Ladies, do you prefer guys who are cocky or humble?

[thefooloftheyear]

Whether women like cocky vs humble depends on the woman...Not all women can handle a cocky guy, nor would they want to.....but some manage just fine..

 

 

TFY

Edited August 11, 2017 by thefooloftheyear

[Bastile]

There is no higher interest from a woman than when she has a desire to both slap your face, and have your babies.

 

You don't get there through humility.

[SolG]

I don't like either humility or cockiness. Guess it depends on your definition but to me cocky denotes over confidence, which generally emanates from insecurity and/or over compensation.

 

Confidence and owning it without unnecessary self-deprecation is the sweet spot for me.

[flowerylife]

being humble is an admirable quality that not many people possess. I truely loved my ex and I still do ( he doesn't know) because he had accomplished a lot, but didn't feel it was necessary to brag about it. Very sexy quality to have!

[tetrahedral]

There's a difference between quietly cocky and loudly cocky. IME it's practically impossible to overdo the quiet version. I'm sure it's possible but I haven't seen it yet.

 

But being the talker kind of cocky.... that makes you look like a dick fast.

[tetrahedral]

I like a guy who's confident for a reason. If it veers into cockiness or arrogance, as long as he's really all that, I don't mind. I usually think humbleness is fake.

 

Totally agree with this observation.

 

Most people care mostly about... themselves. It's really weirder when they pretend that they don't.

 

It's funny. People say, if someone is cocky, they have to back it up. Why shouldn't people who say they're humble be expected to back it up?

[Shockey]

Humble every time. I hate cockiness. It's not attractive for me in the slightest.

[kazen]

I like a guy who's confident for a reason. If it veers into cockiness or arrogance, as long as he's really all that, I don't mind. I usually think humbleness is fake.

 

If I were to ask you, do you prefer ruby or diamond ring for engagement? And your reply is "I prefer ruby because I usually think diamonds are fake." Obviously, I meant real diamond right? My thread is about cockiness vs humbleness. Not cockiness vs fake humbleness. You must assume the humbleness is genuine as well.

[preraph]

I will be the first to admit that I am cocky when it comes to certain things, but I am also aware of my limitations. I am just an average looking dude, so I won't be out there acting like I am the best looking guy ever, because I am not. I do have other gifts though, and yeah, I can be cocky when it comes to those things. As long as I can back it up, which I can, it works for me. I try to balance it out by not being too flashy or anything.

 

Hey, I've always felt if you don't blow your own horn, nobody else will do it either. And I've also always believed what "The Fonz" said on the old sitcom "Happy Days" about never tell people bad things about yourself or devalue yourself to others or put yourself down even jokingly, because sometime a year from now, that person may not remember you said it about yourself and repeat it as if someone else told them that. And to me, that's where the contrived humility can get you. There are entire cultures who dislike anyone who is proud of their accomplishments, you know. I say own your accomplishments.

[preraph]

If I were to ask you, do you prefer ruby or diamond ring for engagement? And your reply is "I prefer ruby because I usually think diamonds are fake." Obviously, I meant real diamond right? My thread is about cockiness vs humbleness. Not cockiness vs fake humbleness. You must assume the humbleness is genuine as well.

 

Nope. There's all variations of both. My ex is humble but he gets real bent out of shape when you veer from his plan or step out ahead of him on your own. He's as self-interested as anybody else. But I think everyone who knows him would call him humble and nice guy. There's an old punk lyric, I'm an easy going guy, but I always got to have my way.

[hippychick3]

I will be the first to admit that I am cocky when it comes to certain things, but I am also aware of my limitations. I am just an average looking dude, so I won't be out there acting like I am the best looking guy ever, because I am not. I do have other gifts though, and yeah, I can be cocky when it comes to those things. As long as I can back it up, which I can, it works for me. I try to balance it out by not being too flashy or anything.

 

My bf would probably write exactly this word for word if he were to respond to this thread. Lol

[kazen]

Nope. There's all variations of both.

 

I know there are variations, but that's not the point of the thread, silly goose.

 

It's like if I ask you do you like red or blue and you answer by saying you like the different variation of colors in between. It's a straight simple question.

[knabe]

This is where you'll see a discrepancy between what women SAY and what they actually do. All you need to do is look around to find that women, in reality, prefer a man who borders on cocky. Maybe not full blown "misogynistic pig", but still a bit arrogant. But they will say they want humble, gentlemen.

 

My fiance is "all man" and knows himself. He has confidence. But he has a tender manner underneath. He doesn't go on about himself. He doesn't crave limelight or attention. He doesn't attempt to eclipse everyone in the room. And he is somewhat self-effacing. I would consider him humble.

 

The problem is that people with a limited and biased understanding of vocabulary think humble is the same thing as meek. It's not. You can be humble and very strong and assertive at the same time.

 

If you're man enough lolol (tongue in cheek)

[Bastile]

The problem is that people with a limited and biased understanding of vocabulary think humble is the same thing as meek. It's not. You can be humble and very strong and assertive at the same time.

 

Quite right.

 

But I find that there is a far more limited view of "cocky".

 

Mine is based around irony and self-amusement, for example.

 

Enigma, Tetra, Thatfool, etc, all have their own swag. Which, can be reverse-engineered, if they want to look at it.

 

But the point is that men need that spark, energy, hustle about them or whatever.

 

Humility alone gets you nowhere. Might as well be made out of cardboard, and lack any sort of adventurous spirit.

[preraph]

My fiance is "all man" and knows himself. He has confidence. But he has a tender manner underneath. He doesn't go on about himself. He doesn't crave limelight or attention. He doesn't attempt to eclipse everyone in the room. And he is somewhat self-effacing. I would consider him humble.

 

The problem is that people with a limited and biased understanding of vocabulary think humble is the same thing as meek. It's not. You can be humble and very strong and assertive at the same time.

 

If you're man enough lolol (tongue in cheek)

 

Conversely, some people think cocky means someone is loud and obnoxious. The cocky guys I've known best were actually pretty quiet in a group, like a cheetah in the weeds.

[knabe]

This 50 year old father shows the perfect balance. And yes, I chose the subject matter on purpose

 

Idiot Guy Treats His Date Horribly But Then This Off Duty Cop Overhears Their Conversation | Bored Panda

[RecentChange]

Perhaps people have different definitions of humble… and perhaps it comes with maturity. I suppose humble isn’t the way to bag 21 year old girls, but it may get you a woman who knows how to handle a man, not an immature boy.

 

I also agree with another poster who mentioned being humble when you have legitimate things to boast about.

 

And perhaps the humble I am thinking of is the “fake” humble. There is still confidence, an abundance of confidence, but no self fallacio in the way of a braggart, or arrogance, or “cockiness”.

 

I can think of two examples I ran across recently.

 

Someone was asking my husband about his bike competition experience. He was saying “oh yeah, I used to go to a lot of competitions and wasn’t half bad” then went on to talk more about his lifestyle at the time etc.

 

I butted in… “not half bad” if you think representing the US at the World Championships as not half bad.

 

He is humble about his competition experience, in the face of having accomplished things that he could be cocky about.

 

And the other, a guy highly accomplished in the world of finance. When asked what he does, he plays it down, “oh its really simple” and usually turns the conversation away from him. The same man has been named “_____ of the year”, holds a very high position with a huge firm, appears on various TV news shows etc as an expert in the area, has rung the closing bell etc.

 

But he acts like its no big deal, and doesn’t volunteer that info unless asked. He is humble about his accomplishments.

 

To me, cockiness is PUA stuff, and works on the same quality of women (emotionally damaged, immature). ACCOMPLISHED men who are still humble? Damn that’s a panty dropper for me.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Humble 100% of the time.

 

Unfortunately I only attract cocky extroverts. I have even gone as far as to approach shy, humble guys when I was younger (thinking that they were not into making the first move), but they were never into me. Most humble guys like cocky, extroverted women.

[Woggle]

Confidence is good but too many confuse it with cockiness and ego. Somebody who truly has confidence in his or herself thinks never has to put somebody else down or bully another person to bring themselves up.

 

There is also a happy medium between a man who lives life as if he is apologizing for his manhood and a Trump like bully who likes abusing people. These aren't the only two options.

[RecentChange]

Btw, this thread keeps getting Kendrick's "Humble" stuck in my head.

[anduina]

Someone was asking my husband about his bike competition experience. He was saying “oh yeah, I used to go to a lot of competitions and wasn’t half bad” then went on to talk more about his lifestyle at the time etc.

 

I butted in… “not half bad” if you think representing the US at the World Championships as not half bad.

 

He is humble about his competition experience, in the face of having accomplished things that he could be cocky about.

 

And the other, a guy highly accomplished in the world of finance. When asked what he does, he plays it down, “oh its really simple” and usually turns the conversation away from him. The same man has been named “_____ of the year”, holds a very high position with a huge firm, appears on various TV news shows etc as an expert in the area, has rung the closing bell etc.

 

But he acts like its no big deal, and doesn’t volunteer that info unless asked. He is humble about his accomplishments.

Had these men matter-of-factly stated their accomplishments while minimalizing them, this doesn't negate being humble since they were asked. When asked, had they matter-of-factly stated their accomplishments, it doesn't negate confidence.

 

Had these men bragged without being asked, that would be problematic.

[RecentChange]

Had these men bragged without being asked, that would be problematic.

 

And to me that's being "cocky" or arrogant. Self promotion....

 

I would rather a guy who's accomplishments speak for themselves, than a guy who must let the whole room know how wonderful he is.

[anduina]

And to me that's being "cocky" or arrogant. Self promotion....

You bet! 10101010

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My fiance is "all man" and knows himself. He has confidence. But he has a tender manner underneath. He doesn't go on about himself. He doesn't crave limelight or attention. He doesn't attempt to eclipse everyone in the room. And he is somewhat self-effacing. I would consider him humble.

 

The problem is that people with a limited and biased understanding of vocabulary think humble is the same thing as meek. It's not. You can be humble and very strong and assertive at the same time.

 

If you're man enough lolol (tongue in cheek)

 

 

Soooo true, and this is the sexiest.

[LurkerXX]

Unfortunately, many of the boring, cliche ridden profiles on online dating belong to real men (and I suppose women too, but I do not experience that part of it). It would be a relief it was only just scammers doing their scammer thing, showing up in masse because it is a no/low cost opportunity to ply their wares.