fred123 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 a girl wants a guy she is proud of. so my question is what do we have to do to make her feel proud of us? decent job? money? status? being cool? girls will probably be better to reposed to this i guess. I'm trying to be a guy who a girl wants to be proud of and show off. I'm working on a lot of myself 1
basil67 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I'm a woman. For me, pride doesn't come into it. I'm more about wanting a man I respect. 7
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Hard working/good work ethic. Compassionate and kind. Doesn't badmouth other people/put other people down. Has good hygiene and takes care of himself physically. 2
SammySammy Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Be the guy you're proud of without needing to be shown off. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 A quality woman will be proud to be with a guy because he's a genuine person. A woman who is with a guy only because of how much money he has, what he looks like or where is works is a . . . Golddigging social climber (at best) 5
5x5 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 a girl wants a guy she is proud of. so my question is what do we have to do to make her feel proud of us? decent job? money? status? being cool? girls will probably be better to reposed to this i guess. I'm trying to be a guy who a girl wants to be proud of and show off. I'm working on a lot of myself Well I'm not a girl, yet I'll share my thoughts on this. My question is why do you feel you need a woman to feel proud of you? When our children do well, my wife and I feel proud of them for their efforts and achievements. That pride which my wife and I share, in part comes through some sense of ownership of them. So when we are proud of others our pride is to some degree rather patronising. Do you want to appeal to a woman as a sexual partner, or would you rather appeal to a woman as a child or as someone who is lesser than them? As to being shown off, you would do well to appreciate the fact that trophies tend to get left on mantelpieces to gather dust, or are put away in boxes before they are then forgotten. Improve yourself by all means and even be proud of yourself as well. Yet you would do well to avoid trying to appeal to any woman, as some sort of trophy that they should be proud of. Since such an approach has a tendency to limit ones appeal rather than enhance it.
basil67 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 My question is why do you feel you need a woman to feel proud of you? I'm interested in the answer to this question too. I'm guessing that he read somewhere that women want a man they can be proud of, but only the OP can tell us the real reason.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 (edited) I think the OP is making a point....I believe we all want to be proud of our SO, our kids, our team mates. whatever.... We want to feel like those people in our lives have characteristics that stand out in a crowd...It could be anything from a successful career, a host of personal or professional accomplishments, being giving and generous. hardworking/detail oriented, taking care of ourselves, being family oriented, and yes, even "shallow" stuff like having nice things, having good looks or a good body... And while they may not want to admit it, yes, most women prefer guys with these "intangibles"..its just a fact....Few guys get very far when they just show up with the shirt on their back and not much else... OP...Take stock of yourself...Do you stand out in any way, or are you just a "face in the crowd"?? But here is the real point.... All of these things(stuff I mentioned above), are the types of things we all do for ourselves...Be the best person we can be...These are the types of things that set us apart from the rest, and sure.....they will make us more desirable and make our SO's proud...it's a "win -win" scenario.. Good luck.. TFY Edited August 9, 2017 by thefooloftheyear 1
tetrahedral Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 The wording is strange, but I think this is a pretty reasonable question to ask. Think about it this way. If you meet a girl, when she tells her friends about you, what's she going to say? "Oh my God. He's so _____________"? "I'm seeing this guy, he's _____________"? If you're a guy, you have to fill in those blanks to attract someone. Now, the exercise has limitations if you take it too literally. But the general idea remains - if you can't visualize a girl admiring something about you aloud, then you know what you need to work on. That said, there's a difference between being your best self and trying to impress people. When you do things just to seek approval, it shows. People aren't that smart. But what they are is experienced. They've been on this planet for a long time, and they've learned how to tell if someone is trying to impress them. It's a bad look.
Gaeta Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Each woman has different reasons to be proud of her man. Personally I am proud of a man with integrity, a man that has drive, works hard, has goals and is going for them, a man that doesn't let others push him around, a man that knows what he wants and goes for it. Some women are career oriented, others are looks oriented, others money oriented. The answers will also change if the members are 20 or 35 or 50 + depending where they are in life. It also comes from our childhood. I was raised on a farm in a family of men and all my life growing up I heard good things about men that could work with their hands. If you can build a house with your 2 hands that's a man to be proud of - so I became a woman attracted to men that can build things even if I became a professional working in finance I am still the most proud to have a boyfriend that builds and fixes things for me. On the other hand I have lady friends from other cultures who would only be proud of a wealthy man, even if he's a lazy @ss it's ok, they married into money so they are proud, they made it as per their cultural norms. 1
knabe Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I am proud of a man who is GOOD. I mean more than "nice." Because the modern definition of nice is "suffocatingly accommodating unless you won't sleep with me, then I get bitter." A good man is honest. A good man is not lazy. A good man assesses a person based on who they are rather than generalizing through a lens of baggage. A good man is not a scorekeeper. But he is also not a pushover. A good man treats the people around him as if they have value. 6
preraph Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I think if you're proud of yourself and handling life and work and confident and just love yourself, others will love you too, and respect is part of that. 2
RecentChange Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 a girl wants a guy she is proud of. so my question is what do we have to do to make her feel proud of us? decent job? - Yes, this is important to me. Shows ambition and talent. It may be crummy to say, but I certainly wouldn't be "proud" to say my significant other worked a dead end retail job for instance. money? - Don't need this, I make my own status? - To an extent yes, a man who is respected by his social and professional peers. being cool? - Ha, I am pretty cool, so I want a guy who is cool too. girls will probably be better to reposed to this i guess. I'm trying to be a guy who a girl wants to be proud of and show off. I'm working on a lot of myself My husband does really kind things which makes me very proud of him. Like buying toys for the kids of our struggling neighbors. He collected donations and took it upon himself to gather some volunteers to feed the homeless. He will often drop everything to help an elderly person, or an animal in need (ask why we now have 4 pets!). He doesn’t do it for accolades, often his friends etc have no clue about these “extras” he does to help the community – heck I am usually last to find out what he has up his sleeve. He does it because he is a really kind person at heart, and that’s of the many things that makes me proud that he is my husband. 2
knabe Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Regardless of what PUA sites and people who AREN'T women will tell you, a healthy, quality woman is not going to be swayed by externals. I chuckle when I hear a man who struggles with women say he's completely changed, and then he rattles off a bunch of external crap like clothing and hairstyle. When it comes down to it, in a REAL relationship, it will be a man's internal qualities, emotional intelligence, and character that will make a woman proud of him/respect him. Guys tend to focus on the outside stuff because it's A) easier - like new clothes or B) something they cannot entirely control - having the right job....because then they can blame that. I man's attitude toward himself and the female gender are THE biggest factors to success or failure. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 Regardless of what PUA sites and people who AREN'T women will tell you, a healthy, quality woman is not going to be swayed by externals. I chuckle when I hear a man who struggles with women say he's completely changed, and then he rattles off a bunch of external crap like clothing and hairstyle. When it comes down to it, in a REAL relationship, it will be a man's internal qualities, emotional intelligence, and character that will make a woman proud of him/respect him. Guys tend to focus on the outside stuff because it's A) easier - like new clothes or B) something they cannot entirely control - having the right job....because then they can blame that. I man's attitude toward himself and the female gender are THE biggest factors to success or failure. I don't even know what PUA means, but I do know what quality women want, and just being a "good guy" that's "nice to women", will likely not get it done.. TFY 2
basil67 Posted August 9, 2017 Posted August 9, 2017 I don't even know what PUA means, but I do know what quality women want, and just being a "good guy" that's "nice to women", will likely not get it done.. TFY Yup. Being a good guy who's nice to women is just basic foundation. Gotta build on those foundations. 2
Bastile Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 My entire life view is that this whole "looks, money, status" stuff is complete rubbish. These last few years have been the best I've ever had with women. Yet, I was better looking as an 18/22 year old, and was in a very popular social/clubbing circle. I am also currently underemployed (by choice), and have had much better jobs. This "build it and they will come" mentality is weak and passive. I know, because I've done it. Stand around looking as shiny as possible, and hope that a girl chooses you. You want to be hunted, rather than hunt. Learn to game. Regarding women and their social circle: I think you are looking for validation. That's not necessarily a bad thing (in fact, I think it's an honest thing), but I would question the type of validation that you seek. A woman's use of her social circle is certainly a sign of interest. I've seen it over and over that a woman risking her social circle in any way for you is a massive sign of them being in love. I have a few interesting examples of this. But the only real sign of interest you need as a man is that she is having sex with you. Prioritizing anything other than this is tomfoolery. Focus on having sex. Let her worry about the relationship (and she will...). Be a lover, not a provider.
shellybing Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Do what makes YOU proud man. You deserve happiness. People all have different things that make them "proud" the only thing you can do is make yourself happy and proud. 1
Author fred123 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Posted August 10, 2017 I date women and yh they will hang out with me and kiss me and sleep with me and they will text me etc. But i want to be that guy where the girl invites me to stuff and wants to go on holiday with me and wants to spend new years with me and go on a spa break with me and have pictures with me and asks me to do stuff and does sweet cute things for me. I want a girl who wants to see me twice a week and makes plans in advance with me without looking like i want more or it being too needy. Any guys here had this or have that? How did you become so lucky to be that guy? Is it just luck? I hate being just a guy that women talk to or just sleep with. I want to be more than that
Author fred123 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Posted August 10, 2017 My entire life view is that this whole "looks, money, status" stuff is complete rubbish. These last few years have been the best I've ever had with women. Yet, I was better looking as an 18/22 year old, and was in a very popular social/clubbing circle. I am also currently underemployed (by choice), and have had much better jobs. This "build it and they will come" mentality is weak and passive. I know, because I've done it. Stand around looking as shiny as possible, and hope that a girl chooses you. You want to be hunted, rather than hunt. Learn to game. Regarding women and their social circle: I think you are looking for validation. That's not necessarily a bad thing (in fact, I think it's an honest thing), but I would question the type of validation that you seek. A woman's use of her social circle is certainly a sign of interest. I've seen it over and over that a woman risking her social circle in any way for you is a massive sign of them being in love. I have a few interesting examples of this. But the only real sign of interest you need as a man is that she is having sex with you. Prioritizing anything other than this is tomfoolery. Focus on having sex. Let her worry about the relationship (and she will...). Be a lover, not a provider. Well with my last girl i was having sex with her. Thats the problem it was just sex
Miss Spider Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Well with my last girl i was having sex with her. Thats the problem it was just sex You need to find someone who likes your personality and you click with on an emotional lvl instead of just physical. If you can't your personality prob needs work or you keep looking a long time
SammySammy Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 This reads like a woman wrote it. It has a "will you respect me in the morning" feel. It's hard to be that guy when the things you say and do have feminine undertones. Sends a subconscious message that you're definitely not that guy. You have to fix that and doing so would not be luck. 2
Bastile Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 Well with my last girl i was having sex with her. Thats the problem it was just sex No, mate. Your posts about that woman reek of need. I can imagine how that went. The reason I had women wanting me to meet mama back in Italy is because I don't particularly want to lol You weren't seeing anyone else either, I presume. Trying to game a relationship, which is a feminine thing to be doing. I wouldn't mind the right ltr to settle into. I'll not be doing it like you say. I'll be mass approaching, multi-dating, engaging in debauchery, and having fun until a woman convinces me otherwise. Expect some amusing posts and threads over the next few weeks/months You do the same. Stop the emo stuff, and start having fun.
Ruffian1 Posted August 10, 2017 Posted August 10, 2017 This reads like a woman wrote it. Well, what a sexist comment. Really?, OP is not supposed to feel the way he does. Guess, what, now that we females can get an education, make our own money and not worry about getting pregnant, we can use men too, like for just sex or hanging out or dating more than one and being "players". OP, you are not feminine to have those thoughts and feelings. It is just what you want and you are not wrong in wanting that type of relationship.
Author fred123 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Posted August 10, 2017 This reads like a woman wrote it. It has a "will you respect me in the morning" feel. It's hard to be that guy when the things you say and do have feminine undertones. Sends a subconscious message that you're definitely not that guy. You have to fix that and doing so would not be luck. How do you fix that to become that guy?
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