Fear Response

[Shining One]

Yesterday evening, I had plans to meet up with my girlfriend, her sister, and her sister's husband at a restaurant for dinner. My girlfriend arrived last and she told me about a "scary" encounter she had with a man at the traffic light further down the road. He was saying something (she couldn't hear him) and gesturing for her to roll the window down (which she didn't do). As soon as her light turned green, she sped off. Her sister agreed that it was a scary encounter and she did the right thing. I walked over, looked at her car, and told her: "He was probably just trying to tell you that your tire is low on air". She gave me one of those glares that I sometimes get for being logical when she wants me to be supportive.

 

In my driving history, I've been on both sides of this situation. Over a decade ago, a guy pulled up next to me and made signals at me. I rolled my window down and he told me my rear tire was low. I thanked him and then dealt with it. Some time ago, I was driving on a poorly lit road and I stopped at a light next to a woman whose lights weren't on. I tried informing her of this, but she would not roll her window down and drove off when the light turned green.

 

I understand that women have more to fear in this world than men do. However, I don't see what's so scary about these situations. Can any women here shed some light on what the specific fear is in this situation?

[mikeylo]

Not all women are like that ! I've seen equal number of men being scared of unexpected stuff.

[preraph]

Usually it's just some guy being a creep. I mean, these days, if your tire is low, most cars have a gauge light up for that. If they want to ask directions, then they can use their smartphone or ask a man instead of a pretty young woman.

 

Women have instincts as a primal survival instinct and they should pay attention to them.

[CptInsano]

I always found the responses to be very curious. On one extreme was the woman who ran screaming into the night after I asked her if she knew where the bus stop was relocated to. (I still have to grin thinking about this, it was so surreal.)

 

On the other extreme there are women who just gave me their purse to hold while they went to the bathroom in a club, one who went on vacation with me after talking for 30 minutes the night before, and one who took me up to her apartment after talking briefly on the street. And then there were those who asked me out of the blue to watch their kid(s) for a few minutes. I wonder about them.

 

No, I find women to be amazingly trusting, overall.

[Shining One]

Usually it's just some guy being a creep.

Are you saying the specific fear in this case is that the guy is going to hit on her?

I mean, these days, if your tire is low, most cars have a gauge light up for that.

Her car does not have a tire pressure sensor.

Women have instincts as a primal survival instinct and they should pay attention to them.

It seems to me that driving with a low tire or without your lights on presents a higher risk to one's life than being hit on by a guy in another car.

[elaine567]

Women know that they are pretty powerless in the face of a man out to hurt, rape or kill her,

It is usually a very unfair fight so most women prefer to flee a potentially dangerous scene rather than have to try and defend themselves against someone who is more or less bound to get his way, whatever that may be.

 

The car situation is about personal space, by wanting her to roll down her window he is violating her personal space and if he was up to no good then he could steal her car, rob her, shoot her, stab her, drag her out of her car and rape and kill her, and she knows there is absolutely nothing she could do about it. So she flees the scene instead.

 

Of course all those things could happen to a man too, but most men know they could put up some sort of a fight so unless they are faced with some huge crazy guy with a gun, they do a quick risk assessment and if they consider it safe, then they just wind down their window...

[Shining One]

The car situation is about personal space, by wanting her to roll down her window he is violating her personal space and if he was up to no good then he could steal her car, rob her, shoot her, stab her, drag her out of her car and rape and kill her, and she knows there is absolutely nothing she could do about it. So she flees the scene instead.

To be clear, the man wasn't standing next to her window. He was driving the car next to her at the traffic light. I can understand being afraid if it's a strange man standing next to your window.

[Miss Spider]

I have personally known someone who was mugged in a similar situation. A woman in her 60s, who thought her muggers were helping her with her tire before they attacked her.. I wish I could assume every stranger meant well, but that's increasingly not the case. You hear stories, which may not be likely to happen but it only takes once. Plus the fact that as a woman you are physically weaker than a man and perceived as an easier target. Idk I like to play it safe.

[Miss Spider]

To be clear, the man wasn't standing next to her window. He was driving the car next to her at the traffic light. I can understand being afraid if it's a strange man standing next to your window.

 

Oh okay. Well I think along the same thought, anyway. Some people are just more on alert and don't have time to register much other than "stranger" "night" "alone" before fear kicks in

[knabe]

While I understand her reluctance to engage a stranger, I think her glare at you was silly. I mean, you were just stating the obvious.

 

And the idea that he "violated" her by asking her to roll down her window so he could HELP her with useful info is silly too.