My boyfriend left me because he found out I dated a black guy in the past

[girlfromeurope]

My dear sweat people I appreciate every single letter you took time to write. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. But you are making me feel like I've dated Adolf Hitler. You just discarded all the great things about him I listed and those are just a few. I can understand that some people hold heritage and continuity of someones culture important. It's not to me but it is to him. It is to a lot of your friends, parents, coworkers. I don't think they are all racist. We are not all liberal and not being liberal doesn't automatically mean you are racist. There is nothing wrong for wanting your children to look like you either.

 

You made me defend him

 

I love him. I'm not 16 I'm 24. I thought from the moment he asked me out that this was it. All that I ever wanted.

 

My mom is staying with me for couple of days, his mom too. Haven't asked them but I guess they see the shape I'm in.

 

My dad has "I told you so" look on his face. He never forbid me to date black guy but said that even for the girls like me it could still close some doors in the future. He's not gloating but I guess he likes to be right. He's a dad after all.

[GorillaTheater]

But you are making me feel like I've dated Adolf Hitler.

 

 

He's not Adolph Hitler, just a run-of-the-mill *******. We've all dated *******s, and the majority of us have found somebody better. You will too.

 

 

And for godsakes stop defending him.

[thefooloftheyear]

My dear sweat people I appreciate every single letter you took time to write. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. But you are making me feel like I've dated Adolf Hitler. You just discarded all the great things about him I listed and those are just a few. I can understand that some people hold heritage and continuity of someones culture important. It's not to me but it is to him. It is to a lot of your friends, parents, coworkers. I don't think they are all racist. We are not all liberal and not being liberal doesn't automatically mean you are racist. There is nothing wrong for wanting your children to look like you either.

Yl.

 

 

Well....You're right....there isn't anything wrong with wanting to date/marry your own culture/race...People do it all the time...For some people it IS important and they deserve every right to seek those that allow them to fulfill their own desires...

 

But reacting the way he did for some past relationship decision you made, as if somehow now you are "tainted" or "damaged goods" well.....that is dead wrong...and if he truly valued you, then he wouldn't feel and react the way he did..

 

That's the issue...

 

TFY

[ZayKayWill]

Do whatever makes you happy I guess but I can bet my left nut that you can easily find someone way better. If you say he's a saint can't imagine how wet and crazy you'll get over someone more level headed than him. Lmao.

[lana-banana]

Your ex-boyfriend is a piece of racist, insecure garbage who would have found another reason to destroy your life if not this. You are infinitely better off.

[preraph]

No matter how you slice it, this guy has BIG problems that you have just now been forced to acknowledge. YOU did nothing wrong dating a black guy. Good grief! I guess it's because your dad is like that that you were able to ignore your bf being that way until it came to a head because it seemed normal and acceptable to you.

 

My opinion, your BF has nasty insecurity problems that make him lash out at anyone who strikes a nerve -- or has a bigger penis.

[basil67]

My dad has "I told you so" look on his face. He never forbid me to date black guy but said that even for the girls like me it could still close some doors in the future. He's not gloating but I guess he likes to be right. He's a dad after all.

 

Your father's lesson was to live your life so that bigots would have nothing to hold against you? He didn't teach you to do what is right and rise above the idiotic thoughts and actions of others?

 

You have had some seriously poor parenting by him.

[LivingWaterPlease]

girlfromeurope, the issue with your bf isn't race, as you've well noted. The issue is control. Seems to me he wants control of your past, and this indicates the level of control he may want over your future.

 

This is not to disparage him but from what you've written you view him as a god, almost. There are people (not saying he's one of them, but just suggesting the possibility) who are able to manipulate the thoughts and beliefs of others to cause others to believe they are faultless; perfect. What better way to exercise control over another than to influence a person in this way? Because of your bf's reaction he isn't the person you believed him to be whether or not he tried to deceive you into thinking he is.

 

Your bf's reaction was extreme, regardless of his beliefs about interracial dating.

 

Right now, he's really got control over you, doesn't he? To the point you feel you can't go on. You think the problem is YOU and what you did in the past whereas the problem is HIM and the level of control he needs over you.

 

From what you've described I wouldn't be surprised if he'd had a similar reaction to someone taunting him about a previous sexual experience you had with a caucasian guy.

 

It seems both yours and your bf's reactions to this issue from start to finish of what you've posted are overly emotional. Nothing wrong with emotions but part of maturity is forcing oneself to consider logic at the same time experiencing intense emotions.

 

Know you don't want to hear this but the two of you may have imploded over some other issue were it not this one.

[d0nnivain]

We'll gloss over the race of your past BF.

 

Let's look at the other facts:

 

• Upon learning that you have a past, your "perfect" BF reacted with extreme violence. He beat another person so badly that he ended up in jail.
   
  
• Then he chose to drown his sorrows in booze instead of talking to you.
   
  
• Now he has run away.
  

 

What kind of man does that? Real men stick around & discuss issues. They don't beat up people & then pull disappearing acts. At best he's a man child. You can't marry & procreate with a guy this immature. He's acting like a spoiled brat after somebody else played with his toy.

 

Unless your name is the deed for this apartment he bought, you'd better start packing.

[LostOnes05]

Thank you so much for all the comments. But you are wrong about him being racist, he has many black friends. The single father of four I mentioned, the one he gave up his salary for, is black. I think there is a difference between wanting to wear white hood, burn crosses and harm black guys and having second thoughts about interracial relationships.

 

And as I said I don't know why did it hurt him so bad. But I did.

 

About penis insecurities you mention. For the love of Jesus Christ, it took us half an hour to fit his dick inside of me the first time we had sex, and two months of intense practice to push that thing all the way in. He is HUGE and at first it hurt more than it felt good but with time it became amazing.

 

His character, his looks, his height, his build, his career and his dick, you'd believe there is no man in this world he would feel threatened by.

 

I do not know what to do. My whole life is ruined. And I feel guilty staying in the apartment he bought. And I'm scared for him. What if he's drinking himself to death? His parents haven't seen him in two days. He's best friend knows something but hides it from me. What's worst one of my girlfriends is already preparing to make a move on him (even though nobody knows where he is!?).

 

I will be completely honest with you. I've already decided that I will overdose on sleeping pills if I decide to kill myself. Those are the thoughts going thru my head right now.

 

 

His physical characteristics (private parts, etc.) don't overrule the fact that he is racist. You should run for the hills instead of trying to get this guy back. It already seems that he has lowered your self-esteem and made you believe that dating someone who happens to have more melanin in their skin has somehow tainted you for him.

 

Here's the untainted truth...

1) You enjoy sex with him and are extremely attracted to him...but he's still a racist

 

2) You have created this perfect man in your own mind from this incredibly imperfect man (which is fine)...but he's still a racist

 

3) You don't see how low your self-esteem is to let him hold dating a black guy over your head and years ago at that...which means he's screaming from the bottom of his heart that he's racist

 

4) If you harm yourself (which I hope you definitely DON'T DO)...he'll still be a racist and move on without you

 

5) He is very fragile. Handle with racial care...but I'm fairly certain he'll still be racist.

[RecentChange]

Unlike skin color – intolerance is not something we are born with, its something we are taught.

 

SERIOUSLY? This was your father’s take away? Not thank goodness my daughter isn’t going to marry a guy who turns to violence and alcohol when faced with what he perceived is a difficult situation (which really is NOTHING to get upset about!!)

 

So, your father isn’t concerned about violence, or an inability to talk things out, or not fly off the handle, get stupid drunk etc when something happens.

 

What if you married him, what if you had a teenage daughter who dated a black man, then what? Would prince charming here be in jail for murder?

 

He has ZERO coping mechanisms. He is a grown ass man who acted out like a toddler – a toddler with the strength to do harm. So this white knight has a criminal record now huh?

 

I am disappointed in your father as well, and now its clear why you missed the red flags which I am sure would have been there.

 

Look it doesn’t take a “liberal” to not call your “loved one” disgusting for having a BF of a different skin color. It doesn’t take a “liberal” to not BEAT someone because of news of who your GF once dated. It doesn’t take a liberal to know that this is wrong.

 

Curious screen name. Are you FROM Europe? How often do you go to the homeland? Do you speak the language of your European family? Have you had a DNA test? Has he? Do you think it matters? Why or why not?

 

(on a side note… my family welcomed in a niece… of my step mother’s ex husband. It seemed their backwards family (all poorly educated, unsuccessful) had disowned her for marrying a black man. Never mind the fact that they met in their pre law program and both went on to earn their law degrees from Ivy league schools. They are now a highly successful couple with two beautiful children…. That her knuckle dragging family will never know)

[spiderowl]

I can imagine you are having a hard time adjusting to this changed reality you are faced with. The guy you have put on a pedestal - who has done some good things - is also the kind of guy who can compartmentalise to the point of irrationality. He can have black friends, be kind to black people, and yet hold deeply racist views that are so powerful that they taint his view of you. You are his girlfriend - how can he treat you like this? It is because basically he is not the perfect god you think he is.

 

I know the kind of confusion you must be feeling. One of my parents is deeply racist and yet has been kind and generous to a black friend of mine. How can this person be one and the same? I will never understand it. I love my parent and at the same time I am shocked and saddened by the 'other side'. I cannot ignore that the other side is part of my parent too. Challenging said parent is pointless because these are deeply held, irrational beliefs of the kind that children have when they see a stranger and are afraid. It is that simple and basic and everything else is built on that initial feeling.

 

You have a choice here of whether to bow down to try to win him back (which I doubt will lead anywhere good as you will always be having to prove yourself to him in some way). Also, by trying to do that, you are giving him power as a direct result of his worst behaviour. You could leave him of course. I cannot see you doing that at the moment because you are still in shock and cannot believe that you have seen this side to him. I think you should stand up to him. Tell him you do not regret the past, you love him but will not put up with him behaving in any racist way. Once he sees he cannot control you like this, things may change but I doubt it.

 

Unfortunately, this guy is split and likely to remain that way. He has a dark side you have not seen (or have ignored) before. Talking about penis size is irrelevant and not helpful. I'm sorry to say I think you need time to adjust to your 'perfect' guy falling off his pedestal. People who are so compartmentalised can be dangerous. He could be dangerous to you. This dark side is a concern.

 

Whatever you are feeling though, you are not at fault. You are a woman who loved a black guy before you met your current boyfriend. You should be proud you are a loving person. I hope you do not allow this boyfriend to control you and turn you into someone else. Losing him would obviously be very painful but you will find better. It is just going to take a while getting used to the idea that he is not the one, when you have built him up to be so.

[guest569]

1. He is absolutely racist.

2. Your past relationship is none of his business.

3. Is there a friend or relative you can stay with for a while? I think you should get out of that apartment.

4. Go and talk to someone you trust for support, or seek a psychologist.

5. You can do much better than some shaggy haired guy with a monobrow and bad posture who chews gum when he sings.

 

You will get through this and you will be ok.

[littleblackheart]

My opinion, your BF has nasty insecurity problems that make him lash out at anyone who strikes a nerve -- or has a bigger penis.

 

Yes. I'll admit I didn't read the OP thoroughly enough and totally lost it as soon as I saw ex BF spent the night in prison after what seemed to be a bar fight.

 

That made me much more concerned for OP's immediate safety long term than the racism. That's not to say the racism part isn't important (not condoning racism at all), but even racist bigots get into relationships, that's a fact of life, and some people (like the OP, it seems) don't make it a deal-breaker; that, I feel, is their personal business.

 

The temper is a far bigger immediate issue here, I feel.

Edited August 8, 2017 by littleblackheart

[Lorenza]

It makes me a bit uneasy how you adore him like he's some kind of god. A good looking exterior and few good deeds doesnt nullify the fact that he treated you like a piece of garbage. A few years later you'll be appalled that you felt like defending this pos.

 

That being said, we can all have our dating preferences. There's nothing wrong in wanting to mate with a preferred race or nationality. I don't see anything wrong with wanting your partner to be specifically Caucasian or Asian or African American, just like there's nothing wrong with mixing up genes with whoever you want.

 

The f'ed up thing here is that you dating a black guy has nothing to do with your current one and it literally doesn't affect him in any way. He has nothing to be upset about. He might not want to date a black woman for whatever reasons, but you don't have to share his views.

 

You've done nothing wrong. Move on from anyone who humiliates you and looks at you with disgust and righteousness.

[SammySammy]

It makes me a bit uneasy how you adore him like he's some kind of god. A good looking exterior and few good deeds doesnt nullify the fact that he treated you like a piece of garbage. A few years later you'll be appalled that you felt like defending this pos.

 

That being said, we can all have our dating preferences. There's nothing wrong in wanting to mate with a preferred race or nationality. I don't see anything wrong with wanting your partner to be specifically Caucasian or Asian or African American, just like there's nothing wrong with mixing up genes with whoever you want.

 

The f'ed up thing here is that you dating a black guy has nothing to do with your current one and it literally doesn't affect him in any way. He has nothing to be upset about. He might not want to date a black woman for whatever reasons, but you don't have to share his views.

 

You've done nothing wrong. Move on from anyone who humiliates you and looks at you with disgust and righteousness.

 

Me too.

 

All of these characteristics she's trying to project onto him are superficial. They don't don't add up to a quality person. His intelligence and character is questionable and he's immensely insecure. He's not worth being hurt over much less killing herself. It's not that serious.

[kortz]

 

About penis insecurities you mention. For the love of Jesus Christ, it took us half an hour to fit his dick inside of me the first time we had sex, and two months of intense practice to push that thing all the way in. He is HUGE and at first it hurt more than it felt good but with time it became amazing.

 

 

Waaaaaaaaaaay too much information

 

He may not be an all out kkk racist but deep down he has some issues clearly that are pointing towards him have some sort of resentment towards black guys. What you did in the past he cannot hold against you...why is he not angry about all the white guys you've dated?

 

For such a great guy (as you make him out to be), this whole thing is extremely silly and narrow minded.

[Lorenza]

Me too.

 

All of these characteristics she's trying to project onto him are superficial. They don't don't add up to a quality person. His intelligence and character is questionable and he's immensely insecure. He's not worth being hurt over much less killing herself. It's not that serious.

 

He's hot and apparently good in bed, with a huge manhood - OP made sure to tell us that. Her breast size as well. I fail to understand why this info is important.

 

It seems like people (of both genders) are ready to forgive anything as long as their partner is hot and f***s well.

[RecentChange]

He's hot and apparently good in bed, with a huge manhood - OP made sure to tell us that. Her breast size as well. I fail to understand why this info is important.

 

It seems like people (of both genders) are ready to forgive anything as long as their partner is hot and f***s well.

 

Yeah talk about a complete lack of focus on what really matters.

 

He called her disgusting, left her, showed absolutely no love....

 

But ya know, he has a huge dick, and she's got a huge rack, and apparently they are both "European" so I guess they should work it out.... For the sake of the race.

[umirano]

The first thing that came to my mind when I read your ex's description:

 

If it's too good to be true...

 

... it probably isn't

 

He's violent, he's running from an adult conversation and he resorts to drinking when facing a challenge.

 

He left you his apartment and he was, according to your account, OP, often a kind, empathetic person. You must see, however, that he has serious flaws that need to be worked out before he can become a good partner. To anyone.

 

You surely don't want to be with him only because of his dick and his looks? There are other good looking, well endowed people.

 

I'd say all in all the current situation could not have been avoided. Be happy it happened now, before this RS went even further. It always sucks to lose a relationship, but you see how it had to happen eventually, right? Take your time to heal and work through it, but keep in mind, you are better off this way in the long run. You will look back in a few months and feel relief, I am sure.

 

I think it's unhelpful to underline how bad and RACIST the OP's ex is. We don't know exactly what his motivations were as they never had a normal conversation about what made the OP's ex behave the way he did. The person he was talking to could have told him provocative lies just to get under his skin. Given how hot headed the ex sounds, I see this as highly likely.

 

With regard to the outcry about your ex's racism I want to say the following:

 

Race among humans isn't a scientifically (i.e. in biology, genetics) accepted term. In population genetics the concept of 'race' is most closely described as family. The differences between 'races' are smaller than the differences between individuals of the same 'race', this has been famously shown in research around intelligence distribution among humans. Other fields have shown the same. I have a 'black' friend (dark skin, curly hair, etc.) whose genetic origin is portuguese (95%) and only 5% from sub-saharan africa. Our superficial, lay-person's view of the world is often very misleading and inaccurate.

 

I'll now use race/racism in their colloquial meaning.

 

I have been with partners of a different race twice. One RS lasted over 4 years. I've seen my share of open and concealed racism. In my personal experience everybody is racist. Members of all races are racist. People who have friends and partners from different races are racist. People who call out others on racism are racist. Racists can be good people. Most would not personally partake in or call for genocide.

 

And finally: Children with a varied genetic inheritance (i.e. of 'mixed race') are taller, faster and smarter (Nature) than children of unvaried genetic inheritance.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I've been dating the man of my dreams for almost a year now. I am completely in love in him to the point that I want nothing more then to be his wife, have his children and spend my entire life with him. We grew up together

and were best friends growing up. My family moved to another state but we continued long distance friendship as often as we could. Finally, after five years, we reconciled and our friendship turned into relationship. That made me the happiest girl in the world.

 

He, in my eyes, is perfect. Spiritually and physically.

 

He is fearless, intelligent and has great sense of humour. He never tells jokes, he has natural wit and uses situation to make funny remarks. The thing that stands out the most, especially in today's world, is how unselfish he is and how much he is willing to sacrifice himself for other people. He once asked his boss to lower his salary so they could keep single father of four who was about to get fired. And nobody knew it because he didn't want to say anything. His coworkers accidentally found out what he did two years after.He also saved a girl who was being raped by two guys. He beat the living **** out of them before they were able to do it. The girl said to police officers that at least couple of men passed by even though she was screaming and begging for help. But not him. Knowing him, he was ready to die there and then to protect her. Another thing I adore about him is how he threats me in public or in front of his friends, how he openly shows how much he loves me and how protective he is of me. One time one of his best friends made not so funny comment about me and he made him apologize there and then. I could see in the eyes of his friend's girlfriend how much she envy me to have such a boyfriend. Once we witnessed break up of the couple in the restaurant because he cheated on her. On the way home he stopped the car, took my hand and looked me in the eyes. He told me that he would never do something like that to me. I smiled because I knew what kind of man he is and that what he said was true.

 

He is unbelievably handsome, he looks a lot like Oasis singer in Stop Crying Your Heart Out music video (great hair). He's 24 years old, 6 feet 2 and 200 pounds, athletic build with godlike shoulders (former D1 water polo player, tried out for Navy Seals - completed 18 weeks of training, had to drop out off final 6 weeks because off injury).

 

Six months ago we got ourselves our first apartment and started living together. Everything was working out perfectly. Until last week.

 

He went out with his buddies and it was starting to get late. I called him and there was no reply. He always replayed to wish me good night if he was staying late. I called him again past midnight and started to get worried. I stayed up all night scared that something happened to him. He finally got home in six in the morning. I wasn't mad at all just relieved and immediately went to hug him. He evade me and looked at me like a was some stranger. I asked him what was going on and this is how conversation went.

 

ME: what is going on, where have you been all night?

HIM: prison

ME: what? why? are you ok? what happened?

HIM: beat the living **** out of some guy.

ME: why? what did he do to you, did he attack you?

HIM: don't know maybe you can tell me.

ME: what do you mean I don't understand anything you are saying, why are you acting like this.

HIM: he said something.

ME: what did he say!?

HIM: that my girlfriend was ****ing some n-word in college.

 

I'll never forget the look in his eyes after he said it, he looked at me like I betrayed him. He expected me to deny it but I could see that he thought it was true. And it was true. I dated a black guy two whole years before we even started dating. He was a nice guy and we dated couple of months and that was it. So what. I couldn't understand what was bothering him because I did nothing wrong and yet he looked at me like I cheated on him. I told him I love only him, and want only him and dream only him and all those thing are completely true. But the way he continued to look at me, I couldn't stand it and started to cry. This was the first time he made me cry and I could see that it immediately soften that cold look he was giving me. He told me that he doesn't want me to cry because of him. I told him to hug me and everything would be ok.

 

He said that he can't do that and walked right past me.

 

I lost it and went after him. Asked him why does it bother him so much, does dating a black guy makes me somebody else and not girl he loves. He wasn't turning back. That made me say something stupid. Asked him what is he insecure about when he has huge penis (8 inches long and 6 inches thick, I personally measured it before we had sex for the second time. I've never had less then couple orgasms when we make love.) and the black guy had only average one. Telling your boyfriend about other men's penis is, literally, last thing he wants to hear.

 

He turned around and slowly approached me. And then told me he's disgusted with me. I was about to slap him. But then I looked in his eyes and noticed how hurt he was. I still can't understand it but I could see that it broke his heart. We looked each other for a moment. I didn't say anything and neither did he. He turned around and slammed the door behind him. I took my purse and went to my parents place. Cried on my mother's shoulder for hours. I stayed the night and went to our apartment the next morning.

 

First thing I saw was empty Jack Daniels bottle on the floor. Entire place stank of booze. He was up and sitting at the table, hangover, and smoke cigarettes. He never smoke. I told him I like what he done with the place but he wasn't amused. I asked him if we can talk and I was fully aware the venom that was about to come my way.

 

Talk about what, he said. Talk about that I had no respect for my ancestry and heritage, for the things that make me who I am and how I look. Talk about that I obviously have no problem with considering giving birth to a child that looks nothing like me.

 

I stopped him before he could continue with all things wrong with me and gathered all my courage and asked him if he wants to break up with me.

 

He paused and said that he wants me to go out for a cup of coffee and return after he cleans the place up. He told me that whatever happens, he wants me to stay in the apartment because he bought it for me and our family. The way he said "our family" broke my heart. I sounded like something that will never happen. He told me he doesn't want me to cry because of him, that he's an ******* and not worthy of my tears. He then repeated his request and asked me to give him an hour to clean the place up. I told him I hope that he'll be here when I got back.

 

He wasn't. Apartment was as good as new. He left a note saying that no matter if we end up together for the rest of our lives or not, like we both thought we would, that he will love me as long as he lives and will never have another women in his life.

 

More crying.

 

And week later here I am posting this badly written diary entry on this forum. I don't know where he is and he didn't text me back. I've spend entire week trying to find out why does it bother him so much that I've been with a black guy even though we weren't dating at the time.

 

This is what I find out surfing the internet. There are two reasons why white men don't date white women who dated black men.

 

1. They feel like penis size thing is real (which in my case proved completely false and by the way I didn't find single study or research that would support such claim)

2. They feel that women who do it are "tainted" and lost their worth (guess we have a winner)

 

The man I love obviously sees me as "tainted" or lesser version of the one he thought I was. I must admit it was a huge hit for me. I love him unconditionally. I try to be a good person. I'm a college graduate. I have a pretty face, I'm 5 feet 6 and 120 pounds with 36DD-24-36 (all natural by the way) frame. Yet, in his eyes, because I've been with a black guy, all that isn't good enough anymore.

 

I do not know what do to. I don't even know why I wrote all this. I don't know what answers I want from all of you or want anything at all.

 

All I know is, I want him back. I honestly say that I might commit suicide if we won't get back together.

 

Thanks for reading anyway.

 

Get rid of this guy! Racist bigots are disgusting excuses for human beings and if you think his hate only revolves around his disdain for people of different colors, you are wrong. They are full of hate that never really discriminates regardless of what superficial excuse they use to justify it.

 

Racists possess an hatred that originates from a fundamental flaw in their personal core. Their hatred is absolutely irrational as you have witnessed and extends to anyone who does not share their POV.

 

You sound like a very attractive girl. Find someone who will build you up, provide you the comfort and opportunity to experience this world w/o fear or bitterness, help raise children who are prepared to blend in a multicultural world and associate with all the amazing different types of people that reside here.

[clist8511]

Thank you so much for all the comments. But you are wrong about him being racist, he has many black friends. The single father of four I mentioned, the one he gave up his salary for, is black. I think there is a difference between wanting to wear white hood, burn crosses and harm black guys and having second thoughts about interracial relationships.

 

"Wrong about him being racist" - listen, I have to get out of this thread. And you don't have to be a KKK member to be racist. If you think that's the only form racism comes in, I can't help you.

[clist8511]

We are not all liberal and not being liberal doesn't automatically mean you are racist. There is nothing wrong for wanting your children to look like you either.

 

 

WOW. I suggest you research the history and the meaning of the N word. I was going to give you advice, but I'm sorry... I can't. You seem to be subconsciously suggesting that this man's horrid views are OK because he "wants his children to look like him" - just no.

[littleblackheart]

WOW. I suggest you research the history and the meaning of the N word. I was going to give you advice, but I'm sorry... I can't. You seem to be subconsciously suggesting that this man's horrid views are OK because he "wants his children to look like him" - just no.

 

In my personal experience, the number of bigots I've been able to convince is sweet FA, that's why I now know better than to get involved in arguments of that type on an anonymous forum; all it brings is frustration.

 

I hope OP decides to stay away from the guy, mostly because he's a violent thug. The racist part is on them both.

[kiss_andmakeup]

In my personal experience, the number of bigots I've been able to convince is sweet FA, that's why I now know better than to get involved in arguments of that type on an anonymous forum; all it brings is frustration.

 

I hope OP decides to stay away from the guy, mostly because he's a violent thug. The racist part is on them both.

 

Yeah, this is starting to read a lot more like a bizarre attempt at a "cautionary tale" from someone who is her/himself a racist, rather than merely someone who dated and was subsequently dumped by one.