wrinkledust Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 My ex and I dated for approx. 9 months. At approx. 4 months of dating, his ex was extremely mad, came up to us and tried to fight me. I was completely surprised by this, but my ex and his friends said she was "crazy" and a "psycho". At the end of our relationship, he was beating around the bush, claiming he "wasn't ready for a relationship", he tried projecting his feelings onto me saying "I felt lust, not love for him", he even confessed he knew he didn't love me since our 3rd month together. He pretty much dragged the entire relationship along for his own benefit. I had speculations there was someone else in the picture. I don't know why I always tried to compromise and find solutions to our problems. Even after he told me all of this, we were in LC, with hopes of us working out at the end.... I was on Snapchat one night and saw a mutual friend's Story where he was dancing with some other girl (I'll call her Stacy). He kept texting and asked to meet up. So we did, we went to have lunch once, didn't really talk about our relationship. Next day he came to my place. He talked to my dad for an hour, then we talked for approx. 2 hours. He told me he "loved me" and kissed me. I knew it was all bs. I went out with some friends that same night, and saw him at the same exact bar (small town) with Stacy. He ignored me completely, grabbed Stacy's hand and danced with her right in front of me and my friends. I was furious and told him he was a disrespectful a$$#0£3, poured my drink on him and left. (I know, I was wrong for doing that, but I felt as if I was sticking up for myself). Fastforward today, a friend of mine told me he had been going out with Stacy since April, and that they had met one night I was at a party with him (we were still together). He had come up to my friend asking who that girl was. Every since that incident, I have blocked him from social media and deleted his number. I am not sad as I was before, but I am in need of advice since this has definitely affected me in the worse way possible. I have done some research and I'm thinking he might be a narcissist... How can you move on from such abuse? Link to post Share on other sites
mousse Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Hi, I feel for you. I mostly dated toxic guys in my life, and it's hard to get over them, but it's not impossible. No contact helps a lot, as well as taking excellent care of yourself and learning to truly, genuinely love yourself. As an old poster on Loveshack wrote, 'you have to treat yourself like your boyfriend/girlfriend after the break up'. Therapy also helps, as it will help you figure why you fell in love with someone that didn't treat you well. And, finally, surrounding yourself with happy and positive people who really care for you is great too. Personally, I'm still struggling with trust issues now because of having been in love with guys who hurt me in the past. But mostly, I feel very peaceful everyday now, and I learned to spot toxic men and avoid them. It took me a while, but I did it, so don't despair and don't give up ! Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 You really should remember that he didn't treat you that way because you're you. He treated you that way because he's him. And also he's going to treat Stacy like crap too. It is the only way that he knows how to treat people. I'm sorry you're sad but you are truly so much better off! One day you'll look back and see that if you don't know it already. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 (edited) You really should remember that he didn't treat you that way because you're you. He treated you that way because he's him. And also he's going to treat Stacy like crap too. It is the only way that he knows how to treat people. I'm sorry you're sad but you are truly so much better off! One day you'll look back and see that if you don't know it already. Exactly. I was in a similar relationship with a narcissist. She's just sick like that and has issues. It's not a reflection on me, although I'm still working on dealing with the anger I feel about the way she treated me, for putting up with it for a while, and for sticking around longer than I should have. Hindsight is always 20/20. It's not on my mind as often as it used to be, but a few times a month I think about it and it bothers me. Edited August 11, 2017 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
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