JuneJulySeptember Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 I find the work ethic one funny, since almost everybody has their own view of what work ethic is ... and it corresponds with their own. I also think it's ironic because most people argue with their mates for spending too much time at work. My co-worker's wife argues with him because he works long hours and she thinks he shouldn't have to. That's a pretty common attitude I think. My GF doesn't argue with me now for working long hours, but if we were married or had a kid, she would.
Miss Spider Posted August 11, 2017 Posted August 11, 2017 (edited) Thank you Cookiesandough. This was the whole point of my post. You got it. And for the record, I have never used a man or been anything close to a player. The OP wants a "quality relationship" with some one, that is all I got from his post, someone that really "gives a sh*t" about him. That is both a male and female thing. (but he was told he sounded like a woman) np. Like all dating boards, you'll find a lot of MGTOW who condemn other guys for desiring monogamous relationships. Edited August 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Bastile Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 np. Like all dating boards, you'll find a lot of MGTOW who condemn other guys for desiring monogamous relationships. Doesn't know what mgtow is... Regarding discussions on femininity, which is the main scoff of people throughout this thread, and Gaeta telling people to read his other threads, he made a thread about desiring a sex change based on women having it "easier" in dating. Then giving him female advice ("fix your picker"), and he somehow relates to it! Dear oh dear. It's true what Midnight said in relation to how people sometimes just don't want to learn. If Fred was a decent looking woman getting 50 messages each day from thirsty guys (he's not; he wishes that he was), and his main concern was how to filter them, then perhaps his "picker" would be his issue. Clearly scarcity is his issue. But fixing that would actually take a big effort... ...so sod it. Let's go with picker. Those in disagreement? Mgtow. Bastile relates to Midnight's frustration I'm out. Much love. 2
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 np. Like all dating boards, you'll find a lot of MGTOW who condemn other guys for desiring monogamous relationships. Most people on here are applauding fred123 for wanting a monogamous relationship. What we all see -- that you are missing -- is that fred123's GF was using him. He was too sweet & naïve so he missed the signs that she was using him to make herself feel better 1
Author fred123 Posted August 12, 2017 Author Posted August 12, 2017 Simple, she's more into him. Doesn't really mean that he is a better person etc. Attraction, compatibly, etc are nuanced things. Maybe they have it, while you two didn't. I was dating a guy when I met my now husband. He was successful, had a great job at Google. Good looking, kind, fun, we got along just fine - but I was never CRAZY about him, and tended to make time together a low priority. Meanwhile soon after meeting my now husband I would move heaven and Earth to be together. We moved in together six months after meeting. He didn't have a better job, he wasn't taller or more built, etc - but we are compatible in a way I can't describe. These things are fickle, and comparing yourself to her new beau probably won't do much good. If my ex met my husband he would probably be scratching his head asking "why"? I don't have a good answer! Just "because". Isnt that wrong that you led him on knowing you werent crazy about him?! Isnt that manipulative?
Miss Spider Posted August 12, 2017 Posted August 12, 2017 (edited) Most people on here are applauding fred123 for wanting a monogamous relationship. What we all see -- that you are missing -- is that fred123's GF was using him. He was too sweet & naïve so he missed the signs that she was using him to make herself feel better I did not miss that at all. I was addressing only the posts in which people were claiming the reason he can't get in a relationship is because he is acting like a "woman" in wanting a relationship. They were implying that the problem is that he's a man wanting a relationship, I just disagree w the premise I've seen Fred's threads and it reads as a typical guy frustrated with dating. I haven't read where he is seriously considering a sex change, lol. Fred now laments he is tired of girls using him for sex, so yes, has the ability to get women, just not the ones he wants in a relationship with him. That could be a 'picker' issue or neediness., I'm not sure, and no one here is, because we aren't seeing all the details of Fred behaves or the women he's choosing. Edited August 12, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Bastile Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 I did not miss that at all. I was addressing only the posts in which people were claiming the reason he can't get in a relationship is because he is acting like a "woman" in wanting a relationship. They were implying that the problem is that he's a man wanting a relationship, I just disagree w the premise I've seen Fred's threads and it reads as a typical guy frustrated with dating. I haven't read where he is seriously considering a sex change, lol. Fred now laments he is tired of girls using him for sex, so yes, has the ability to get women, just not the ones he wants in a relationship with him. That could be a 'picker' issue or neediness., I'm not sure, and no one here is, because we aren't seeing all the details of Fred behaves or the women he's choosing. You made a thread just the other day indicating a need for push/pull. All the women agreed. Any man with a few lays, and two brain cells to rub together would agree also. Then tell Fred that his chasing of relationships is smart? Or do you think it is more likely to run them off? Gaeta tells to go back through his threads. Okay. We have the one where women are racists, we have the one where he no longer wants to be a man, we have this one about money/status, etc etc. Fair to say there are glaring inner-game issues, no? As for "mgtow", I know that poison like the back of my hand. I can smell it like a dog smells sausages. The only mgtow leanings in this thread were Fred's own. Money/status talk is that inclination. Mgtows typically are sexual-market place socialists. This links to the same mindset of Fred's where he was calling women racist. It's a grotesque, almost marxist-like, projection of the sexual marketplace. It would help if he made one massive thread instead of multiple different ones, if he really wanted to get to the bottom of his issue. But that is also dependent on the preference towards receiving sympathy and attention, or pragmatism and problem solving. 2
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 I did not miss that at all. I was addressing only the posts in which people were claiming the reason he can't get in a relationship is because he is acting like a "woman" in wanting a relationship. They were implying that the problem is that he's a man wanting a relationship, I just disagree w the premise I've seen Fred's threads and it reads as a typical guy frustrated with dating. I haven't read where he is seriously considering a sex change, lol. Fred now laments he is tired of girls using him for sex, so yes, has the ability to get women, just not the ones he wants in a relationship with him. That could be a 'picker' issue or neediness., I'm not sure, and no one here is, because we aren't seeing all the details of Fred behaves or the women he's choosing. It could be neediness. How is one needy? I thought i wasnt. She texted me 100 times a day. I never inititaed once. I only asked her out once a week. How do i become less needy than that? 1
elaine567 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 It could be neediness. How is one needy? I thought i wasnt. She texted me 100 times a day. I never inititaed once. I only asked her out once a week. How do i become less needy than that? The whole problem with "neediness" is that neediness isn't really the problem. If a person is really into you then they want to hear from you, they want to be close to you, they want to speak to you, they want to have sex with you, they often cannot get enough of you. If they are just not into you and you want to get close, then they call you needy and clingy and they usually cannot get far enough away from you. Of course some are pathologically "needy", but that is a whole different ball game. 1
Chilli Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Simple, she's more into him. Doesn't really mean that he is a better person etc. Attraction, compatibly, etc are nuanced things. Maybe they have it, while you two didn't. I was dating a guy when I met my now husband. He was successful, had a great job at Google. Good looking, kind, fun, we got along just fine - but I was never CRAZY about him, and tended to make time together a low priority. Meanwhile soon after meeting my now husband I would move heaven and Earth to be together. We moved in together six months after meeting. He didn't have a better job, he wasn't taller or more built, etc - but we are compatible in a way I can't describe. These things are fickle, and comparing yourself to her new beau probably won't do much good. If my ex met my husband he would probably be scratching his head asking "why"? I don't have a good answer! Just "because". Yeah so true.
Chilli Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 (edited) I find the work ethic one funny, since almost everybody has their own view of what work ethic is ... and it corresponds with their own. I also think it's ironic because most people argue with their mates for spending too much time at work. My co-worker's wife argues with him because he works long hours and she thinks he shouldn't have to. That's a pretty common attitude I think. My GF doesn't argue with me now for working long hours, but if we were married or had a kid, she would. Can't win. Mine was always a bit resentful because l had such short hours, it's just how my business works though and one reason l do it and work for myself. free time. Edited August 13, 2017 by Chilli
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 (edited) I'm willing to bet, as recentchange said, it's moreso other factors like attraction, personality compatibility etc. But that doesn't mean you can't be too needy/desperate. Edited August 13, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 I'm willing to bet, as recentchange said, it's moreso other factors like attraction, personality compatibility etc. But that doesn't mean you can't be too needy/desperate. Elaborate please .
Steve51 Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 These are a few of the reasons she has told me. All Star player in both Football and Baseball. That is how she first learned of me.Decorated combat veteranAccepted by MensaPassed a test with a 3% pass rate at 21 becoming the second youngest person to every pass that licensing test.Bought my wife a new home the second year of our marriage and 8 more since then.Make a an income where we do not have to worry about money.Became one of the top two experts in my field worldwide by the age of 30.Co-authored a reference book still in use today.Appointed as an Alternate U.N. AdvisorAppeared on TV and radio being interviewed.She was proud that I accepted her bisexuality and her long time girlfriend.I have four walls covered with awards and licenses for my achievements in life and business.
Miss Spider Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Elaborate please . I wish I could, but without more detail, REcentChange pretty much covered it
JuneL Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 I think you are giving too much f^ck about this particular woman, which paradoxically is an unattractive trait for men. Most guys who are manly would just think there are plenty of fish in the sea; there're other women who will be attracted to you. It's a waste of your time to still be thinking about her (btw, how did you know they're on vacation together?).
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 My best friend is friends with her. Recentchange i quoted her post and want to ask. Isnt what she said manipulative. She went out with a guy she knew she wasnt crazy about.
JuneL Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 My best friend is friends with her. Recentchange i quoted her post and want to ask. Isnt what she said manipulative. She went out with a guy she knew she wasnt crazy about. Are you and this woman official bf and gf? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think RecentChange was referring to the dating stange (when the two of them are not exclusive).
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 Are you and this woman official bf and gf? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think RecentChange was referring to the dating stange (when the two of them are not exclusive). No we broke up a month or 2 ago now. Also my situation might have been different to what recentchange said. My ex told.me she was in love with me and saw a future with me and texted me 100 timea a day and even said she had a dream of us and our kids. So maybe recentchange is right she wasnt that into me compared to new guy but ots confusing none the less
JuneL Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 No we broke up a month or 2 ago now. Also my situation might have been different to what recentchange said. My ex told.me she was in love with me and saw a future with me and texted me 100 timea a day and even said she had a dream of us and our kids. So maybe recentchange is right she wasnt that into me compared to new guy but ots confusing none the less Okay, so you WERE official bf and gf and she refused to do some of the couplely things together with you? You should have been the one to dump her. My guess is, she was using you until she found someone she's crazy about. I also think you shouldn't be reading too much about texting. She was probably just killing time.
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 Okay, so you WERE official bf and gf and she refused to do some of the couplely things together with you? You should have been the one to dump her. My guess is, she was using you until she found someone she's crazy about. I also think you shouldn't be reading too much about texting. She was probably just killing time. Yh so many lessons i have to learn. We were only official bf and gf for a month. But yh she used to text me all the time and be pissed off at me when i didnr reply back esp at the beginnig when she told me she didnt want exclusivity. It was a mind ****. I never really asked her to to coupley stuff cos she told me she hates it cos she panics so i respected her. And she didnt like to plan things in advance cos she snapped at me once when i tried to plan something 2 weeks in advance.
JuneL Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Yh so many lessons i have to learn. We were only official bf and gf for a month. But yh she used to text me all the time and be pissed off at me when i didnr reply back esp at the beginnig when she told me she didnt want exclusivity. It was a mind ****. I never really asked her to to coupley stuff cos she told me she hates it cos she panics so i respected her. And she didnt like to plan things in advance cos she snapped at me once when i tried to plan something 2 weeks in advance. Everything you described here confirmed that she was never really into you. It sounds like she agreed to be your girlfriend rather reluctantly.
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 Everything you described here confirmed that she was never really into you. It sounds like she agreed to be your girlfriend rather reluctantly. Yh it hurts when u say that. I was always respective of herr. Was such a mind **** i didnt know what i could do or ask her or how often. It was horrendous. I been told to respect girls and i did
somanymistakes Posted August 13, 2017 Posted August 13, 2017 Well, if you want to look at it from a 'respect' position, then you kind of have to respect that she's not interested. Sadly, it doesn't matter what you do if someone's just not feeling it. You can't make them love you.
Author fred123 Posted August 13, 2017 Author Posted August 13, 2017 Well, if you want to look at it from a 'respect' position, then you kind of have to respect that she's not interested. Sadly, it doesn't matter what you do if someone's just not feeling it. You can't make them love you. Yes but then she shoulndt have said all those things to me and made me feel bad about dating other girls when she never wanted to be with me.
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