My boyfriend left me because he found out I dated a black guy in the past

[girlfromeurope]

WE GOT BACK TOGETHER!

 

He came to see me and apologized. He said even if I don't take him back he will never forgave himself for making me cry. He said that it doesn't matter whom I've been with when I will spend my entire life with him If I choose so. And I choose him. I love him. I truly love him. And he loves me more then anything in this world I can see it in his eyes.

 

I want to thank everyone here for their input, positive or negative. I was truly in a low place when I wrote this.

 

Wish you nothing but the best.

[harrybrown]

So did he tell you why he felt that way?

 

Hope you can help him to become more mature. He needs to explain why he acted that way. It was not acceptable at all!

 

 

 

 

 

Good luck. You will need it.

Edited August 8, 2017 by harrybrown
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[RecentChange]

I wonder how he will handle the next adversity, or are black men really the only thing that makes him go on a violent drinking rampage?

 

Is he no longer disgusted with you?

 

Did you make it clear that treating you like this is NEVER acceptable?

 

This obviously bothers him, is it going to be addressed or rug swept?

[BaileyB]

WE GOT BACK TOGETHER!

 

He came to see me and apologized. He said even if I don't take him back he will never forgave himself for making me cry. He said that it doesn't matter whom I've been with when I will spend my entire life with him If I choose so. And I choose him. I love him. I truly love him. And he loves me more then anything in this world I can see it in his eyes.

 

I want to thank everyone here for their input, positive or negative. I was truly in a low place when I wrote this.

 

Wish you nothing but the best.

 

Well, they say love is blind...

 

Someday, when you take those rose covered glasses off, you will see that this guy is far from perfect...

 

His response to the news that you once dated a black man was racist, intolerant, and violent. If that is "perfect" - then I would hate to see what your deal breakers are... Good luck to you!

Edited August 8, 2017 by BaileyB

[d0nnivain]

WE GOT BACK TOGETHER! .

 

 

My condolences. This is going to be a rocky road for you but if you are happy, I wish you all the best.

[GorillaTheater]

I'm not totally convinced that they aren't a good match for each other.

[umirano]

He said even if I don't take him back he will never forgave himself for making me cry. He said that it doesn't matter whom I've been with when I will spend my entire life with him If I choose so.

 

He speaks in moral absolutes. It seems he's highly volatile and emotional. Regardless of the finer details, someone who puts you through an emotional turmoil like this and later claims it was all just a mistake better has a few very good explanations. Tread carefully.

 

And he loves me more then anything in this world I can see it in his eyes.

 

You're not being objective.

[Bastile]

WE GOT BACK TOGETHER!

 

He came to see me and apologized. He said even if I don't take him back he will never forgave himself for making me cry. He said that it doesn't matter whom I've been with when I will spend my entire life with him If I choose so. And I choose him. I love him. I truly love him. And he loves me more then anything in this world I can see it in his eyes.

 

I want to thank everyone here for their input, positive or negative. I was truly in a low place when I wrote this.

 

Wish you nothing but the best.

 

I would put good money on it that your relationship is better than most of the people talking trash

 

Keep a keen eye for any sort of resentment moving forward, though. Slipping backwards is unacceptable. An insecure wobbler is one thing; a toxic relationship is quite another.

 

And all the best.

[LivingWaterPlease]

gfe, trying to recall if you posted how you met him. Do you know anyone who has known him long term? If so, it would be good for you to find out more about him, what experiences others have had with him.

 

It seems most on this thread are predominately bothered by the race issue. To me that's only a small part of the equation and is only a symptom of an issue that will pervade all other issues in the realm of your relationship together.

 

Please give this relationship time (a couple of years at least) before marrying or becoming pregnant. This man seems emotionally unstable and abusive from what you've written.

 

He's beaten someone up. Broken up with you after abusive language about your life choices. Caused you a great amount of pain.

 

Taking him back immediately without dealing with the issues is letting him know that everything that has gone before is OK with you. This type of thing is going to happen again, about all kinds of issues you two encounter. It's how he deals with life.

Edited August 8, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease

[BaileyB]

It seems most on this thread are predominately bothered by the race issue. To me that's only a small part of the equation and is only a symptom of an issue that will pervade all other issues in the realm of your relationship together.

 

Please give this relationship time (a couple of years at least) before marrying or becoming pregnant. This man seems emotionally unstable and abusive from what you've written.

 

He's beaten someone up. Broken up with you after abusive language about your life choices. Caused you a great amount of pain.

 

This type of thing is going to happen again, about all kinds of issues you two encounter. It's how he deals with life.

 

Could not agree more. Very well said.

[Gr8fuln2020]

gfe, trying to recall if you posted how you met him. Do you know anyone who has known him long term? If so, it would be good for you to find out more about him, what experiences others have had with him.

 

It seems most on this thread are predominately bothered by the race issue. To me that's only a small part of the equation and is only a symptom of an issue that will pervade all other issues in the realm of your relationship together.

 

Please give this relationship time (a couple of years at least) before marrying or becoming pregnant. This man seems emotionally unstable and abusive from what you've written.

 

He's beaten someone up. Broken up with you after abusive language about your life choices. Caused you a great amount of pain.

 

Taking him back immediately without dealing with the issues is letting him know that everything that has gone before is OK with you. This type of thing is going to happen again, about all kinds of issues you two encounter. It's how he deals with life.

 

Race was the subject in which she introduced her problem, so it is understandable that we focused on it. Never the less, I agree with you. His obvious bigotry and anger (response) is indicative of a man with a darker center...

 

I wonder OP, do you now dismiss his racist attitude b/c you love him and he's taken you back? Or are you two simply not fundamentally compatible?

[Lorenza]

Any piece of advice falls on deaf ears you guys. OP adores this man. I wish them luck, but we all know that an outbreak like this is a foreshadowing to many others to come. There's no chance this episode of violence, belittling and irrationality is a one time thing. Just like there's no chance OP will listen to what we're saying.

[basil67]

I'm not totally convinced that they aren't a good match for each other.

 

Yes, she did mention in a previous post that he said she likes drama. Apparently he's right on the money.

[Sweetfish]

WE GOT BACK TOGETHER!

 

He came to see me and apologized. He said even if I don't take him back he will never forgave himself for making me cry. He said that it doesn't matter whom I've been with when I will spend my entire life with him If I choose so. And I choose him. I love him. I truly love him. And he loves me more then anything in this world I can see it in his eyes.

 

I want to thank everyone here for their input, positive or negative. I was truly in a low place when I wrote this.

 

Wish you nothing but the best.

 

 

OP is so in love with her boyfriend and showing so much insecurity (build with godlike shoulders)that she cannot she how dangerous this man can possibly be in the near future.

 

Two pieces of information I want to express and this is solely my opinion and observation.

 

1. He is an attention seeker. Sometimes the hero is not the hero. Sometimes he or she is just looking for the reward.

 

2. His disregard for the law. He beat the crap over someone not because of you and not because your ex was black. It was because the Black guy tarnished his reputation. See observation 1.

 

3. No control. under distress he is another person and highly controlling over his surrounding.

 

Living only together for 6 months and things are falling apart and he will never see you the same.. This is typical with males. Often your sexual past is important and is a "double standard" but that's how many males are. When it comes to sexual past we do not let this go.. Very rarely... Observe the sex from here on out and see if it changes.

 

Riddle me this. You want this man to be your husband and father to your children. Well take note of this. He is violent and already been to jail or "prison" People hardly change so expect him to be in jail again for assaulting another person or maybe even you.

 

and look at the way he responded to a past incident where both of you were not even in a relationship. So when he gets more comfortable with you...how will he respond when you do something he feels damages his reputation. Are you blinded by his controlling behavior?