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Married ex from 10 years ago spills her emotions on me, how to proceed?


MissingMyHubby

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When my ex came to me for comfort (a friend died) I told her I was sorry her freind died and referred her to one of her friends.

 

She never called me again.

 

Your ex is your ex. You have zero obligations to her.

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Receive a text at 130am, "do you miss me?"

Next text "oops, sorry."

 

You aren't the only one that she is texting.

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She clearly has problems in her life.

 

Psychiatrists, psychologists and counselor spend their professional lives trying to help people with emotional problems.

 

You are considering volunteering to help her with her emotional problems

 

The difference between what you are considering and what the trained professionals do is that they get paid for their efforts. What's the pay for you if you jump into her problems?

 

Thank her for her kind words about you but tell her you have moved on in ten years and don't wish to be living in the past.

 

There is nothing there for you. At best it's a dead end and at worst a quicksand big. KISA? She's looking for one, but you have no real idea of what her life is.

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LivingWaterPlease

Sounds as if she's a very confused unbalanced person who is desperate for attention and drama. I see nothing interesting in what you shared that she wrote. Wonder if she was "on" something when she wrote it?

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She sounds like she loves drama, and this is why her initial relationship with you didn't work out.

 

She loves the excitement and attention form a new relationship. getting married an being pregnant, because during all those times, all the focus was on her.

 

Now that has all died down, and she is no longer the center of attention. Women like this can actually become jealous of their own children. She can't handle routine because it sounds like it is boring for her.

 

You were in a long term, committed relationship with her, but that wasn't exciting enough for her. She needs the validation and excitement you can get in a new relationship.

 

Even if you did get back together, it wouldn't last, except perhaps as some sort of long term affair, because sooner or later, it would become routine, and she won't be able to have the world revolve around her.

 

I've met women like her. they were usually really spoiled by their parents, or they were raised in ab emotionally turbulent household, and it can be really hard to not have that "drama' n your life if it is what you are used to.

 

In your shoes, I would eave her alone. It sounds like you have already been deeply hurt, and I would not be keen to go down that path again. It's not you she really wants, it's all the drama.

 

If she texts you again, I would shut her down immediately. You don;t even have to acknowledge her behavior except to say that she should be talking all this through with her husband. Tell her you are in a committed relationship, and you are neither her therapist nor her friend ( you don't need friends Ike her), and if she is having issues, she needs to talk to her husband. if you want to be gentle and not hurt her, tell eh that you feel bad that she's hot a rough patch, and you want to help support her marriage by staying out of it and away from her. After all if you put yourself in her husband's shoes, how would you feel if she was talking about you behind his back. ( or behind her back, if she's married to another woman)

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ItsColdAsCrapInAlaska

To quote Chase Robertson of Duck Dynasty...."...There's a reason they are not in my life anymore!"

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