anything I would ever say or bring up would make him angry and he would bolt.

 

There is also the option that the two of you were simply a poor match and he is right to walk away from it.

 

What stuff did you argue over? What problems were unresolved? And what was his side of the story?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I think your ex is being a hypocrite. He made the choice to end the relationship and now he is turning it around like he had all these dreams for a future with you until you ruined it by dating someone else. It is absolute rubbish and I wouldn't believe any of it for a second.

 

There was nothing in his behavior that suggested that he still had feelings for you, so I can only assume that he said it to hurt you out of spite and bruised ego. He may have liked the idea of you pinning over him and never moving on, but that is completely selfish and unrealistic.

 

Call him out on his hypocrisy and don't let him manipulate you. You deserve to be will a decent guy who appreciates you.

[d0nnivain]

You have a daughter. You don't need to be with this manchild. Your relationship was dysfunctional which is why you broke up. You fought all the time. You broke up at the slightest provocation because his fragile ego couldn't deal with disagreements & conflict. He is immature. All of that is still true.

 

When he saw you with another guy, he got jealous. He doesn't really want you back. He is selfish enough to not want somebody else to have you. That is all. So stop thinking you threw away your last chance with him because you dated another for a brief time. Your EX was lying to you about his true intentions.

 

At this point your contact with him needs to focus solely on your daughter & assuring that she remains in contact with her father. Throw out all unrealistic ideas about getting back together with him. He's not grown up enough for you.