Sweety80 Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 My boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for 2 years now, but all of the sudden, he wants time off because he doesn't know if he loves me. we had a great relationship, and he says that nothing i did was the cause of his mixed up feelings. he's under a lot of stress right now, and we have been living together for the past 3 months, but i don't understand where this is coming from. you can't just love someone one week and not the next. I'm confused on how much time i should give him to figure out if he really wants to continue this relationship. i still love him immensely, but i cannot continue not knowing how he feels. do you think immense stress can transfer over to a relationship? i would really appreciate a guys view on this. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Sweety80 Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 My boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for 2 years now, but all of the sudden, he wants time off because he doesn't know if he loves me, but he still cares for me a great deal. we had a great relationship, and he says that nothing i did was the cause of his mixed up feelings. he's under a lot of stress right now, and we have been living together for the past 3 months, but i don't understand where this is coming from. you can't just love someone one week and not the next. I'm confused on how much time i should give him to figure out if he really wants to continue this relationship. i still love him immensely, but i cannot continue not knowing how he feels. do you think immense stress can transfer over to a relationship? i would really appreciate a guys view on this. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
ReallyConfused Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 If you can, read some of the posts of what I've gone through. Would you rather marry him & have him tell you in 10 years that he doesn't really love you? I made a horrible mistake and confused the kind of love you feel for a best friend with the kind of love you feel for a wife. Now I have to go through hell to try to make everything right. If you try to force him into something he doesn't want, he will resent you for it. That resentment will grow and grow until he can't take it anymore & leaves you. Just be patient and don't pressure him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 There is no way to know where this guy is coming from. Only he knows and either he is not being honest with himself about his feelings or, he is, and is too scared to let you in on it. Either way, it sucks, and you are left holding the bag. His confusion is not your fault! It is sad that you are so involved with someone who feels this way, but do your best to not take it personally. That doesn't mean you have to feel sorry for him. You have to stand up for yourself and not let him jerk you around, whether he intends to do it or not. Stress can transfer over to relationship. But, life is full of stressful situations. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who deals with stressful situations by questioning his love and commitment to you? This is not very solid ground to be on. In your post you said "I'm confused on how much time i should give him to figure out if he really wants to continue this relationship?" Did he ask you for some time to figure this out or did you suggest it? You also said "he wants time off". Does that mean living in separate places? If so, who will stay where you are living now? Link to post Share on other sites
sweety80 Posted May 12, 2001 Share Posted May 12, 2001 He did say that he needed time to think..how much, he didn't say. as to the space issue..he was living with me prior to the breakup, and he's now living at home. i know he sounds pretty lame, but he does care for me alot, and you'd never know that we broke up by our conversations...even towards the end, we still were close and we talk to each other via telephone almost daily. he even said, when i told him that he had left some clothes at my place, that he'd pick them up when he comes up next time. however, i am going to stand up for myself...if he does decide that he wants to continue the relationship, i'll ask if its for certain..if not, then no way will i go through this again. There is no way to know where this guy is coming from. Only he knows and either he is not being honest with himself about his feelings or, he is, and is too scared to let you in on it. Either way, it sucks, and you are left holding the bag. His confusion is not your fault! It is sad that you are so involved with someone who feels this way, but do your best to not take it personally. That doesn't mean you have to feel sorry for him. You have to stand up for yourself and not let him jerk you around, whether he intends to do it or not. Stress can transfer over to relationship. But, life is full of stressful situations. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who deals with stressful situations by questioning his love and commitment to you? This is not very solid ground to be on. In your post you said "I'm confused on how much time i should give him to figure out if he really wants to continue this relationship?" Did he ask you for some time to figure this out or did you suggest it? You also said "he wants time off" . Does that mean living in separate places? If so, who will stay where you are living now? Link to post Share on other sites
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