Ladies, do you prefer guys who are cocky or humble?

[kazen]

Base on your past partners, which one of these characteristics have you value more?

[anduina]

Anything but cocky.

[diddilybop]

while i do like confidence, i'll take humble over cocky any day.

[RecentChange]

Humble.

 

I love it when a guy who has let's say a really esteemed career acts like it's no big deal.

 

Quiet confidence. Boastfulness screams of insecurity or a lack of social awareness.

[anduina]

while i do like confidence, i'll take humble over cocky any day.

These aren't synonymous. Cockiness is conceited or arrogant.

[basil67]

Why does it have to be one extreme or another? Neither of these appeals to me. I'd take a guy who's confident without being cocky about it.

[diddilybop]

These aren't synonymous. Cockiness is conceited or arrogant.

 

i didn't mean to say that cockiness and confidence were synonymous. i was expressing that i like men who have confidence and can also be/know when to be humble

[preraph]

I like a guy who's confident for a reason. If it veers into cockiness or arrogance, as long as he's really all that, I don't mind. I usually think humbleness is fake.

[somanymistakes]

Cocky is amusing but I don't trust it.

[basil67]

The only way being humble works for a guy is if he has reasons to be cocky, but is not. If you're an average looking guy, with an average job, you are expected to be humble so it isn't exactly a positive thing. If you are a rich guy, really good looking, or a pro athlete, then being humble will help your cause. That average guy is better off acting a bit cocky.

 

Very good points about humility. Though as someone who's attracted to the average guy, I prefer him to be confident in who he is rather than cocky.

[hippychick3]

I was about to answer that I don't care for cocky guys. But then I realized that my bf is actually a bit cocky. However, he is very very likable...everyone I know who meets him likes him a lot, and he has tons of friends. He does not at all come across as a jerk. He knows his strengths and his confidence comes across as cocky at times. But, he also knows his weaknesses and has no problem admitting those.

 

I suppose it's how you present yourself and how it balances with your other personality traits (for example his friendliness and ability to admit weaknesses makes his cockiness tolerable).

[d0nnivain]

Given those two limited choices, Cocky.

 

While cocky is more arrogant, self confidence is incredibly sexy. Ideally I'd prefer (& have) a confident man who doesn't need to brag. He knows his own value & is comfortable in his own skin.

[aurelius99]

This is where you'll see a discrepancy between what women SAY and what they actually do. All you need to do is look around to find that women, in reality, prefer a man who borders on cocky. Maybe not full blown "misogynistic pig", but still a bit arrogant. But they will say they want humble, gentlemen.

[somanymistakes]

I could just as easily say that women "in reality" are attracted to cocky until they get repeatedly burned by it (what a surprise, dating jerks often doesn't work out well!)

 

I'll stick with humble now, thanks.

[diddilybop]

I could just as easily say that women "in reality" are attracted to cocky until they get repeatedly burned by it (what a surprise, dating jerks often doesn't work out well!)

 

I'll stick with humble now, thanks.

 

haha, right? i've definitely dated the cocky guy before and while he's obnoxiously boasting about himself, i'll be thinking, "ugh, this guy...really?"

[basil67]

This is where you'll see a discrepancy between what women SAY and what they actually do. All you need to do is look around to find that women, in reality, prefer a man who borders on cocky. Maybe not full blown "misogynistic pig", but still a bit arrogant. But they will say they want humble, gentlemen.

 

When I look at the women I know, I don't see this.

 

Which women are you talking about?

[preraph]

The only way being humble works for a guy is if he has reasons to be cocky, but is not. If you're an average looking guy, with an average job, you are expected to be humble so it isn't exactly a positive thing. If you are a rich guy, really good looking, or a pro athlete, then being humble will help your cause. That average guy is better off acting a bit cocky.

 

I agree with this. One of my exes is humble. It's fake and misleading. I have always veered to the cocky side. It has helped me achieve my earlier goals. It wouldn't do anything for me now though. Too old to pull it off. My favorite cocky guys are those who are cocky because they had to build themselves into who they are now, so they're proud of it and making the most of it. An old flame, I didn't know at the time, was so ill as a child he was considered terminal in a slow progression. He miraculously survived and here he was this weak kid who he didn't want to be. He blossomed bigtime, was very handsome once he reached a certain age, overly handsome. And he just became stylish but in a nonconformist way and made the most of himself and became successful at the things he tried. I loved how he re-created himself. I admire that in people.

 

Or my gay guy friend I knew from when he was a teen getting bullied by everyone including his own dad, who just charged through all the obstacles with a fierceness and flamboyance and humor, and made himself a very popular guy with so many friends. I wouldn't say he was arrogant or cocky exactly, but he was brash and brushed mean people off his shoulder like flies.

[SammySammy]

"I'm not cocky, I'm confident."

 

You can be confident and humble though. A strong sense of self-assurance with no desire or need to prove anything to anyone.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I'll take confident humility or humble confidence . Never ever "cocky."

[Popsicle]

Humble all day every day.

 

I had a cocky guy who was not humble. I learned that I do not like this. Humble suggests that he HAS skills but doesn't know it or flaunt it. Those are the best.

[aurelius99]

Like I said, I don't expect women to actually admit this. Maybe they don't even know it, themselves. But just watch actions and reality. The only exception is if you're talking about middle aged people and older.

[Imported]

Usually women don't approach guys, so they are limited to the guys that approach them. Take a wild guess which guy that is.

 

Oh, you sent them a "like" on online dating?

 

Also, be attractive looking or successful in life where you being humble actually means something or have a good outgoing personality with a solid social circle.

[Imported]

Humble all day every day.

 

I had a cocky guy who was not humble. I learned that I do not like this. Humble suggests that he HAS skills but doesn't know it or flaunt it. Those are the best.

 

I think a lot of "nice guy"s that think they're "humble" don't actually have "skills". They just expect girls to "give them a chance".

[honeytomb]

Quiet confidence. He doesn't have to speak highly of himself because it comes through in his demeanor and actions. He knows it of himself, it is not dependent on what other people think of him nor how he compares to others.

 

And in touch with reality, meaning he is humble enough to recognize his faults and not look down on others.

[Cookiesandough]

There are few things less attractive than arrogance !

Edited August 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough